A Tiger, a Jackal, and a few Bulls

Puli could not have struck at a worse time. As he backed off, Puli the tiger searched for an escape route; anything would do. He just had to live longer. As he looked cautiously around him he saw the four bulls towering menacingly above him. 1

He hunted all through his life but had never come across such a situation. Already his left hind leg was bleeding and throbbing where that ugly black bull with straight sharp horns had struck him. When he had seen the small herd from a distance he was ecstatic on his luck. If only he had timed his attack correctly... 2

He followed his usual tactic when attacking a herd of strong animals. He gave a loud roar from his camouflage. That was sure to send the animals scattering away in panic as the trees helped distort his location, making the sound as though it came from numerous animals all around.3

The bulls scattered away in all directions in panic when he had performed this chore. Then Puli selected a weak looking bull and pounced on him. He was just then fishing for the bull's vocal cord when there was a searing pain up his left hind leg. An instant later, he was violently thrown to the ground. When he gathered his senses, Puli looked around him to see the four bulls literally breathing down on him. 4

He had never imagined things like this. The look on the bulls was obvious; they were determined to finish him off. The nearest bull, the one with black patches all over his orange body, charged at him. Puli had less than a few seconds to keep the bull's horns blood-free. Out of desperation, he even ignored the condition of his hind leg and attempted to jump over the weak looking bull, which stood mildly shaking to his left. Jump over, he did. He managed to do even a little more than that. His passion for living gave him the strength not only to evade the bull and jump out of the 'bull barrier' but also to run into some place safe from the bulls. Puli would never forget this day in his life and vowed to take revenge on the bulls. Slowly he limped towards his den.5

-- 6

A week later Puli found a deer carcass being savored by a jackal. Eight days of hunger combined with inability to hunt due to his damaged leg made him do what he would never have done in his life. Puli snarled at the jackal and started eating the carcass. That mutilated corpse tasted wonderful in his hungry mouth.7

--8

Nari was dumbstruck. He had never seen anything like this. Though he had seen the tiger come towards him, he never thought the tiger would drive him away and actually eat the carcass. The tiger walked a little slow though. Come to think of it, he even limped a little. Nari walked around the devouring tiger and saw the reason for this abnormal behavior. The tiger had been badly wounded in the recently past and though the gash had turned more or less into a scar it must have damaged some important part of the leg so that it was still not able to endure the tiger and its speed at the same time. Overcome by his curiosity and the surety that the tiger was not in a condition to attack, Nari stayed back to hear the story of the tiger.9

“My Lord, You must have fought quite a battle!” said Nari to Puli once the tiger had regained some of his esteem. To his horror, the tiger seemed to redden on hearing his remarks.10

“Yeah, A battle for my life! And I am still alive to hear a skinny little fox teasing me!” He glowered at the jackal.11

It took a long session of cajoling and praising and pitying for Nari to learn the story of Puli's encounter with the bulls. Nari felt a deep sense of pity for Puli and an equal sense of anger towards the bulls for treating a carnivore this way. Since jackals were not very good at hunting, Nari had a respect for great hunters. He had always thought of tigers as brave and sensible beings which never came in the way of other carnivores unless in a situation like this. He could not bear to see Puli in this condition. So he decided to help Puli return to his illustrious hunting life.12

“My Lord, We shall show the bulls what carnivores are made of. Gather your strengths my Lord. Start hunting small animals. Get ready to take your revenge on the bulls. This time, I shall see to it that the bulls stay what they are- just bulls. I shall show myself to you only when the bulls are mere bulls. Till then, just bring yourself back my Lord.” saying this Nari took leave.13

Puli sat there dumbstruck with Nari's performance. Never had he thought he shall see such an emotion from a jackal, that too for his cause. He felt immensely grateful to Nari. He had not tried to hunt any animal in the past week presuming he could never hunt with this leg. Now Nari's words had made something in him come alive. There was a sudden fire in his eyes. He felt sure that Nari would do what he said and he himself had to keep his word on his part of the deal. So Puli started doing what he had been doing best. He started hunting. 14

