The best feeling is the colored lights flashing across my face, the beat of the bass drum behind me like a heartbeat, the soulful twanging of the strings beaneath my fingers, and the song exploding forth from my heart and my lungs, swirling around me and lifting my mind away over the roar of the crowd...
Author notes
For a contest- 'explain the most important thing in your life in one sentence'.
"It's sort of a feeling of power onstage. It's really the ability to make people smile, or just to turn them one way or another for that duration of time, and for it to have some effect later on. I don't really think it's power... it's the goodness."
~ Robert Plant
A contest entry
- One important sentence by TNTrouble.
4750 points, ended January 23, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Nice! Despite the only instrument I play being a tame piano, I can get exactly what you mean by this. It's euphoric, is the word you're looking for here.
Nice entry.
- HT -
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Grazie molto!
Euphoric is definitely the word for it...I like to call it my 'performance high'. :]
~ Zapuruxo
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The extra descriptions 'behind me like a heartbeat' 'soulful twanging' and such makes it a little long, thus making it a run-on sentence.
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The contest was to describe your favorite thing in life in one sentence, and I tend to ramble on about things in general, so yes, it is a bit tedious...what could I do to fix it?
Thanks for your input.
~ Zapuruxo -
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The best feeling is the colored lights flashing across my face, the beat of the bass drum behind me like a heartbeat, the soulful twanging of the strings beaneath my fingers, and the song exploding forth from my heart and my lungs, swirling around me and lifting my mind away over the roar of the crowd...
Is yours.
And my edits:
The best feeling is the colored lights flashing across my face, the beat of the bas drum, the twang of the strings beneath my fingers; the way the song explodes from my heart and lungs, lifting my mind away from the roar of the crowd.
It's just a suggestion. Really, it'd work if it were split up into several sentences, but I see what you were trying to do. : ) -
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I actually love the way you rephrased it, but am loathe to repost it as an edit for fear of infringing on your work.
And I agree, it would definitely work better as more than one sentence... Perhaps I will elaborate it into a short story and upload it under another title.
Thanks again. ^^
~ Zapuruxo -
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It's your piece. You're not infringing on my work, because you're the one who originally wrote it, haha.
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