Walking ahead with Tazuna lazily following, Naruto happily lead the now six-strong party. Sakura and Sasuke came afterward, with Kakashi just behind them, having dropped back from the front. Nariko brought up the rear, looking at the back of Naruto’s head and holding her chin thoughtfully, her mask up over the lower half of her face. It was like déjŕ vu… the kid reminded her of someone in particular. Although she couldn’t quite place it. Sasuke too. Both boys stirred memories of when she was their age up to the forefront of her mind; but she couldn’t completely grasp it…1
“…we’re not going to run into any foreign ninja or anything like that?” Sakura was saying.2
Kakashi laughed. “Not likely.”3
Nariko glanced at the bridge builder as Sakura said this. He seemed to stiffen – she only noticed the movement because she was so close to him – was he hiding something from them? Or was it her own paranoia?4
“Nariko, Tazuna. Are you guys coming?” Kakashi turned around after the genin had started off once more.5
Nariko snapped out of her thoughts. “Yeah, coming…” She nodded at Tazuna, who took the hint and walked ahead first.6
--7
They passed over a bridge across a stream; this one was flat and made entirely of wood. It was more of a walkway than bridge.8
“Wouldn’t compare much to the type of structure you could erect, would it, Tazuna?” Nariko asked, watching the fish swim under their feet.9
The old man looked up from under the shade of his hat. “This? This is nothing. Nothing in contrast to what I can do.” His tone was flat, but she could sense a hint of pride in his voice.10
Raising an eyebrow, she waited for him to continue, but he didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it any further. She gave up on any further attempts at conversation.11
They passed a puddle along their way. Kakashi turned his head briefly as it caught his and Nariko’s attention. It was something different to the usual sun-dried dirt they usually saw – Nariko’s eyes followed it as the group moved along – then she frowned to herself, halting her steps.12
There were no other puddles around. No leaves dripping. In fact, there was no visible sign anywhere that it had rained for weeks let alone in the past 24 hours. It wasn’t a natural occurrence – and if they weren’t going to be attacked on just a C-rank mission, that meant it could only mean…13
Nariko’s eyes flashed. Could it be…? she wondered.14
Her hand moved slowly to her right leg, flicking open the kunai holster.15
“Kakashi,” she murmured a warning.16
It wasn’t possible…17
Naruto stopped walking and turned around curiously – Sakura and Tazuna did the same soon after – each sensing Nariko’s unease. Sasuke turned around also, with a small annoyed frown.18
Surely it couldn’t be… him.19
Nariko turned around, expecting the puddle to be gone or on the move. What she did see, however, came as a slight shock. A black armoured figure was rising ominously out of the water. Nariko took a backstep, her kunai completely forgotten.20
She expected an attack – it came – a second man trailing black spurred chains shot out of the puddle and headed straight towards her. She put her hands up in front of her face to defend herself, but they shot straight past her.21
She turned, eyes wide, and saw their target. Within seconds, Kakashi was trapped like a lassoed animal. Nariko whipped round to face their attacker again, seeing now that he wore a headband. The symbol showed the pair were from… the Hidden Village of the Mist.22
But it made no sense… If it wasn’t him, who was it? Who else would attacking them?23
The mean look to the shinobi’s eye told her everything she needed to know at the time; he was malevolent, and he meant business. Nariko drew her kunai, but he and his comrade had pulled on the chains already.24
“Stop!” Nariko cried all too late. Kakashi couldn’t get out of the hold; his body was torn to bloody shreds.25
“Kakashi-sensei!!!” Sakura wailed.26
Nariko stood there stunned for a few seconds, along with the others. Then she squared her shoulders angrily.27
“Remember the mission! Protect Tazuna! Now!!!” She ordered, gritting her teeth and turning to glare at the Mist ninja. “You’ll pay!” She growled, her chest tightening with rage.28
She didn’t allow herself to think about what had just happened to Kakashi. Throwing three small shuriken, she went straight for the first attacker’s vital areas – throat, heart, and forehead – she didn’t spare time to make sure they hit.29
She whipped around to check on the other one, but he was going after Naruto. The boy was still in a state of shock. Nariko yelled a distraction, but was ignored; the man was heading straight for him!30
“Naruto! Get outta there!” Nariko shouted, running forward, but heard the clinking of a chain cutting through air behind her. Startled, she dropped and rolled to her back, seeing the rope of black links zoom just centimetres over her head. With an angry roar, she stabbed upward with her kunai, catching the chain and twisting it out of the ninja’s grip.31
