The Mouse in Your House

Hey! Hey you! Yes you, with the funny hair. Oh don't look around. Why does everyone do that? I'm right in front of you. No, look down. Farther....YES! See? ME!1

Oh come on don't run away. I hate it when people do this. I'm not scary....I'm just a mouse! I don't get why everyone seems so afraid of me. Come on, please come back? I'll give you a cookie....There we go, thought that would get you. Can you hear me? No? Well I'm talking as loud as I can. See, I just wanted to talk to you about your latest pet. 2

Your dog and I have been talking and we say that the cat has to go. Yeah yeah bet you didn't know I had allies in this house but I do. Your cat however...well she thinks it's her godgiven right to hunt me. I don't. It's not fair! I've been in this house longer, I should be more of a member of the family than that fluffy thing. 3

See, I know she's a kitten, but she's already started sniffing me out. I don't like that. Oh come on don't walk away. What I have to say is important. And your dog agrees with me! He doesn't like feeling second best around here! He was your baby before the fluffy little angel ever came along and now he feels replaced. Sure he can't run as fast anymore, but he still likes to be taken out on walks, and he adores curling up at your feet. See, he'd tell you this himself, but he has a bit of a sore throat. So come on pal, what do you say?4

Hey, what are you doing? Walking away from me again? Come on, even if I'm a mouse I still deserve some respect! The phone? Why do you need the phone. Come on, I'm not done talking. Your dog and I wrote up a list of demands and--HEY! STOP THAT! I can hear you! You're calling an exterminator! Christine how could you? After everything we've been through? Well you know what? This is the final straw. I'm moving out! Yeah you hear me? Moving out! 5

I thought I was part of the family but I guess I was wrong. Stupid girl. Yeah we had something special going but you're throwing it all away. Basing your ideas about me on stereotypes. Well maybe I don't want you anymore! So you know what? This is the end. Goodbye!6

Oh shit. The cat!!!!!!!!!!!!