Once upon a time there was a girl who hated everyone because she was blind. She always said if she could see she would marry her boyfriend.1
One day someone donated their eyes for her and she could see everything.2
So her boyfriend asked her "How you can see will you marry me?" and she noticed that he was also blind so she said "no." 3
He walked away crying and said "Take care of my eyes,dear..."
what would u do?
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Loved the twist...Crying for the boyfriend too.
You should definitely make it longer, put in some descriptions and a little more emotion. It would be an amazing read.
But you actually managed to pull at my heart strings in those few words. GREAT job. -
Awww...Amazing twist. Sounds like one of those chain mails, but better. XD Such a sad story, I'm pretty sure the girl would be ashamed afterwards. I don't think you should expand this, I think the length is enough.
-
Good story
I liked it but there could have been more feelings in it.But it was really good.I feel sympathetic toward her boyfriend..sad ending
Anyway really like it!
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
-
that was a really good story for that short of length. well done
-
This was great. You should make the story longer as this was a very good story to read, still, it was great, amazing twist at the end
-
I loved this writing, it was only too short, like all your writings. You need a PC, not even a new or a fast one, just a PC where you can expand your ideas and talent.
Good job you did with this story.
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
-
Very sad and well written. I think perhaps you need a little more depth in the girl's feeling
otherwise she just sounds heartless and cold, and the reader cannot empathise with what she does and says. Other than that, very good, and beautiful. Great job. 
~Luck~
-
I heard someone say exactly what you wrote. DId you make this up?
-
I've heard this before.
-
This was absolutely stunning. It was absolutely beautiful to read. Write more things like this please. That would be the best!
-
????????????????????????????????????????
-
Wow. What a great story! You caught me on the first line. It's so original... and I wanted to cry when I read the last line! So basically, what I'm trying to say is that, somehow, you wrote an amazing story in only a few short lines. I'm impressed.
Keep writing!
-
Funny twist, didn't see it coming
-
Wow
It's kinda weird.....but I like it. That is mean, he donated her his eyes, right? Very short, but powerful.
-
he was so nice to her and she was so mean... why did she do that and say...
"no."
that meany...
great storry though
i would be saying "
yes...! yes! yes yes yes!" i would marry him and never leave his side!!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
