She knew when she decided to walk down to the shoreline, she should not be there, torturing herself the way she was but she was now forever linked to that spot. 2
It is funny how sometimes, one event can have such a dramatic effect on one's life, causing them to stop living, replaying one moment over and over in their head. 3
The mind can be a funny thing. When it gets something to hold onto, it tears into it like a pit bull. The jaws of the mind seem to clamp down never to open no matter how hard you try to free yourself.4
It was a clear day. Just as it had been on that fateful day, two years ago. The warm gentle breeze caressed her cheek. She stirred slightly, dreaming. The sketch pad resting on her lap moved slightly. The wind took hold of it, flipping the pages as if some unseen person flipped through it.5
The pages moved back and forth in the breeze. The book opened to a sketch of the shoreline and the dock where a little girl in a bathing suit stood on the dock facing the water. Each page seemed to hold the same image. Thought slightly different in one she turned slightly and in the next, she turned some more until she was facing the front. The picture began to close in on the girl's face, giving the appearance of a hand-drawn flip-book. 6
The woman woke suddenly and sat up. 7
She looked down to see the sketchbook open to the picture of the girl's face. She looked warmly at the picture, drawing a finger along the child's cheek, caressing it. A tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at the portrait for what seemed an eternity.8
Slowly, she reached out and closed the book. She gathered her things and rose. She turned to walk away and then turned back to gaze forlornly out towards the water.9
She walked back towards the house that lay behind the trees. The rooftop was just visible above the tree tops. 10
It was a warm day but a sudden chill swept through her. She pulled her sweater close about her hugging the sketch pad to her chest. 11
She stopped walking and shot a darting glance behind her when she heard a snapping sound as if someone was walking behind her. She turned slowly. 12
Nothing. 13
There was nothing there. She cursed herself inwardly for letting her nerves get the better of her. She turned and walked on towards the house. Sanctuary.14
She walked toward the house, the entire time feeling as if someone was following her but when she turned back once more, she again saw nothing. 15
She did not think there had been enough time for anyone to have ducked out of view before she turned but she felt a - presence. 16
It was hard for her to explain but it was as if she felt that something out there was drawn to her. She turned once more to look behind her as she opened the door and pulled it closed behind her.17
She entered the house, placing her sketchpad on the counter as she walked to the fridge to get something to drink. She looked past the fridge to see that the door to the basement was open. Frowning, she walked towards it and closed the door.18
"Damn! I'll have to get that door fixed." She thought to herself.19
This was not the first time the door had swung open. She never went down into the basement but the door had a bad habit of never staying closed. 20
She pushed the door closed and gave the handle a good tug. It would not open.21
Staring at the door, she knew eventually she would have to go down into the basement. There were things that needed to be packed up. There were things that needed to be sold or given away. But she did not think that she had the strength right now. Maybe some day ...22
There was a knock at the front door, startling her back to reality.23
As she walked to the door she had a pretty good idea of who it might be and why he was there.24
Opening the door – it was just as she had suspected. She stared at the man standing outside her door for a moment. It was obvious from the look on her face that she was not happy to see him. She stepped aside. He brushed past her as he walked in. No need for words - they both knew why he was here.25
Silently, she went into the kitchen and poured two glasses of iced tea. She brought them into the living-room where the man was seated on the couch. He smiled as he took the glass and drank deeply. It was a hot day and the house was a bit stifling, though she thought to herself the atmosphere in the house seemed to have thickened somewhat since he arrived.26
She took a seat across from him.27
"You haven't been so see me in a while." She glanced up at him, feeling like a small child as he looked her. He had a way of looking at a person that made them feel as if he were looking into their soul.28
"I was under the impression that it was voluntary." She said as she averted her eyes away from him.29
"Yes. Yes, It is." He agreed. "But I thought that we we're making progress."30
She could feel her body stiffening. "I'm not crazy." 31
The man smiled grimly as she folded her arms across her chest. Perhaps he was coming on a little strong and the last thing he wanted to do was to push her farther away.32
"I never said you were. But you have been through a lot and even the sanest person in the world sometimes needs to talk things through."33
His glance fell upon the sketch pad that lay on her coffee table. Good. A hobby. He felt a little better now that he saw that she was doing something besides moping in the house.34
"I see you are drawing again. That's good." He picked up the sketch pad and then looked up at her. There was something in her eyes and the stiffness of her body that wasn't right. "May I?"35
She looked at him for a moment and then nodded briskly, leaning away as he flipped through the pages of her sketch pad.36
He looked up at her as it became evident what was in the sketch pad. One picture, over and over again. As he flipped through he saw that they were all of the same view of the shoreline. He sighed. Maybe this was not that good for her after-all. 37
He looked over to the mantle where a picture of a little girl sat next to a candle. He smiled sadly as he looked back at the woman. A tear fell down her cheek. He leaned forward and placed a hand on her knee.38
"It wasn't your fault. You do know that, don't you?" He waited for an answer. 39
She just stared blankly at the sketch pad. After what seemed like an eternity she slowly raised her head to him and looked him in the eye. "I know." She said weakly.40
"This isn't healthy. You need to get on with your life. You can't go on like this." 2941
"I know,” Her gaze fell on the picture of the little girl on the mantle. She swore she cold almost hear her daughter's voice, her laughter.42
...43
Later that evening, after he had left, she sat staring at the television. It was on but she was not paying attention to what the characters were saying or doing or even what program it was she had been watching. 44
Sighing, she turned the television off and went up the stairs. 45
