My Life Today

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I can't do this anymore. I just can't. It's a waste of time to even try. I feel worthless and I hate you for it. I hate that I have to watch you and your life move on, far away from me. I hate watching you and your new tattoo and you new finace and watching that bitch brag that she got your virginity. I hate it and me and you and all of this!3

Everyday is the same. I wake up. I look around trying to figure out if I am at my house or Angel's. Go to school find out you to got engaged. You got stoned and had Kyle tattoo Ashley's name in your arm. You gave her your virginity. I was going to give you mine until I found that out. I've realized I'll never be good enough for you. Pretend I'm happy for you. Secretly wish I was dead. Not so secretly attempt it. Take some morphine to make me forget. Go home and try not to let my parents notice my despair. I can't live around you. I can't live without you. You make me love you. You make me hate you. 4

Realize I'm just some joke you used to get rid of your pain and boredom. I've realized that I should never fall in love. I lean on my friend for support. She grants it at the risk of her pack. I gladly accept it and find where it goes from there.5

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So I fell in love. I've know realized that I never cared about you. I'm glad I didn't give you my virginity. You fooled me into believing lust was love. But anymore I found someone I adore. I gave him my heart, my body, my soul, and my being. ANd in return hes given me his. He's perfect in every which way. More than you ever were. He means more to me than you ever could. And now I realize I don't have to be good enough for someone who likes me as I am. I refuse to give him up. Not without a fight. 7

He is my everything. He is all that I am. Do I sound obsessed?8


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Dramas everywhere these days. I love you to death. I will never let you go. I've given you a part of me that I can give no one else. For once you given it once it's gone. And now that you are here you will always b a majority of me. Even if or when you leave. Without I am broken, shattered on the floor. I can't not see you. Everytime I close my eyes you are there. Everytime I fall asleep, you are there. May it only be the visual image of you, but I miss and need the physical contact and the emotional contact even more. Talking on the phone to you is becoming not enough. I know I promised I would never get obsessed. But you don't consider this obsession. I miss you more than I could ever miss anyone else. I love you with all my heart. You are my everything. Without you I am nothing. You are on my mind all the time. Is that healthy? Should I even ask that? All I know is I love you with all I could ever be.