Green, Beautiful and everything that was naturally made. All three described the meadow. No vandalism, electronics or pollution ruined the beauty of the meadow. It was one of the most earthly peaceful, tranquil places on earth. A path wound it's way through the freshly mown grass leading to nowhere, forever and on. Tall trees where grouped all over the vast meadow, in no mean. Millions of yellow buttercups grew on the grass area, making the grass a green and yellow tint. Far in the distance was a large river, like the path it winded its way to no destination, on an endless journey. Smells of earth and flowers filled the air, not strong smelling more subtle as if it was a calming background smell. This made you enjoy the meadow much more. It was so quiet with the occasional twerp of a bird high in the tree tops, the meadow was far different from any city.1
No loud honking from traffic, angry people shouting, the chatter of people as they push there way to where they mean to go. The meadow was completely different in every way to a city in New York or London. It was simply impossible to imaging the meadow full of tall ugly buildings, a horrible gas smell constantly in the air and the loud constant chatter all around you that made no sense no matter how hard you listened. To really appreciate the meaning of the meadow you had to take your shoes and socks of to feel the cool spikey grass beneath your feet, and the brush of mud underneath your toes. You have to take of your coat and jacket to properly feel the suns rays on your arms. Because the sun is always out in the meadow.
Author notes
Please please be nice in the comments, tell me if you liked it and if i should carry on with this sort of writing.
Just wanted to say i don't mind it if you put in some of the mistakes i made or what i could change about it, in a comment.
I don't normally do the whole describing places thing, but i really wanted to try that sort of writing, please could you tell me how i did?
Comments
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Absolutely perfect how you describe a meadow. You can surprise yourself how a meadow may not be what it seems! I'd love you to continue this type of writing although not suited for short stories, it will take up too much. I believe you have the talent to write poems with your amazing word choice.
There is an error in the story:
"..path wound it's way through..." It's 'its'. Does the sentence make sense if you substitute it for it is? If it doesn't then it isn't 'it's'
beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 1, ending: 4, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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You did very well indeed.
The description of the meadow is wonderfully expressed and the images you created of the solitude and peace in the meadow gave me a sense of blissful harmony and peace. To compare the quiet meadow to the brash noise and pollution of the city was a great idea.
The only thing I wasn't too happy with is the fact it is one long paragraph. It may look better and be easier to read if the paragraph was broken up into two or three shorter ones. Other than that, this was a delightful descriptive piece of writing.
I have a few minor changes you may well wish to make to this fine piece of work. I have listed them in the same order as they appear in the writing to make it easier for you to find them.
tranquillity - change to - tranquil
winded - change to - wound
large river - add comma after river
winded - change to - wound
strong smelling - add comma after smelling
Which - change to - This
imaging - change to - imagine
fell - change to - feel
Thes little mistakes take nothing away froma very good, descriptive poece of wonderful writing.
Very well done
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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