She paused at the door to her bedroom, seeing the the attic doors. She stared at it for a moment, then found herself walking up the stairs towards the attic46
...47
She fumbled about in the darkened room for a moment trying to find the light switch. She found it and the room filled with an almost blinding light.48
Looking in, she stared at what had at one time been her studio. She walked over to an easel, covered up with a tarp. She pulled it off and revealed a painting of the same girl playing in the sand directly in front of the dock where - 49
She winced at the memory. Suddenly it all came back to her in a flood or memories and emotions.50
She had been there with her daughter two years ago and could still hear her daughter giggling as the little girl made that sandcastle. The little girl had ran to the dock. 51
Running toward her daughter, she called out to her, telling her to stay away from the water's edge but she was too late. The little girl had fallen into the water.52
The woman dove in, searching the water. Her hand had passed through the girls hair in the water. Tears rolled down her cheek as she recalled sitting on the sand with her daughters lifeless body in her arms, cradling her as if she were a baby, sobbing into her hair.53
....54
The woman woke, tears fresh on her cheeks. She could not remember leaving the attic. She looked around the room, dazed for a moment then realizing where she was. She lay back down on the bed and rubbed her temple.55
She shot up in bed. Something was wrong. She paused for a moment, listening. Then it came again. She looked up at the ceiling as she heard someone, something moving around in the attic.56
Pulling her knees to her chest, she stared at the ceiling for a moment. Her eyes rested on a wooden baseball bat lying next to her bed. She had become used to keeping it there for protection. She stared at it and then looked back up at the ceiling.57
The woman clutched the bat close to her as she crept slowly up the stairs. She hesitated at the door of the attic. Taking a deep breath, she threw the door open and launched herself into the room holding the bat in front of her. 58
She looked around and saw that the window was open and a tube of red paint lay on the ground. She sighed to herself. She frowned when she saw that the window was open. She did not remember opening it but then again she did not remember leaving the attic either.59
She walked over to the window and began to close it when she stopped frozen. She swore that she could hear a child laughing. Peering out the window, she saw a little girl running away form the house in the direction of the lake.60
"Samantha!' She called out before she realized that it could not possibly be her daughter. 61
She bowed her head and turned to go from the attic and again she froze. The bat she carried dropped from her hand, landing in a hollow thud on the floor. The world around her spinning.62
She stared at the painting, not realizing at first what she was seeing. Her eyes darted to a tube of red paint on the floor, then back to the painting. Across the painting was written "Mommy I need you."63
Hearing the giggling again, she turned and stared out the window again. She heard the giggling again.64
The woman shot out of the house, running as fast as she could. She ran into the woods. For some reason the walk that seemed to take no time at all in the middle of the day seemed to stretch on and on in the darkness of night.65
Frantically and out of breath, she burst through the woods and onto the sandy shore. She stopped staring at the water, calling out to her daughter. A distance away from the shore, she saw something bobbing in the water. Crying, she rushed into the water and was pulled down into the murky depths.66
...67
The next morning her therapist returned. 68
He felt worried about her ever since coming to the house last night. Some just did not feel right. He had come back as soon as he could.69
As he walked towards the house a sinking feeling washed over him. The door to the house lay open.70
He walked in and looked around the foyer. He called out but there was no answer.71
He walked about the house trying to see if anyone was there but there still was no answer. Suddenly, he noticed that the door to the attic lay open as well. He walked up the stairs. The first thing he saw was a tube of red paint on the floor. He picked it up and looked around. It was a bit chilly and that the window was open. He walked over and looked out the window. He closed the window and saw a reflection in the glass of the woman standing behind him. He gasped and spun around only to see that it was just one of her paintings. 72
Then he looked at the painting more. It was the same painting of the shore that had rested on the easel, but now both the little girl and the mother were standing on the peer, facing away towards the red sunset, looking out at the water. He placed the tube of red paint in front of the painting and walked away. 73
He hesitated before turning off the light and closing the door behind him.74
THE END
Author notes
Option number 2
- The Literary Oscars group list • next in list
- Writings of the Supernatural group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Horror Movie Ideas by Oleander.
100 points, ended January 23, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - A Nightmare on Elm's Street by C.rimsonQ.uill.
100 points, ended February 24, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Tales by Tricia3.
350 points, ended March 16, 34 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 13th Friday Contest-13 Options!(Prewrites Allowed) by Cupcake14.
110 points, ended March 28, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Yay! by His.Golden.Eyes.
200 points, ended March 31, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Story Contest #2 (Options) by VelvetWings.
350 points, ended April 10, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Horror/Paranormal Thriller Contest by Dr. Psycho.
175 points, ended April 18, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes by HaydenLautner.
400 points, ended May 13, 51 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
DQ, sorry! Not in line with what I want... I quote: "Could be about 'good' spirits/ghosts or about a medium that uses his/her talent to solve crimes. "
Not about a vengeful spirit that drags people to the bottom of the ocean. Thanks for entering anyway! -
This was good, it was very discriptive. I could imagine most of the story in my mind.
I could not find no grammatical errors.
Thanks for the entry
-
-
Thank you
-
-
It was good, but I have to agree with Laululintu, that it lingered over the sad side of ghost stories. But I'm not going to hold that against you, because I had lost a loved one, my grandmother. But back to the point of the story, I like how I can relate and feel how the character feels...
But I really liked this.

