I stare down the blank page. It fills me with a fear which I've never felt before. Exhilaration, yes, fear, no. Fear's a new one on me. I've never felt fear or indifference towards my writing. In fact, it used to be less a life affirming thing, and more a life CONFIRMING thing. If I could still write, then I was still breathing, still thinking, still living. But now, I get up each morning, and struggle to my desk, wrestle with my memories of stressful yesterdays, and dreadful thoughts of painful tomorrows, of which there really aren't enough. I would not have chosen the past experiences I've had. I would rather fight my own battle than watch powerless, as I had done, through Christina's hard-fought, but eventually fruitless battle. Of course, when you're fighting against a demon which has the power to ravage you bodily, but not steal your spirit, the battle is harder. The demon they call cancer is evil, the ultimate evil. I've been fighting the pain at her death for near two years. I must write, I have to write to keep my sanity, and so I've kept it up minimally through diaries, journals, for the years, for all those horrible, terrible days. Until now, I've not set a word down creatively. I pick up my pen, and one line flows smoothly from my brain, down my arm, down the pen, onto the page. 1
"I've found the courage to pick up my pen"2
A pause, to reflect on that statement, and another line:3
"And begin again"4
A pause, more words: 5
"What I thought I'd lost"6
After that, it comes thick and fast: 7
I've found the courage to pick up my pen8
And begin again,9
What I thought I'd lost10
The sky-high cost 11
Of the emotion thief12
Grief13
Stealing the memories14
That were so clear15
A wall16
Find the way over?17
It could take you years.18
The way through is quite clear,19
But it's up to you20
From here. 21
I write a single word at the top of the page- "Courage". That word sums up a new beginning, a fresh start. I've found the courage to pick up my pen, because of Chris. She would want me to, and I do it not out of desire, but more to honour her.
Author notes
6) An artist/writer who cannot find the inspiration or drive to continue doing what has meant the most to them their entire life. Find them a reason for them to continue.
My favourite place to go is a place called St. Nectan's Glen. It's pure peace...there's nowhere else on Earth like it, I'm quite sure.
A contest entry
- Sunsets and Silhouette Dreams by Eddie.
950 points, ended June 10, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Amazingly...Inspiring in every sense
IT was wonderful, really. The writing process was very realistically described and the prompt was perfectly respected. The narrator sounds accomplished and we can feel its personality through the first person point narrator. The most surprising aspect is that even if it is quite short, it remains no less very powerful. An inspiring theme written beautifully; again, amazing. -
I like the description of the writing process. It makes it all more realistic that we're reading as you described a slight view of how it could have possibly been written
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black cloud
this is a very cool poem and it made me think...beginning: 2, plot: 5, ending: 3, characters: 3.
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"If I could still write, then I was still breathing, still thinking, still living."
THIS is the reason why I love these kinds of contests. Stories like this one are born. Wow, so many good things going on in this story. I can totally relate to this story, writing being my life as well. This is really emotional, and you can feel the pain of the main character. For some reason, I really loved the last paragraph. Courage-that one word sums this up beautifully. Thanks so much for entering my contest. Finalist!
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