It’s been told that if someone takes earth from a land with him - doesn’t matter if it’s sand, clay, or another sort of earth - he takes a part of the land with him.
Bram Stoker’s famous Count Dracula never travelled without Transylvanian earth in his coffin, and I believe Nosferatu did the same. They thought they were still in their own land when they were resting in this earth.1
Why?2
Maybe in all earth is something from the land where it comes from.3
Why not?4
We bury our relatives in the earth and speak the words ‘Dust to Dust, Ashes to Ashes’, or we cremate them and we strew their ashes over the land.
Same as what’s been told about battlefields, crime scenes or the locations of accidents, the blood is never completely gonna be washed away.5
So when you pick up a handful of earth, who’s gonna say there’s not some of the ashes or blood of someone in it.
And when there are ashes or blood in it, there might be even more of the deceased person in the earth you’re holding in your hand.6
After you read the next story, don’t throw your tropical plants out of your house, because it may contain foreign sand. The only reason why you should remove a Yucca for example is when it’s making a squeaky sound. When it does, there might be a bird-spider in it. That’s just another story.7
Sand and clay is all around us, ceramic pots, bricks, concrete, with the plants as I told before, even glass is made of sand. Look around, there are many more examples. We cannot live without earth, we use it for making all kind of things, we build with it, children love to play with it, it’s a part of our existence, a part of our life.8
And maybe a part of the person whose ashes or blood is remaining in the earth…9
… She collected earth, sand, clay, any sorts of earth. Earth from all over the world. Sand from beaches and deserts, clay from riverbeds and mountains, it didn’t matter.
She collected it.
Earth from famous places, like the Great Chinese wall, the Red Square in front of the Kremlin, or Ground Zero in Manhattan New York.10
She collected it.11
Earth from unknown places, places where she never had heard of till she got the earth from family or friends, who brought it with them from their holidays. She needed a map, and the Internet for information about such a place. It didn’t matter.12
She collected it all.13
Other people collect stamps, coins, books or whatever. She collected earth.14
The earth she let it dry, put it in little bottles labelled with the name of the place where it came from and the date when she got it. In a book she wrote small details, short stories and sometimes photos from the ones who gave her the earth.
When she had the occasion she dropped the earth of a place on a white paper and looked at it through a magnifying glass. Then she admired the difference in materials, shapes, sizes and colours of it. If she had been an expert, she may have noticed something unusual in some sorts.
On the other hand, probably no one would have noticed anything. No one should have seen if there was something between the grains in one of the bottles.15
It started after she ordered the collection of little bottles in a new way.
She kept them in low transparent plastic boxes, which she placed in a rack next to a window of her bedroom.
Some bottles that were on top first were now on the bottom, out the reach of the daylight, others were now straight in the light. During the day when the sun turned, the top of the rack came directly into the sunlight.
That night when she went for her bed, she heard the tinkling sound of the bottles. It was almost rhythmical, as a well-known melody.
She paid no attention to it; probably she was the source herself.
Her bedroom had a wooden floor, and her movements made the rack and the bottles vibrate. And she had ordered the bottles today; some of them shoved to a more stable position.
She thought that was the reason.
The sound stopped soon after she lay in her bed and dimmed her light.16
She thought…17
…The next day, Sunday, it was warm; she better could close the curtains of her bedroom to keep the warmth a bit out the room.
It was in the afternoon; the bottles were bathing in the sunlight.
You could hear the tinkling sound again.
She didn’t notice it, the whole day she had a melody in her head and softly she hummed it.
It was the same rhythm as the tinkling of the bottles.
She walked in, closed the curtains and walked out again.
The tinkling continues after she left, a little softer, but it was still there.
When she stepped in her bed that night the sound was almost inaudible, she didn’t hear it.18
Monday morning, she got up early for work. She whistled the melody from the day before. Again it was a sunny day, only there was nobody in the house that could close the curtains.
At the end of the day the bottles in one of the plastic boxes were shaking so hard, when she arrived at home she heard it when she opened the door.
She recognised the melody.19
Coincidence? People hear what they wanna hear.20
The first thought was someone was in the house.
She shouted: “Who’s there? I’m gonna call the police.”
No answer, the sound continues. It frightens her a little, although she stepped in the direction of her bedroom. Carefully she opened the door and peeked in the room.
The room was empty; all her things were in the same place as when she left her room in the morning. She looked at the position where the tinkling came from, the rack.
The rack with her collection of sand and clay.
As she lay her hands on top of the bottles the tinkling decreases and suddenly it stopped.
First she could not explain what made the bottles shake to each other, or what made them stop.
Later she thought a heavy truck that passed the house and the expanding of the wooden floor by the warmth could be the source.21
She thought…22
…That evening - the melody was still teasing her mind - when she turned out the light in her bedroom, she saw a faint glowing coming from one of the little bottles.
A soft yellow green glowing.
Outside there was a full moon and this gave her the idea that the combination of phosphorus and crystal in a bottle made this possible.
