~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every year, the seniors at my high school put on a talent show called Vaudeville. Everyone can audition, but seniors produce and direct it, and four seniors M.C. it, performing skits between each act to introduce the next act and carry on a narrative story making fun of the school and incorporating the theme, which is kept secret from the student body until the night of. This Vaudeville's theme was the Flintstones, and it was pretty standard fare - they were in high school, looking for their purpose and making a whole lot of barely-acceptable fun of everything in the school along the way. Betty, Barney, Wilma, and Fred made up a gender-balanced team of M.C.s...everything was going as planned.1
That is, until the drug dogs came and Wilma got suspended the week before the show. I had auditioned to be an M.C., but got passed up due to heavy prior obligations in the theatre department, so was stage managing instead. When Wilma got suspended, though, I was the only person willing/able to handle learning that much in that little time...so, I stepped into the role. 2
I was feeling the pressure. I'm very involved in the theatre department at our school - I was in eight of the ten shows while I was there, just missing the adv. classes' shows freshman year - so I felt like I had a lot to live up to, especially since we were collaborating with lots of underclassmen talent. I wanted to be professional, set a good example, so I got to work memorising everything as quickly as possible. By the next rehearsal, I had my part down as well as the other actors who'd had the script for a month, and I was feeling pretty good about the way things were going. I got measured to have the other girl's costume adjusted, and by the dress rehearsal, I was joking around with all of the actors and talent without a care in the world...it was going to be fine.3
Of course, being a high school show run by students, it wasn't fine at all. Things got jumbled the night of the dress-tech - the sound system was screwy, and mine and Betty's costumes were MIA - so we scheduled another rehearsal the day of to iron out the kinks. When my costume came, I discovered that the person making it had neglected to take two very important body parts into account, so I tracked down some masking tape in the shop and fought with my boobs until they stayed inside the very, very thin fabric of the halter top and weren't informing the world of the sub-zero backstage temperatures. We put the cordless mikes they'd rented on - I'd never worn one, we always acted in a black box, but Vaudeville fills our acoustically backwards auditorium - and waited for the run. While the M.C.s were waiting patiently for the run to start, setting an example, Betty and I were chatting about our dresses. 4
"Oh my goodness, my boobs are so uncomfortable right now. I had to..." and I explained the whole sorry tale, in detail, as we were friends. About the time I was finished, and we were laughing about it, one of the sound guys, red-faced, came back and informed me,5
"Um, Lusie, your mic is on. You're broadcasting to the auditiorium."6
Whoops. So much for good impressions!
7~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~8
http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/7546/n41115871349103884724bc1.jpg
I knew when I went to University that I'd just gone from being a shark in a puddle to a tiny fish in a very big pond, indeed, so I was shocked when I got a part I auditioned for on the second day of school. I was Nina in The Imaginators, part of the childrens' theatre series, and schools were bringing kids to see the show. One day was a complete and utter disaster. At one point in the show, when I'm fighting with another character, I throw down my magical hula-hoop. Unfortunately, there were so many kids that they were on carpet squares on the edge of the stage, and I took one out with my hula hoop. Then, as the monster tail came out to get me and pull me away (I had to run backstage backwards), I tripped over one of the puppeteers and involuntarily said, "Oh, fuck!"
We didn't get any complaints, so I'm hoping no one heard me.9
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~10
Just after that, I got cast as Imogene in a community theatre's production of the Best Christmas Pageant Ever. (Yes, I know I'm too old for that part, but I look young enough to pass.) It was a 100+ house that was full every night, so it was a great opportunity for me. At the end, the character undergoes a transformation, and has this huge emotional moment, sitting there in silence and crying, then the lights go out and she leaves the stage. Well, I had my big moment...and ran smack into the wall, knocking down all the props balanced on the back of it.
After the show, a guy came up and was like, "So, um, were you supposed to take out that wall?" Ha ha, sir. Ha ha.
Gold trophy winner
Adding your comment:
