*just think about it*

A couple years ago, something happened to my cousin Becca that no matter what anyone tells her, she still counsidered it to be her fault.1

Her dad used to beat and yell at her everytime any little thing went wrong, whether it was her fault or not, that's how he got rid of his anger. This wasn't right at all, but it's how Becca grew up. Her father would take out his anger on her, and in turn, she would find a unsespecting pillow or doll to take out her anger and pain that her father had handed out to her. As she got older, the pain she recieved begin to become more painful and the anger built up more and more. She began not to have the conttrol over herself and her anger anymore. She would yell and hit her friends, though they hadn't done anything wrong. She would call people up and yell at them for the stupidest things, just because she was too afraid to yell at her own father in fear that she would be hit. She didn't think of how it made the people she screamed and hit feel, only that a little bit of her pain was gone.2

When she was 16 she had a wonderful boyfriend, Dylan, who hadn't the slightest clue of the abuse Becca took from her father, and how she took it out on others. But he loved her with all his heart and never dreamed up hurting her, or that maybe, anyone else did either. Becca, on the other hand, didn't know that Dylan had depression problems. The dark and painful things in their lives, they didn't share with each other.3

One night, Becca was beaten and yelled at by her dad so much that she could barly walk. She had to limp away, not being able to see out of one eye and holding her limp arm to her stomach. Her dad was yelling at her for something she hadn't done, and when she tried to explain that she hadn't done anything, he would hit her hard and sometimes even kick her. She was hurt really bad and the pain was incredible, but it couldn't measure up to the still building anger. She limped into her room and through her basketball trophy into the wall, creating a huge hole. At that moment, Dylan called.4

"Hey Boo" he said5

"WHAT DO YOU WANT" she yelled, crying6

"Are you alright?" Dylan asked in a caring voice7

"WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING NOSEY! GOD! I HATE YOU" She yelled8

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything wrong, I.."9

"I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU!!! EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU, DOESN'T IT DYLAN, HOW COME IT CAN'T EVER BE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE??!??!? GOD, WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING SELFISH!!! WHY AM I EVEN GOING OUT WITH YOU??"then she hung up!10

Dylan sat there, crying, for a long time. Then said in a voice so low that his mother could barly make out, "I'm going on a walk" and slumped out the door.11

As he was crossing a street, about a mile or so away from his house, he tripped on a rock on the cross-walk. He fell flat on his face and for some reason didn't get up. He just laid there, on the cold pavement. He was crying so loud, he couldn't hear a truck coming down the road. The driver was drunk and didn't see Dylan. He just barrled down the road at 90 MPH. Dylan looked up just as the truck hit him. The driver didn't even notice and kept going.12

The next morning, Dylan's mother reported that he was missing. When the police finally found him, they saw a note, under his limp arm, it read,13

Dear Becca,14

I have no idea what I did, but oviously it must have been terrible. I'm so sorry. I hope that you will sometime forgive me. But now, I am leaving. I see no future for me here. You were the only thing that kept me going and now you've left. I love you and always will,15

Dylan16

beside that, was another note17

Mother, 18

I'm sorry to leave you this way, but it's the only way I can get what needs to be done, done. I know you don't know why I'm doing this. You should have stayed sober after dad died, then maybe you would have seen that I go to a theropist for depression everyday after school and write depressing things everywhere. But It's alright now, Whereeveer i'm going, I'm sure I'll be happy. Just please, Don't get drunk anymore, Help yourself. I love you19

Dylan20

That was the last time anyone heard from him. suicide notes to the only people who he thought had kept him going, but then let him down21

Becareful what you say and who you take your anger out on, or the way you take your pain and anger out, how it may be affecting the people around you. Don't turn out like Becca, Dylan, or Dylan's mother.22