Something like the crystal catches the moonlight, breaks the light and sends a part of it at the phosphorus, which absorbs the light and let the material glow. The glow returns to the crystal, which intensifies the glowing and makes it visible for our eyes.
It would be all a great coincidence, however it was not impossible.
From her view it looked a little spooky, a few minutes she watched it. For a moment it seems like it was a pulsating glowing, maybe little clouds crossing the moonlight.
She smiled - she didn’t believe in ghosts - and went to sleep.23
Hours later she woke up from the tinkling sound.
Now it made clearly a well-known melody:
‘Ting ting ting-ting, ting ting ting-ting, Ting ting ting-ting, ting ting ting-ting, Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting-ting…’
She catches herself she was singing with it, and perhaps she had been singing in her sleep too:
‘Come on baby, light my fire, Come on baby, light my fire, Try to set the night on fire…24
She gasped for her breath before she realises where she really was. She watched her room.
The glowing was stronger now, it filled almost the whole room and it was clearly pulsating.
It pulsed like a heartbeat, light, dark, light, dark.
She jumped out her bed - ghosts, no…she kept telling herself ghosts didn’t exist - opened her window, grabbed the glowing bottle - she felt the pulse in her hand - and throws it out her room.
A moment later she heard it break on the pavement, followed by a yellow green flash.
Several minutes she stood in front of her window, waiting.
Waiting for what?
She shrugged, closed the window and stepped back in her bed. A few minutes later she felt in a deep dreamless sleep.25
In the morning she went outside for removing the glass and sand on the pavement.
While she brushed it all together she picked up the little piece with the label.
On it was written:26
Cimetière Père-Lachaise, Paris, France. Division 6. Jim Morrison.27
28
Author notes
What can you do? contest - My cats name is Harley
A contest entry
- Horror + Fear by Asfand.
130 points, ended July 28, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Something Supernatural by AshleyAesthetic.
250 points, ended August 15, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything your heart desires! by CelesteSanford.
825 points, ends December 5, 182 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - The Five Elements: Earth by Valkyrie.
750 points, ended September 8, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - It's my birthday. Write me something dark!! by seasonsoflove.
100 points, ended November 24, 29 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Mystery Short Shories by ForTheLoveOfBooks.
250 points, ended November 22, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Songs and Stories! ~ Checkeredglasses by checkeredglasses.
325 points, ends November 29, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Firstly, thank you for entering.
Great job on this piece. It was a unique plot. It was really confusing to me around the middle and end.
There were mistakes that made me pause a lot and look them over a few times.
All in all great job.
Thanks.
Good job.
Good luck.
~Alex -
There were quite a few mistakes that distracted me a bit.
I like the concept of sand holding a persons essence.
Never thought of earth that way.
Very intriguing and an enjoyable read!
Thanks for entering and best of luck -
Interesting. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.
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This is supposed to be a scary story? Hmm. I'm not creeped out at all. I don't believe in ghosts, so I'm just like, oh cool, an interesting story. I like the idea of people seeping into the earth (although I categorize it as dark fantasy). Also, Morrison didn't burn to death, so his song choice didn't seem scary, but logical, as it's a well-known tune. Unless it's some reference to hell?
I think she should have sold that little bottle on e-Bay, dude. Whoo, with all the theories going around about Morrison maybe not being dead, etc etc, someone would have coughed up good cash for her dirt.
I liked the "maybe it's moonlight and phosphorus" part! That cracked me up! Very CSI:. Great job on the story, and thanks for entering.
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Nicely done, thanks for entering Element of surprise and good luck!
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What interesting idea. I never thought about earth in that way before. My potting soil is going to have to be pretty loud to be heard over my music though.
I liked the Jim Morrison part.
Thank you for entering my contest, Good Luck!
Th.
Here are a couple of things I thought you might like to know about.
#7 because it may content (contain) foreign
#8 We cannot (live) without earth
#14 If she had been an expert, she had maybe noticed something unusual in some sorts.
(she may have noticed something unusual)
On the other hand, probable (probably) no one should (would) have noticed.
#21 when she turned out the light in her bedroom, that (take out - that) she saw a faint glowing
There are others and but with a little polish I think this would shine. -
Amazing:D
Meaningful, wonderfully written.
I love the chosen title.
I am truly amazed at your story.
You are a fantastic writer and I love the way you described certain things.
All together great job.
Good luck with the contest. x
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Great!
I liked the thoughts in the begginning, it made me really think. You never know what happened where you're standing x amount of years ago. The fact that this woman collected earth was a beautiful thought. Thinking of bottle after bottle in a place with light shining through the windows was a beautiful thought you put down on paper very well.
I have to say your tense is a little odd. On and off you have present tense, then past tense, when it should be continueously one tense, present or past. (only when someone is talking can it change). Savvy?? Otherwise the ghost in the bottle was very original, but I couldn't understand the last part. Someone was dead, that's all we know. Anyway, good read and good luck with the contest!