“What the –”32
She was on her feet in seconds – ovbiously he and his partner had targeted Kakashi first because he was clearly marked as the leader; the strongest of the group – the jounin. But he wasn’t the only jounin there!33
With a vicious lunge for his throat, Nariko pinned the shocked ninja down, twisting his arm around and bringing her knee down hard on his back.34
“Didn’t expect that, did you?” She hissed angrily, only just resisting the urge to slit his throat.35
She turned around and saw Sasuke was standing in front of Sakura, who in turn was defending Tazuna. The remaining ninja was going straight for them – they were helpless! Yet she couldn’t let this one go. His face was nearly pressing into the dirt underfoot, but that didn’t stop the Mist shinobi from grinning savagely at her predicament.36
But all it took was an instant. The running ninja was hooked around the throat by a tall figure who caught the ninja under his neck, holding him in a choke-hold.37
“Hi,” Kakashi grinned proudly, standing there as if nothing had happened.38
A surge of relief swept through Nariko; he was okay.39
Pulling the ninja she was kneeling on up by the back of his collar, Nariko stood up and hauled him none-too-gently over to where Kakashi was standing. She threw him roughly to the ground again and only then removed the kunai from the side of his throat. She then threw her arms around Kakashi and hugged him tightly.40
“Kakashi-sensei used the replacement jutsu…” Naruto realised, aghast. He looked towards the place where just before, he had seen what he thought was his sensei, torn to shreds in an instant. The only thing left there was a distributed mess of chopped wood.41
If Kakashi was surprised at Nariko’s reaction, he did well to hide the fact. He smiled and patted her back with his free hand.42
“Don’t worry yourself,” he said with a small grin. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to any one of you.”43
“I wasn’t worried!” Nariko said, perhaps a little louder than necessary. She raised her head and half-glared at Kakashi. “Not one bit! Because I know you’d never let yourself slip up – and you’d never do that to me – just hours after I found you again.”44
Kakashi sweatdropped as Nariko’s hold on him became gradually tighter.45
“Right?” Nariko said, looking a little annoyed.46
Kakashi kept his smile there as she nearly squeezed the life out of him.47
“Riiiight…?” Nariko asked again, her eyes narrowing.48
“Of course I wouldn’t, Nariko-kun…” Kakashi said, briefly fearing for his life. He gave a short sigh of relief as her hold loosened and her expression lightened.49
“I knew you wouldn’t,” she said cheerfully. She picked up the groaning ninja at her feet and handed him over to Kakashi, the latter of which held his limp form under one arm, the attacker’s partner still slung over one shoulder.50
“Looks like Kakashi put Nariko’s jutsu to good use…” Sakura murmured.51
“Hey,” he protested upon hearing his name. “I mastered that technique a long time before Nariko learnt it.”52
Nariko grinned underhandedly. “Either way, we have other things to look at here.” She looked over at the bridge builder and put her hands on her hips. “Tazuna, are you alright?”53
The bridge builder looked up, pale-faced, and nodded meekly.54
Nariko inclined her head with a lot more strength. She turned to Kakashi, who was apologizing to Naruto for not showing up sooner. He also congratulated Sasuke and Sakura for their quick-thinking. Nariko waited until he was done before she tapped his arm gently.55
Her tall friend turned around and met her eyes.56
“I know I don’t know the old man too well, but…” Nariko muttered, shooting a glance at Tazuna. “He hasn’t been straight with us.” She looked at Kakashi again, who nodded in agreement.57
“I agree. He’s definitely hiding something.”58
Nariko dropped her gaze as Kakashi looked toward the genin.59
“I have some bandages for Naruto,” she said, reminded of the boy’s torn and bleeding hand. She went to fetch something from her black jacket, but Kakashi stopped her.60
“Wait,” he said.61
Nariko looked up curiously. Kakashi glanced down at her and winked so that the others couldn’t see. Nariko inclined her eyebrow an inch – she knew that look – it only happened when he had an idea in his head… The pair of them simultaneously looked over at Naruto and Sasuke; the blond boy looked like he was ready to kill the Uchiha kid.62
“Rrrrr SASUKE!!!”63
“Naruto!”64
Hearing the shout of his sensei, Naruto halted his mad rage and turned his head.65
“Stand still,” His mentor instructed simply, holding the two ninja limply in his arms. From beside him, Nariko glanced at Kakashi. “These ninja have poison in their claws – we need to remove it quickly.”66
Naruto swallowed air, lifting his hand and shaking a little.67
“We need to open the wound and take it out; it’s in your blood, so don’t move around until we can get to you. That will only spread the poison. By the way, Mr. Tazuna…” Kakashi redirected the conversation towards the bridge builder without moving his head. The old man looked startled.68