-
-
Thank you
I tried not to got he "traditional horror" route with this one because it would have been cheesy IMO. I wanted to make it atmospheric like "The Haunting" or "Night Gallery".
-
-
It's a nice story, but to me it seems to linger on the sad side of a ghost story rather than a horror or suspense.
Your characters are convincing and real, and the dialogue is natural although in the story itself I spotted some grammar errors here and there; you might want to give it a read over to pick them up.
Thanks for the contest entry, and good luck.
~Sparrow -
-
Thanks editing and grammar never have been my strong points
I recently found this online grammar checker that works pretty well for me. The only thing is that since it is computerized it is not like a human reader and some of the suggestions did not make sense to me in the context of what I was writing so I just ignored those
-
-
laughter-laughter.
the little girl made-she made
little girl had-she had. Or if you don't want her daughter to be confused with her, use 'her daughter'
friom the shore-from the shore
soemthing-something
peer-pier
I think you should right 'jumped' into the water instead of rushed into the water because there was a pier there.
Good job! I'll see if I have enough points to squeeze you in the finalists list

-
-
Grr thats the problem with Spell check. You think it is spelled correctly but it is the wrong word
-
-
I really enjoyed this story
It's always so sad to lose a child. This was a well writtin story from beginning to end. I like the way you use the picture to show what happened to the child, and the painting at the end, showing them both was brilliant.
Good luck

-
-
Thank you
-
-
I love ghost stories...this kept me all the way to the end. Very nice, I would love to see this as a movie I think it would be great.
Ria -
-
Hopefully if all goes well it will be filmed this summer
-
-
Good build up...
...as the tension mounts nicely. I must admit the idea of ghost-children freaks me out more than adults though; it's like they have the hypnotizing ability of sirens, using guilt to reign in the adults. I thought you had a really good ending, using the painting like that. It was a good read!
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
-
-
Yes there s something about the idea of ghostly children that is infinitely more horrifying than ghostly adults isn't there? Now I just have to find someone who is a good artist so that when it comes to filming it the painting doesn't look like I did it
I can work with charcoal but I can't work with colour - colour blind lucky me
-
-
I really enjoyed reading your story, I liked the way you introduced your main character, the emotional detail of her personality. You could really feel her pain on the loss of her daughter.
For me the beginning drew me into the story, your characters I mention are very realistic and well developed .
It shore kept me wanting to read the rest of the story. It went at a steady pace as the story unfolded Mostly it was easy to read
These are only suggestions, you don't have to take them on board,
(She opened the door,) instead of saying (it was) maybe you could try saying ( just as she suspected.)
(She took a seat across from him, trying to look non-threatening he leaned toward her.)
Here you say, "You haven't been (so) instead of (to) see me in awhile."
She swore she could almost hear her daughters voice, her Laughter.
Hope you don't mind my suggestions. I really have enjoyed reading your story it is really good, have you tried sending it to a publisher?

beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
-
-
I like getting comments on my writing actually. It let's me know what areas I need to work on (editing is not my strong point
)
I haven't tried sending anything for publication yet. I am planning on writing a few more short horror stories and maybe publishing it as an anthology and I also am planning on filming it as a movie next summer.
I have been looking into self publishing actually and am leaning towards createspace, lulu or cafe press.
-
-
I loved this, really well written.

-
-
Thank you
-
-
This is REALLY good! I am absoltely taken aback. I felt like I was watching a REALLY good episode of Supenatural. I felt for the mother. How sad it must be to lose a child! I love how the ghost of her daughter called to her.It is an EXTREMELY great write. I enjoyed reading it.


-
-
Thank you
I am in the process of adapting it for the screen. It will be filmed this summer in the town of Grand Marais, Manitoba
-
-
This was really god, you did excellent on this!


-
-
Thank you
-
-
This is really good. I hope you have more to add to it!


-
-
No no more to add to this one but it is part of an anthology of short horror stories I have been working on.
-
-
I LOVED it! Great story, great plot!


-
-
Thank you

I am planning actually to have this one adapted for the screen and filming it with some friends of mine this summer so I am very glad that the response has been good
-
-
That's awesome, well good luck!
-
-
-
-













