Becoming Mom

1

From the moment I hear the shower running in her bathroom for the second time in a day, I know it’s not a good one.  Not a good day, not a good argument.  She trades in her running shoes for heels.  She puts on earrings.  She ices the cake I made for me and my brother.  She takes the cake and the car and leaves.  I call after her “You look nice.  Where are you going?”  Well maybe she doesn’t hear me.2

I stir the pot and watch the water and spaghetti noodles spin in circles.  I should probably learn to cook something else.  We’ve had spaghetti a lot lately.  3

The Simpsons are on in the living room.  My brother’s favourite show.  I come up behind and kiss him on the forehead.  “Do you have any homework?”  He shakes his head “A little bit.  But I need Mom’s help”.  I sigh and sit down beside him.  It’s the episode where Homer becomes part of this society and turns out to have this birth mark that makes him the master.  “Couldn’t you do your reading?”  This goes unanswered.4

When Dad gets home my brother is sitting at the kitchen table and I am getting his milk.  I smile and ask how his day has been.  “It was fine.  Where’s your mother?”  When I say she went out he doesn’t ask when she’ll be back.  I start to set the table in the dining room.  Dad likes to eat in the dining room.  I set four places.  Dad tells me to set only three.5

When my brother is in bed and Dad and I are watching television, Mom gets home.  She is all happy and flushed.  When she sees me her face gets red and she looks angry again.  I go upstairs.  I can hear her and my dad start to yell.  I turn up the music.  Then I see Dad at the door.  He’s angry again.  It’s my mother’s fault.  He tells me to turn off the computer, we need to talk.6

I come downstairs knowing exactly what I’ll find.  My parents stand across the kitchen looking accusingly at me.  “Were you on the phone while your mother was trying to get onto the internet?”  I hesitate momentarily before I nod.  I wait a couple minutes as they stare at me “I’m sorry, but I had just gotten on and I haven’t talked to Gen in ages…”  They continue to glower at me.  Finally Dad says “Your mother had to go to an important business meeting tonight.  Since you were on the phone she couldn’t print out some papers she needed.”  I don’t bother to mention that you don’t have to be on the internet to print things.  “I’m sorry” I say.  I walk upstairs.7