Loves Enchantment

Deep in the dark forest of Hybotharis, there lived an evil magician known as Traunana. He was a shape shifter, and possessed the greatest power of all- being heartless. He did not care who or what he destroyed, when or why. He merely stood their laughing his revoltingly piercing sound. It is told that he eats the heart of an animal that is in love with a human, and eats the human’s heart too. Eating the heart enables him to shape shift into the animals form. Though although people fear him across the wide lands of the earth, he has not appeared for years.1

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The howling wind breathes in and out of my mind. How much longer can I wait? The glare from the fire has died down, but the heat still mops about in the room. Lily lies down by my side, her body still shaking from the electric charge in the air. She fears lighting, but it’s the smoky mist that comes after the rain that scares me. My orange fur wet and static with anxiety leaves drops of wet fear as I walk in circles. Radley will come home. I know he will. He goes out mostly in the night now, returning with his golden hair grayed by the wind. He probably returns because he’s tired. I know he does not return to see me, yet still I long so badly for him to recognize me as something more than just a cat. Why am I thinking such thoughts again? My eyes slowly close, just out of habit when I am worried. 3

I hear a deep crashing on the door. I knew he would return!! But Radley it is not, for a dark tall man steps into the fire glazed room. Immediately all heat escapes, and a deep frost paints the walls. The man’s eyes are as red as the once burning fire, his skin a pasty gray. ‘So this is Riona, the cat who loves the man. How pathetic!’ he spat as he said those words, his piercing eyes never leaving mine. I close my eyes in pain from those words, how does this man know? He twists his middle finger around twice, a huge beam of light coming out of his finger. I suddenly find myself in a dust covered sack full of murky green lights, leaving Lilly shaking near the corner. I am struggling to breathe and now I know this man is a magician. The sack lifts off the ground, and claws hold the top of it, as I lift into the air. The man’s a shape shifter. This man is the evil Traunana. 4

All hope escapes from the chest, for somewhere out there Radley is all alone, and Traunana is going to eat his heart. Suddenly I have lost my perception of awareness. I look down to see my body, so different from before. It’s so plain, so hairless. It’s covered in thick dew, so heavy its almost forcing me to the ground. Am I like Radley now? My legs are long and lean, so like his, only quite different. I look down to my chest, and horror strikes again. My chest is open, a silver box beating as my heart should. The blood has dried up near the wound, but the pain burns like smoke in your eyes. If my heart is gone, then so will Radley’s, and we will both die. 5

The doomed forest surrounds me, like a cold midnight blanket. The spiky leaves creating a doomed maze for me. The bushes shake wildly, and a small path appears. Is this real? Confusion moves about in my mind. I know I’m just a cat, but my instincts say to follow the path, so I will. I keep walking down the long path; the twigs and countless stones leave scars in the clawless feet. This body has many weaknesses. How foolish of me to imagine being a human, in Radley’s arms. How selfish. The night air sweeps past me, it’s so cold without my fur. I rest in the sharp path, trapped in hopelessness. 6

My eyes shut again, fear consuming me whole. But a deep green haze surrounds me. The transforming dust from the sack! I quickly leap up and follow the fog, the endless maze of love. The darkness creeps in all corners, but I ignore it. I hear gargling sounds, from Radley. He lies all alone in this small path. His eyes are wide with pain, yet he does not breathe. Only thick liquid escapes from him. His beautiful pale skin becomes scruffy, black and white fur pounds out of every place. His body slowly metamorphosis’s into a cat. My heart weeps in its chamber, we switch places. We will never be together. 7

He knows who I am; I see it in his crystal blue eyes. Right then and there, in the middle of a bladed maze, the transformation is complete. His chest is also open, a pounding silver box slowing down. I lean on him, my own beating box slowly stopping. Traunana steps into the blood soaked circle of sadness, and laughs. He stands there with a look of pure happiness on his face, as he strides off into the distance. Radley looks up at me, his eyes full of torment. Now I know he loves me too, all my lives hopes and dreams came to this horrid ending. All my selfish longing, all my childish wanting. Look where we are now? I try to say how I feel, even though he knows. I long for his soft voice. I long for life with him. Yet we lie here in hopeless dreams shattered by a heartless beast. 8

The dark air suddenly becomes clearer, every sound the forest makes as it breathes in and out, just reminds me of my love for him. The deep throbbing in our chests is love we feel. He understands as well. Our eyes connect in the deep field, even through the night’s darkness, we find light in each others. Our eyes connect one last time. And then shut.9

Forever more. 10

Author notes

Choice 9: Animal Story. Write a story that uses personification. Talking cats, empire-ruling hyenas, and similar things. Any animal(s) will do.
3] The name Riona (female) or Radley (male).

also, i know it is meant to be 1000 words, and for some reason it says here its only 900,but on Microsoft word it is 1021 words.

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Comments


  • WantedxXxMe
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    wow very good write, great imagery. well detailed. i hope to read more stories like this from you


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    P1 '...stood (there) laughing...' Also this line is awkward. Maybe something like this '...there laughing revoltingly.' leaving out the 'his' and 'piercing sound.'
    '...the animal(')s form.' What does eating the human's heart do for Traunana?

    'The howling wind breathes in and out of my mind.' LOVE this line.

    P2 '...fears light(en)ing.'
    'My orange fur wet and static with anxiety leaves drops of wet fear as I walk in circles.' This line doesn't make any sense to me and I can help fix it. Sorry.
    Also I would start a new paragraph at 'Radley will come home.'

    '...a deep frost paints the walls.' Another great description.

    New paragraph at "So this is Riona,...'

    New paragraph at 'He twists his middle...'

    P4 '...from (my) chest,...'

    Very nicely done. Just a couple of minor typos and such
    Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering.
    Brooke

  • You sure can tell an awesome tale.
    I am overtaken by WOW!!!!
    Miki, did I read that right? You are 15? Where are all of these super talented teens coming from? This is great!