“Yeah, what?” He asked a little gruffly.69
Kakashi turned his head to the side and fixed Tazuna with a sharp look.70
“We need to talk,” was all he said.71
--72
Gathering at the base of a nearby tree, six figures stood around its trunk in a sort of semi-circle. Six pairs of eyes were all trained on what lay at the base of the tree.73
The three genins were together to the side; Naruto and Sasuke were sitting down, the latter with his elbows on his knees almost lazily and the former inspecting his hand. Sakura stood a little behind them, her hands close to her heart and looking for comfort from Sasuke. Comfort the boy looked less than keen to give.74
Tazuna stood, fidgeting rhythmically with his glasses every so often, on the tree’s left. Sort of. He was probably closer to the front than the side; he didn’t want to get too close to the tree.75
Finally, the two jounin stood in the middle, directly in front of the large plant. Nariko stood with one arm folded across her chest, the other arm holding her chin thoughtfully, resting its elbow on the other arm. She stood with near army-trained posture, but still could not beat Kakashi for height. Kakashi, his hands in his pockets, was slouching ever so slightly and looking at the two ninja tied to the base of the tree.76
“Good job with the rope,” he said to the young woman next to him.77
With a shrug and a small grin, Nariko replied, “I didn’t like the odds that they would stay down if they woke up. Take a hint, you lot,” she said, looking briefly at the three genin and then nodding back to the bound ninja. “Make sure there’s always a little room left for rope. It’s a useful addition to any ninja’s munitions.”78
Kakashi was looking the ninja up and down. Nariko shot him a questioning glance.79
“What do you think?” She asked.80
“These look like Hidden Mist Chuunins…” he mused in reply. Nariko nodded – they already knew that. Behind them, she could tell the others were listening; even Tazuna was silent.81
“These shinobi are trained to continue fighting no matter what.”82
“Her…” one of the pair started, hoarsely, looking with meek loathing at Nariko. The only thing Nariko did was put her arm down, folding it over the other one and keeping a plain face. The would-be assasin continued huskily, “…Who is… what is… she… headband… but, those moves…”83
“We only expected one shinobi accompanything the geezer…” The other half of the pair croaked, his injuries still throbbing.84
Kakashi gave Nariko a short look, wondering how the battle would have gone without her help – she was still keeping her poker face on – but the Mist ninja weren’t done yet.85
“…How did you read our movements?”86
“On a sunny day like this when it hasn’t rained in days, there’s not going to be a puddle in the middle of the road.” Kakashi took the liberty of answering.87
“Well then why did you let the brats fight?” Tazuna interrupted, clearly spooked by the whole turn of events. Evidently he didn’t feel comfortable with only the protection of three genins; and it seemed now he was doubting the abilities of Kakashi – his main chance of survival.88
Nariko frowned and Kakashi shot him a cold glance. “I could have killed the both of them in an instant if I had chosen to do so,” he stated. “But then I wouldn’t have found their goal. Their target wasn’t us, Tazuna, it was you.”89
The old man hesitated briefly. “Then why–”90
“Did they attack him?” Nariko stepped forward, unfolding her arms. “Kakashi was the logical one to take down first,” she explained, at Tazuna’s tense silence. “He’s the only labelled jounin, and their only main threat. Once he was out of the way, there would only be three genins preventing them from getting to their main objective.”91
She fixed the bridge-builder with a cold stare. “If they had known I could defend you too, their attack plan would have needed rearrangement, and who knows? If not for Sasuke, you could have been at their mercy right now.”92
His reaction would confirm this theory – it was true, the two Mist agents could have been simply after Kakashi or powerful ninja – but after the comment from the ninja when he referred directly to Tazuna, her suspicions had been aroused.93
At her words, Tazuna gulped.94
Nariko’s eyes narrowed fractionally – his game was up – there was something he wasn’t sharing with them afterall. She put her hands on her hips and Kakashi took over.95
“You never told us there were trained shinobi after you,” he said. “Our mission was only to guard you from bandits or regular thieves and thugs. All we had to do was protect you until this bridge got built.”96
Nariko wondered if money was the matter behind this - if they had known the old man was being hunted, this would have been ranked as a B mission – at the very least. She glanced to Sakura, who looked almost as scared as Tazuna had. Now the bridge-builder was just looking guilty.97
“We’re operating outside our duty now,” Kakashi said, turning to Nariko. “Sorry to have you dragged into all this, Nariko.”98