--15

Kalai was busy eating a fresh patch of grass when he heard a rustle behind him. Immediately he became alert and before even turning back to see what the rustle was about he looked up and assured himself of the presence of his three friends. Then he casually turned back with a savage ecstasy. He had no need to fear this jungle. The intruder had to fear; for its life. If it were a herbivore, a brief display of his horns would suffice. If it were a carnivore, the display would have to be a little longer. He had had some doubts as to the team's ability, until a week ago. The Tiger was the jungle's food chain topper. So making the tiger run for his life had made the team invincible. Now it seemed it was time for another performance. 16

“Whoa! No need for all that guys. I just came in search of a quick meal, not quick death.” cried out Nari at the looming bulls. He had to be careful in this company. The mere sight of those deadly horns troubled him and brought Puli to his mind. “Can I even dream of attacking you and live to talk about it, that too with Erudu the great? I just came in search of an easy meal.” Nari said with astuteness. Erudu ‘the Great’ was instantly proud. But before he had a chance at being modest Kalai cut in.17

“What do you mean ‘Great Erudu’? How do I seem; a coward?” These words of Kalai's filled Nari’s ears with delight. He had done what he had calculated as the beginning of the end of the ‘Bull Supremacy’. Now all he had to do was to fan this spark a little more so that the other bulls might catch it.18

“No, no! I meant nothing of the sort! I just expressed what other animals think. Naturally Erudu looks aggressive and powerful. After that attack on Puli, he’s ever so popular.”19

Erudu visibly beamed. He had always thought of himself as the superior one among the four and Nari's words had confirmed his belief.20

Kalai visibly reddened. Ever since he missed to deliver the final blow to Puli, the one which Puli evaded by jumping past Maadu, he was as furious at himself as he was at Maadu for letting Puli go. So, he was a little harsher when he cut through the silent celebration of Erudu.21

"Great Erudu, my horns! I would've killed that puny little Puli with a single swipe, if only Maadu was not so stupid as to let him get away!"22

"Hey, who do you call stupid?", Maadu joined in. "Going by his looks, I never thought he could be that fast, or come to think of it, you'd be that dumb slow either!"23

Kalai was on the verge of explosion. His hot breath kicked up dust while his fore foot seemed to be digging the grave for Maadu. It took supreme effort for him to control himself. When he talked, it was as tensed as a fully stretched rubber band, which of course, he didn't know anything about.24

"So, I was dumb? For your information, I had to keep an eye on this shaky little Erumai, for he looked close to passing out. I also had to poise myself for that death blow. With all this in my mind, all I expected of you was to safeguard one wounded tiger and all I get from you is a bunch of lame excuses! Unbeleiveable!"25

"Whoa, whoa! Hold it right there! Who, may I know, was fainting?" This time, it was the till-now-silent Erumai. From the day he had let his gang see him shiver, he had vowed never to make his presence felt till he made up for his cowardly act, but this was simply too insulting to be silent. 26

"I was surprised and a little startled, but certainly not 'close to passing out' as you say. You can't even connect a blow with a wounded tiger and you expect to find your way out by blaming others? Shame on you!"27

"Peace, my fellow gangsters!", Erudu intervened, determined to assert himself. "Till today, this team has been the strongest, most feared group of animals in this entire forest. While I'm still alive, I shall never let it deteriorate, not while I'm leading this group!"28

"Wait a minute!"29

"You're leading the group?!"30

"What did you just say?"31

The voices of the rest of the bulls rose in unison, producing a cacophony signaling mutiny. Nari, satisfied with himself that he had achieved what he came for, backed away silently, confidently and for the first time, unafraid of the bulls.32

--33

Puli was strolling. He looked very different now, with a pair of fierce eyes, and with four strong legs, none of which showed any signs of weakness at all. The past weeks had been very trying. He had been hunting for the whole month, whether he felt hungry or not. He had been tending to his leg like he had never done before, and during the course, he had invented a lot of new techniques that made him deadlier and deadlier with less and less effort. 34

