His arms curl around her slim body like they belong there and his gaze snatches mine with a smirk; his head ducks silently to kiss her lips; his mouth whispers the words he once spoke to me, "I love you" and I drown in a million tears of abrupt jealousy.
Author notes
I'm from good old New Hampshire!
Yep, another jealousy piece...I've been feeling it a lot and all the things in here actually happened. Good times, right? 
In a list
A contest entry
- Another sentence contest by TNTrouble.
1800 points, ended February 3, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Huh, forgive me for saying it didn't sound much like real love up there. o__o This scenario in real life sounds like something they'd have in high school, puppy love. You Love someone one day, and then all of a sudden you are over them and Loving someone else...what happened to it being everlasting?
Powerful sentence though. Brilliantly done.
- HT -
Nice...
Seems as if he's trying to make you jealous. I would be pissed if someone did that to me.
I like the ending part, 'his mouth whispers the words he once spoke to me, "I love you" and I drown in a million tears of abrupt jealousy.'
That's a brill last line...only if it was made into a larger story.(:
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wow i been feeling like that for a few weeks for a friend i really like and he his the most amazing person in my life his my best friend and i been really jealous lately actually since lasted week when he was hanging out with a girl and talking and just being him but when i see him with her i get really jealous for some reason i don't know why i just do.
Keep up the work. -
You did very well at capturing emotion with this sentence. Good luck in the contest, and with all of your writing.
Rian,
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Wow, amazing, Steph =D
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Hey, Good job.
I understand....i know what this feels like....unfortunately....
Good
M
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Very well done, a long and meaningful sentence quite full of emotion...and I do appreciate you following the rule about saying where you are from.
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Now wait
Yours is much better. It clearly displays the intense emotion that you had felt at that moment. Sadness, hatred, jealousy; All very good emotions to evoke in a person, in a piece like this. And you've clearly done so.
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