She shook her head in dismissal; “It’s not your fault.”99
“We’re not ready for this!” Sakura blurted out. “We should quit!”100
All eyes turned to her – Kakashi’s slowly, Nariko’s with a slightly raised eyebrow, and the other’s with a bit of surprise – Tazuna wasn’t so surprised, however.101
“Naruto’s hand needs attention; we should take him to a doctor’s!” Sakura pushed, as Kakashi looked down at Naruto’s still-bleeding hand.102
Nariko looked at her friend, wondering again why he didn’t want her to provide that attention.103
“…This might be too much for us…” Kakashi mused thoughtfully.104
At this, Naruto looked positively frantic. He then bit his tongue angrily and glared downward at his hand, his kunai hand gripping the handle of his weapon. Nariko saw what he was going to do, but she didn’t have enough time to cross the distance between them to stop him, so she didn’t bother trying.105
With a sickening sound, the boy drove the tip of the kunai towards him, it’s top vanishing into the back of his hand.106
A silent exclamation went through everyone else – minus the two ninja tied to the tree, who seemed to have slipped into a half-concious sleep.107
“Naruto! What are you doing!?!” Sakura screamed.108
Naruto hunched over, shadows covering his slightly wild eyes.109
“I won’t need saving again…” he growled to himself. “Never again… I won’t be the weak one!” He gritted his teeth as the blood flowed from his hand, but he looked up, his eyes ablaze. “I’ll protect the old man! We’re continuing this mission!”110
Nariko was startled, but as a reaction her expression softened. She knew exactly who he reminded her of now…111
She glanced at Kakashi, wondering if he could see it too. Kakashi started to move towards the boy.112
“Naruto,” he said quite calmly, “it’s good that you’re letting the poison out and all…” he bent down to Naruto’s level. “But any more and you’re going to die of blood-loss… seriously…” He put on a bright smile as Naruto looked at his hand, a little dumbfounded.113
Nariko stopped herself from laughing at the poor kid’s expression. There was a tiny pause, then…114
“NOO!!! That’s BAD! I can’t die from something like this!!!” Naruto held his uninjured hand to his head, his legs dancing around beneath him rowdily. “Save me Kakashi-sensei!!!”115
Nariko was thankful for her mask. “Kakashi, that’s just mean,” she couldn’t help but grin.116
Naruto paused his panicking, looking up at Nariko with surprise and then back down at his healing hand. He then glared at Kakashi, assuming his teacher had been deliberately trying to scare him. Kakashi smiled guiltily and sweatdropped.117
“Heh… um…” he said, as Naruto continued to glare at him, assuming the boy was angry at him for exaggerating the severity of the poison.118
Trying to stop herself from laughing, Nariko turned away to hide her expression from the others – they would be able to see the humour in her eyes – thankfully, they were all pretty distracted.119
Sasuke was looking boredly at Naruto as Sakura brought her fists up under her head, still angry at Naruto for recklessly stabbing himself.120
“Naruto, are you a masochist or something? What were you thinking?!” She demanded angrily, giving Kakashi an opportunity to take the bleeding hand Naruto was holding out. He inspected it cooly, then frowned a little.121
Taking a closer look, he confirmed what he had originally thought: Naruto’s wound was already beginning to heal. Thoughtfully, he looked his hand over again for a little. Nariko noticed he seemed to be taking his time; she turned around, fully composed once more, wondering what had caught Kakashi’s attention.122
“Uhh… Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto asked cautiously – scary face! he thought to himself – his sensei seemed to snap out of whatever he was thinking. 123
“Am I going to be okay?” He asked uneasily.124
Kakashi finished wrapping Naruto’s hand in the cushioning bandages, letting Naruto test it’s flexibility and movement.125
“You should be fine,” he reassured him.126
Nariko smiled at the grateful look Naruto gave Kakashi – fleeting as it was.127
“…Lady Nariko… …Kakashi-sama…”128
The two of them turned around curiously at being given such titles.129
It was Tazuna.130
The old man looked defeated as he spoke; “…we should talk…”131
--132
Their small boat moved across the fog-encircled waters bordering the small Wave country. The three genin were at the front; Naruto leaning over the bow of the ship, intent on spotting their heading. The thick mist would stop him from doing so for a while yet, Nariko suspected.133
She and Kakashi were resting closer to the stern – the ferryman was standing behind them, using a single wooden oar to move them gradullay forward – gliding, the vessel cut through the water in near silence.134
“We should see the bridge soon,” he said with an edge of unease, breaking from his rhythmic rowing to look up. “The Wave country is at the base of that bridge.”135