When Nari finally made his appearance, he was amazed, if not dumbstruck at the majestic sight he held in his view. Fear and respect oozed through his heart as he saw this mighty beast, that was no more a pity to look at. It was with enormous pride that he uttered these words:35

“My King! The stage is finally set!”36

Puli’s eyes flashed with such a power that Nari found himself, legs shivering, struggling to even stand. Then the expression of Puli’s eyes turned from malevolence into something entirely different– gratitude. When he spoke, it was nothing short of a rumbling thunder.37

“Nari, my friend! You’ve made me what I am. You’ve showed me what I can be. Thank you my friend! No! You’ve been more than a friend to me. Thank you, my brother! It’s now time for some payback, some lesson, and a mighty feast. Come and have your heartful. See you there, my brother!” With this and a mighty leap, Puli headed towards the bulls.38

--39

The bulls were grazing and looked the same as they were a month ago, but if you look closer, you could spot some subtle difference. The bulls, although grazing in the same area, were not looking after the backs of their gang mates. In fact, there even seemed to be no gang at all. The bulls were what Nari had promised them to be– just bulls. So when a thunderous roar, a roar so fearsome that it seemed to come from everywhere, a roar so powerful that it was more felt than heard, swept the grazing field, the bulls were more than a little shaken. Realizing their loneliness, each bull looked nervously around himself, not wanting to show fear, embracing themselves nervously for Death to show himself.40

With his coal black eyes fiery, his silky yellow skin gleaming in the sunlight, his ears drawn back, and his claws brought forward, Puli pounced.41

Author notes

My try at retelling a story that was told to me when I was learning to spell words. I'd thought of making it like a children's story, but veered largely away from the path and ended up producing this. For those of you who don't understand the moral:
"Unity is Strength"

Thank you Toni and Lav, for making me write again

Thank you Toni and Taliesa, for making this better.

A contest entry

Anything is appreciated!!!

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • This is really interesting!! Its a great idea!! Its cool!!! Great Job!!
    Thank you so much for entering!!
    Souls!!


  • GrimDeath
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    Very good. The details and Visual were very strong. Great Job! Thank you for entering my contest and Good Luck!
    -Grim


  • Taliesa silver member
    February 15

    Edit | Reply

    A good tale, well told

    This is a good story with all the elements of a short story. It was well told and interesting to read. I would change the title, because it is too much like the movie title "Raging Bull" Aside from that, I've made some suggestions of grammar and style:

    p3 add comma after location & delete "and", then you won't have to make the verbs parallel; del "the place";

    p4 chg"his" to "this" after performed; don't repeat phrase from first paragraph "towering menacingly above him"

    p5 chg "The bull nearest to him" to "The nearest bull" or, to add variety, "the nearest of these beasts"

    p7 should be "carcass being savored by" or "found a jackal savoring..."

    p12 "anger toward the bulls" not "on"

    p16 chg "Whatever animal...""crossed their path"or "entered their circle had to fear for its life" (no semicolon)

    p22 "so stupid as to let him..."

    p35 delete "which it was just a month ago" this is info you've already given



    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.


    • Kirin
      February 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Taliesa!
      On my way to make the changes. Thanks for making it better


      • Taliesa silver member
        February 18
        Edit | Reply

        You're welcome

        Glad to help. Keep on writing, you know how to tell a story.


  • Cadburry melted
    February 14

    Edit | Reply
    i never read an animal story but i really like this one. i don't think i could write an animal story though. i really like this. i'm glad that the tiger regained his pride and strength that jackal was well. really nice strangely.


  • Owen Aero
    February 4

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    Great characterization, with a good style that allows the reader to easily visualize everything.


