Tonight, as I lay bundled up
underneath my bright blue covers
I close my eyes and make a deal with God.
I ask Him to make the weatherman right for once;
I ask Him to make it so cold
that the school cancels all my classes
so I can sleep in as late as I want
and not have to worry about waking up early tomorrow.
Little did I know, in a nearby city called Chicago,
there is also someone who is making a deal with God –
someone who is clinging to remnants
of newspapers and cardboard boxes,
begging the Lord to keep the cold at bay
so they do not sleep in so late tomorrow,
they never wake up.
Author notes
I should preface this by saying that I am NOT a poet - this was my creative writing class assignment. HOWEVER this did actually happen and I did not write it FOR the class. We had to write a poem and I felt compelled to write about the topic. Most of you probably don't know this but it's been really cold here in IL so this was a result of that. If anything, I hope this makes you think.
Contest: I chose the poem about life. My username is CrystalSycamore2
A contest entry
- LOTS AND LOTS OF OPTIONS CONTEST by FearedCries.
200 points, ended March 17, 27 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - You, Yourself...and Being Philosophical by TyShade.
1500 points, ended April 2, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Did it make you think?
Comments
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I have never thought of that. I really like how you put things in your poem. Good job, thanks for entering my contest.
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Very thought provoking....
.. and, of course, fabulous point and counterpoint. It didn't read like poetry, but then who am I to judge that. What it did feel like was a very vivid reflection on our blindness and indifference to those worse off than we are, and our belief that God has ONLY our personal worlds to take charge of.
I loved these little vignettes, a very well-observed commentary on human selfishness and thoughtlessness. Nothing at all to pick apart, they balanced so nicely. So much in so little, I suppose that's what makes it poetry. There's nothing extraneous, and every word counts.
In short, 11 out of 10. -
Lol i'ts 8 degrees here in Tennessee coldest weather in 6 years, we got off school tommorow so I Can sleep in ^_^.
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