Nariko shared a glance with Kakashi, each wondering if the other was thinking what they were.136
In any case, they didn’t have much time to ponder long – soon enough, they came face to face with a tall structure – it was supported by sturdy beams of brick, whereas its length was seemingly some sort of stone and wood mixture. Awestruck, Naruto let off an exclamation.137
“Wow!!! It’s huge!!!”138
“Hey! Be quiet!” Barked the ferryman sharply. “Why do you think we’re coming in under the cover of the mist without the engine on? We’ll be in deep trouble if they find us out here!”139
Strained silence enveloped the boat. Nariko had been wondering about the engine – she had at first assumed it was broken in some way – but apparently this was not the case.140
The old man seemed particularly on edge, considering he was coming home.141
“Sensei…” he muttered to Kakashi, as Nariko shot him a backwards glance. Before he could continue, they had hit the bank and were being urged silently to disembark by the ferryman.142
“Sensei,” Tazuna continued, as the boat moved off into the distance again. “I…need to admit something… it concerns the mission…”143
Kakashi tried to offer Nariko his hand to help her out of the boat, but soon took it back after seeing the look she gave him. He then turned around to Tazuna with a quizzical look.144
“You were right… this job is maybe outside the league of your duties; a dangerous man wants to kill me. A super dangerous man.”145
Nariko raised an eyebrow behind Kakashi, but took care not to let the bridge builder see it. She had come to notice through years of comparisons that what villagers considered to be a “super dangerous” criminal, was more often than not a completely different view to that of a trained shinobi.146
Kakashi was waiting for the old man to go on, but noticed a certain reluctance.147
“Who is he, then?” He prompted, sitting down briefly.148
“You’ve probably heard of him before…” Tazuna admitted. “Does the name Gatou mean anything to you?”149
Nariko didn’t recognize the name. “I haven’t heard anything about this Gatou person… what village does he hail from?”150
The old man shook his head. “He’s no ninja,” he said. “He’s chairman of a company th–”151
“That Gatou Company?” Kakashi interrupted, recognition dawning in his eyes. “He’s said to be one of the world’s richest people.”152
Tazuna nodded. “Officially he runs a large shipping company; but on the underhand he’s involved in all sorts of nasty dealings. He’s into drug dealings, smugglings, anything illegal and he’s probably got a hand in it.”153
“Sounds like he’s pretty corrupt,” Nariko mused, folding her arms. “But how would he get to you? And why would he want to?”154
“Well, he doesn’t do all the dirty work himself,” Tazuna went on.155
“They never do,” Kakashi muttered aside to Nariko.156
“He hires ninja and gangs of mobsters to do it for him. Together they take over businesses and small countries. He’s a very nasty man.157
“Through blackmail and violence, he quickly took control of the Wave country – he’s been calling the shots ever since he first set his eyes on us about a year ago – now he’s basically got the whole country under his thumb, running the business traffic like a monopoly.”158
Nariko frowned thoughtfully as the genin caught up with their conversation.159
“The Wave country is one without a Hidden Ninja village to protect it…” she said in an undertone. “This combined with its small size and isolation from the mainland would have made it all the more easy for Gatou’s men.”160
She thought along that trail of thought more and connected Tazuna’s importance to that of the Wave country. Kakashi looked at her as she did so.161
“So if all trading networks are cut off within the country…” Kakashi said, following her trail of thought.162
“…Then the only way of introducing any life back into it is from outside the borders.” Nariko finished the sentence, turning to look at Tazuna again. “The bridge is the lifeline.”163
The old man nodded. “It’s completion is the only thing Gatou has to fear.”164
“I see,” Sakura said, holding her chin in almost the same pose as Nariko had adopted previously. “So… because you’re building the bridge, you’re in the way.”165
Nariko nodded and looked at Sasuke, who spoke next. “Those Mist ninja must have been two of Gatou’s hired cronies.”166
She then looked over at Naruto, who looked like he was doing his best to understand and failing epically. She tried to explain it to him in brief quietly, but before she had a chance, Kakashi raised an interesting question.167
“What I don’t understand is this,” he said pointedly. “If you knew there were ninja and other thugs after you, why did you hide it from us to start with?”168
Tazuna hung his head at this point. Nariko eyed him curiously, along with the others. Minus Sasuke, who didn’t look like he cared all that much.169
“Because of Gatou’s reign, he’s sucked the economy dry,” Tazuna said glumly. “Now, the Wave country can barely afford to feed itself, let alone pay for an expensive B-rank mission for one of it’s people.”170
