Kayla tore her eyes away from the miracle with great effort. Instead her attention attempted to attach itself to the more normal flagstone floor. Bits of white china cups and plate spread out from the tray like an explosion frozen in time in front of her. It would probably be a good idea to pick it up. As she bent down, a familiar shadow blocked out the mid-day sun.1
“Let me help you with those.”2
The miracle man was standing in front of her. He smiled kindly, and Kayla absorbed it like a distracted sponge.3
“There’s a hole in your head.”4
He seemed to consider this.5
“I know” he replied eventually. “I…I may need to get it looked at.”6
He began to bend down but Kayla stopped him with a hand to the shoulder. The problem was that topics like this never came up enough in life to get enough experience for them in the future.7
“I think you shouldn’t be doing much in your…current condition” she tried, mentally patting herself on the back for her professional vocabulary.8
Again, he considered this for a moment before replying.9
“I think your right.”10
“And it may also be of your convenience if one of us…called an ambulance…?”11
Kayla could almost see the pattern of thought streaming through his head.12
“Yes, please.”13
It was now getting too weird. Either he went or she went.14
The man blinked and walked away. It was as if he’d read her mind. Shaking her head, she set about clearing up the explosion of crockery and walked away from the oggling eyes of the customers, also spread throughout the restaurant like some sort of explosion.15
Author notes
Probably the most irrelevant and unhinged passage you will read all day.
A contest entry
- A new start - A new story by Prodigious.Mirth.
350 points, ended January 31, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Funny and Random by Thorn-on-the-Rose.
175 points, ended July 22, 127 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I love your style of writing! The underlying humour is great! And your strange use of words such as, 'absorbed it like a distracted sponge', I love how this relates to the hole in his head as well. I didn't like the repetition of 'explosion' at the end though. Reading the comments I completely understand what you mean about writing prologues or shorter pieces of work as recently i've found it much easier to write flash fiction then try to begin a longer piece of writing.
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0.o
Was pretty strange.
I was more so wondering if you were actually going to be using this "Unhinged" passage to write a short story, novel ect or if you just entered it to showcase a story, passage that was not going to be in a story at all.
Either way it was an entertaining read !!!
Let me know your intentions
Blair
Thanks for entering my contest
Good luck with writing in o9
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It's a prologue. I write prologues mainly because it helps me to plan the rest of the story. This was the third version of it, and its becoming more and more obvious that this "prologue" will end up being set in the middle of the actual story.
I don't know if you've read any of my other pieces but I mainly write stories that focus more on the insane side of life.
I don't expect to get much for this piece because it sets the scene as much as a coconut sets the scene for Antartica. I'm just glad you enojyed it!
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