  • Guey2
    February 4
    Edit | Reply
    how can i phrase this exactly i liked the personality of the characters. how each one had its own pride and ego. The characters pulled me in so deeply that i started veiwing the circumstances subjectivly sympathizing with the predators. The characterization is really strong and the themes are clear and present. This was well done.

    plot: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • Kirin
      February 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for liking the story Glad that I could make you sympathize with the predators. I always hated this 'carnivores-villain, herbivore-hero' concept. Thanks again for the applause


  • tonialoise
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, usually I root for the herbivores when they can gang up on a carnivore but I like how Nari was able to turn them against each other. Plus it was surprising that he would help Puli after the tiger took his meal, so I found that quite refreshing.


    Ok, so I hope you don't think I'm ripping this apart too badly, I'm just in my editing mode today and you're getting the blunt of it.

    "He had" is repeated a lot. The thing about this is it is very passive. It doesn't put the reader into the action. Yes all you're writing about at first is in the past but it can still be active. For the most part you could remove the word "had" from a lot of your sentences and it will work much better. "He hunted all through is life" and "He followed his usual tactic" makes him sound stronger and he is still hunting at the moment, even if he doesn't have the upper hand.

    p3 should be "send the animals scattering" and "made the sound as though it came"

    p4. You might want to seperate the second sentence into several to avoid using "and" a lot in one sentence.

    "around him to saw " s/b see

    p10 separate the paragraph so each speaker has their own, it makes it easier to know who's talking

    p15 "turning back to see what the rustle was about he turned around" try a different verb than turned because how it is makes it sound like he did turn back though I think you mean he looked in another direction.

    "had to fear, for its life." I'm not sure about the comma here if you want it separated then I think it should be a semicolon.

    "an herbivore" technically it should be "a herbivore" in writing it is correct to only use "an" with nouns starting with a vowel. What we use in speech is a different story.

    "Tiger was the jungle's food chain topper. " should be either plural "Tigers are" or have an article (A/The) before tiger.

    p16 "to being modest Kalai" s/b "at being modest..."

    p17 "How do I seem, a coward?" definitely should be a semicolon here.

    "These words of Kalai filled " s/b Kalai's

    p18 "he’s ever so popular”." period should be inside the quote.

    p20 "as furious on himself as he was on Maadu" both "on" s/b "at"

    p25 "was fainting?"." remove the period.

    p26 "out by pulling others' leg?" first leg should be plural here, second I'm confused on your usage of the phrase. It usually means that one is joking, but I'm not sure that's what you want here.

    p33 "lesser and lesser effort." s/b "less and less"

    p37 "my brother!”." remove the period.

    p39 "after the back of their gang " s/b backs


    aww... all that hard work you put into this and I'm giving you more work.

    It's a wonderful story though and a good lesson. I liked the ending, very cinematic. I'm glad you did finally share this with us.

    • Kirin
      February 4
      Edit | Reply
      WOW!!! You know, this is by far my longest story and yours is by far the longest comment I've received!!

      Glad I could make you like the predators for once
      Well, I sure am not complaining you for your 'editing mode'. In fact, I'm glad that you were kind enough to bear with so many mistakes and point them out to me too. I'm sure that my story's gonna read a lot better after I correct these errors so, I don't think you've ripped the story apart at all On my way to improving my story... *starts gathering individual shreds of the story and tries putting them together...Sigh...*

      Thanks toni, for being such a big help and thank you for making me write again.
      Glad you liked it!! Keep ripping !!


  • lavanya
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    Bravo! Mani...i will definitly tell this story to my kids ...once again very Indian stuff, though it was difficult to read name ...not very difficult but i pronounce names after having their meanings , its wierd hobby but ..i'm helpless....story is too good and i'm sure my kids will sleep inbetween cause it has good length too..kidding....well done Ruskin bond..keep writting..

    • Kirin
      February 3
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Lav, for liking the story
      The names are actually the Tamil counterparts for the English words:
      Puli(pronounced somewhat like pulley)= Tiger.
      Nari(pronounced like hurry)= Jackal.
      Erudu(pronounced er-oo-doo),
      Kalai(Kaa-lie),
      Maadu(maa-doo),
      erumai(er-oo-my), all mean 'bull' in Tamil.

      Well, that's what bedtime stories are for, right, for putting kids into bed hehe...

      Thanks again, for encouraging me to write

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