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Cimetière Père-Lachaise, Paris, France. Division 6. Jim Morrison.
This was written on the label of the little bottle, it says:
Cemetery Père-Lachaise, Paris, France (name and location of the cemetery). Division 6 (location of the grave). Jim Morrison (lead sanger of the famous group the Doors).
Jim Morrison is buried in paris, his grave still attracts every year many fans and tourists.
The Doors were famous before your birth. Hope I explained it enough for you.
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Whoa I am blown away. Thats very original and very creepy, and I like the logic it contains. This is going straight to the finalist list.
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Wow creepy! Great job. I really liked the idea of it.
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Love, love, love your concept. Very psychologically terrifying. I think the whole idea is unique and very engaging. HOWEVER, I believe this piece in particular does not do the story justice. For my personal taste, I would love more clarity in the suspense. Perhaps you could chang and straighten out the format, add more detail, give more characterization etc. Anyway, still - an excellent plot ad gdoo job!
Thanks for entering! Good luck!
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THat was pretty good,I liked it. It caught my attention, but wasn't as suspensful as i was hoping. I really did enjoy it though, and it was very creative! Nicely done and thx 4 entering my contest!
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Cool! Nice job!
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I am really glad you entred this contest. I think this story will have some promicing results when i go through them all one final time before judging them.
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The story has a great plot, but there are a lot of grammatical errors. There are also some places where the sentences are a little too abrupt, so it makes the whole paragraph sound a little weird. Still, it's a good story. Thank you for entering!
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wow kwl
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Cool story! If stories could be Psychedelic, This would be one of them. This is also a strange story, it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. But interesting none the less.
Thanks for entering.
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This is a wonderful piece. It could use some polishing but it seems to have alot of potential. Well done!
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#5 crime scenery's should be crime scenes
gonna washed away...maybe gonna be washed away?
#6 your holding should be you're holding
#7 tropical plans out [of] your house.
#8 we can't without earth, left out a word?
children love to play
it's part of our existence
# 12 places she never had heard from...maybe heard of?
admired the difference in materials
some of them shove in its box to a steadier position
sentence does not make sense.
she better could close the curtains of her bedroom, for keeping the warmth a little out of the room
I don't understand this sentence.
This is a really interesting story idea. I really think you need to take the time to edit it and make it perfect. I love the idea of different earth soils having different properties, and even bits of life.
great idea
Trish
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i think it would be better if you started the beginning in story form. It would be more entertaining. Overall pretty good. I liked the whole thing about earth! It was a bit confuzing because we didn't know who she or what her background was. The story wavered from past to present tense a couple of times. and i noticed a few gramatical errors.
GOOD LUCK!
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Thank you for participating in my contest. I liked the ending, but the beginning bored me. You could have explained that part through your story, not by telling it to the readers little by little. Altogether a well written piece, but still, you should polish up a bit. Good potential though.
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Eh...I don't know...
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Interesting read. I enjoyed your descriptions. I did notice some punctuation/grammatical errors, but overall good work. Thanks for entering the contest
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A very insightful and well-written piece. I thoroughly enjoyed the beginning of it, and wished the entirety would continue on like the beginning. It wasn't any less deep as it went on, however, and I did enjoy it. You should double-check for errors, though. There was some slang in there, that seemed to distort the voice of the story. And here and there I spotted a missing word. Spell-checking certainly doesn't catch every error.
Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!
~Sparrow -
Huh, that was pretty cool! The beginning was very... transendentalistic and I liked it.
Thanks for entering the contest, the best of luck to you!
H.P. -
Interesting idea, though it felt rather vague in places. Presentation could use some polishing up (spotted some spelling/grammar issues, and some slang used by the omniscient narrator that seemed out of keeping with the rest of the voice). You've a good idea here, and I think this could be expanded and tweaked a bit - feels like there's more that you could get out of the concept I did enjoy the description of the earth, and all the various things it can contain. A decent read all in all, it just didn't particularly stand out to me.
Thank you for entering, and good luck with the contest. -
This was actually really good but I don't understand how it fits into the terms of my contest.
There are a few grammar mistakes but spelling is great.
I liked how the sand was glowing and it made her think twice about what she believed in.
I will still consider it for my contest but it wasn't really what I was looking for. -
Very interesting concept for this story. I liked the beginning it was informative with out being boring. I liked the glowing sand part. Good Job! Thank you for entering my contest and Good Luck!
-Grim -
Aah, it was from the grave of Jim Morrison, cool! This was really interesting. Now I'll think twice before collecting dirt, could be a spirit of a cool, dead rockstar, or maybe that's not so bad at all.
Well done. (:
Good luck in my contest. (: -
hm...
thank-you for your entry, i will be reviewing the finalists momentarily! -
this is a earth story you must really be close to nature to write something like this. I wonder why everyone on this site is such a good writer but they write things no body wants to publish. Stuff like this should be praised.
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