A Movie Couldn't Catch It Better

I stepped out of the car, light on my feet but heavy of heart. Everyone was already there; I was the last to arrive, the last to arrive to our departure. The friends that I had made over the last few months were standing around, holding bags of luggage and exchanging hugs with the others or with the families they had been staying with.1

I turned to my host family, four people whom I had grown to love as my own family during my stay. The gestured to me to go and say my good-byes to teachers and friends, we had had the whole morning together. I nodded to them, agreeing even though I saw the hesitation they had in letting me go, for I would only be coming back to them one more time before leaving for my home country.2

Despite this I leave them for a moment, and plunge into the crowd. My heart beats loudly in my chest as I weave through the crowd. He had to be here, he said he would be, he couldn't be that hard to find. Then I stopped, I had found him. 3

He turned, our eyes met, it took all the will in my body not to run to him at that moment. Calm in appearance, we walked toward each other, meeting half way. I paused in front of him and looked up to his head, nine inches above mine, and I'm pretty tall for a girl. I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened my mouth to speak. 4

But before I could get a word out he pulled me into a tight embrace. My body shook with a small sob, but I let no tears fall. After a moment we detached ourselves, reluctantly. I laughed, noting that the religious markings that my host family had put on my forehead had rubbed off a bit on his shirt.5

"You shouldn't wear white shirts around me," I said with a smile, reminding him of an event in our past where I had also been the cause of the spoiling of a good white shirt. 6

"You're so destructive," he said, brushing off the colored paste. 7

"Everyone on the bus!" called one of our directors. I glanced back, worried, there was not much time. We were going on the bus soon, to go home to our families and friends. But he wasn't going home for another six months, and even when he did eventually make it back to our country, he would be on the other side of it.8

He grabs my hand and looks into my eyes, probably noticing the little auburn mark in my right eye, a mark which he was the discoverer of. "Whenever I make my way to the east coast I'll be sure to hunt you down and snag you for awhile."9

I smile at the inside joke, "But I thought I was unsnaggable?"10

"Oh, you're snaggable," he laughs, pulling me close to him once again.11

I long to kiss him, and I can feel his longing for me as well. But in the presence of our host families, in a country where public displays of affection are almost illegal we restrain ourselves, but just barely. 12

"We're leaving in a minute!" they call again, building up the pressure of my few remaining moments. I leave him for second and say goodbye to my host family and my teachers. By now the tears I had attempted to restrain are flowing freely down my face. My host sister hands me a small package filled with all my favorite candies. I hug them one last time then make my way back to him; to the man of my dreams, whom I was about to leave for what could be forever.13

I grab his hand and put a folded up piece of paper in it. "Don't read this until I'm gone," I tell him. 14

"Okay," he agrees, pulling me into one last embrace. 15

"Jenna!" an angry voice yells from behind us, "On the bus!"16

I part from him, our embrace lingering, then I climb onto the bus. We didn't say goodbye. Words like that are useless for such moments, when goodbye is always imminent. As soon as I sit down I begin to sob freely. My other friends turn to comfort me but I brush them away. I turn to the window and strain to find him in the crowd. He's there, clutching my letter, and looking straight at me. I wave avidly, not stopping even when we're out of sight.17

I had only realized just then what I was driving away from. I had never felt feelings like this before, but watching him fade away in the distance had made me realize that they were real and true. I love him. And I may never get the chance to tell him.18