There was a brief pause and silence took over here as it had on the boat. Then the old man spoke again.171
“Well, you can quit the mission if you want,” the old man started.172
Nariko frowned to herself. If the others chose to leave for the sake of the genin’s safety she’d understand, but she was considering staying herself. She wasn’t bound by any mission statement, and she didn’t like the idea of this Gatou person taking control of a country at the expense of its people. 173
But the old man was continuing; “of course, if you do, I’ll surely die in some terrible manner, but hey!” He abruptly donned a bright smile. “It’s no biggie! My really cute ten-year-old grandson will be crying his eyes out for the next few months… oh, and his mother will live a sad, sad life, forever hating the Leaf Village and all affiliated with it…”174
He turned away in a sad fashion, leaving an amazed four behind him. Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura had their shoulders slumped in defeat, a sweatdrop forming on each of their heads.175
“But don’t worry about me! It’s not like it’ll be your fault!” Tazuna called cheerfully over his shoulder. “Not at all…”176
Nariko couldn’t believe this guy.177
Neither, it seemed, could Kakashi. “Well,” he said, “I guess we have no choice but to protect you – we can escort you safely on the way back to your country.”178
Nariko simply shook her head in bewilderment.
Author notes
Hardly any action in this part.. I'm so ashamed! >.< Heh
A contest entry
- I'm Looking For Fanfiction, Dattebayo by Lover of Stories.
1398 points, ended June 16, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Yes.. I thought before it got as long as the first part I might stop it there XD
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i little something I learned in the writer's handbook no mater what anybody says about your witting do not let it hold you for long. The first step to being a write you must have the will to write and step 2 to love what you write.

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Oh, I see... So you're writing it as if Nariko was there with them on the bridge mission. I wasn't expecting that, but it's not a bad idea. =) Again, thanks for entering. ^^ Keep writing!
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You're a really good writer, Sailor Moon. ^^. I loe your writing style. It was lengthy but fun to read!~ I should start on my second chapter of my story...
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WOO HOO!!!! ROCK ON SAILOR MOON-CHAN!!! That was totally awesome!! XD


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Wow!!1
I must say that this is really well written.. This is really interesting and I love how you described everything.........
The ending was so so good (funny as all hell) I love how you took the time to go into each characters reactions and think that you did it so perfectly......... What more can I say??????
That it's so amazingly good and I can't wait to read more?
Or.............. I just hope there's more!!!!
So well done!!!!!!!
I love Nariko's reactions to things........... she's such an interesting character!!!
Great Job!!!

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Brilliant!
I hope you're working your way into a part three of this wonderful saga
You have captured the character's personalities spectacularly, and I am very glad to see Nariko developing her own unique personality as well!
Loved this segment:
-- Kakashi sweatdropped as Nariko’s hold on him became gradually tighter.
“Right?” Nariko said, looking a little annoyed.
Kakashi kept his smile there as she nearly squeezed the life out of him.
“Riiiight…?” Nariko asked again, her eyes narrowing.
“Of course I wouldn’t, Nariko-kun…” Kakashi said, briefly fearing for his life. --
It reminded me a lot of Sango and Miroku, but that's a completely different story, I'm quite glad to see
your ideas are your own (which is a rare thing to see these days), and the plot is very engaging - I found myself forgetting that Nariko is a character of your own invention - "Dawn of Thunder" has revived my faith in Fanfiction. No joke.
I'll be awaiting the next part eagerly!


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I like!
The fight scene was pretty good and I liked the way you described things, it didn't confuse me at all (I usually can't keep up with written fight scenes >.>).
I like Nariko, she's a very interesting character and the way she got mad at Kakashi for scaring her was so funny XD
Oh, and that reminds me, the characters aren't OOC at all! Yay!
This is very well written, usually fan fics are written in a more careless manner because some people don't consider them actual stories, so it's refreshing to read a good fan fic ^^
Are you going to make this into a chaptered fic? I hope you do
I want to see what happens between Nariko and Kakashi! XD
I loved it!

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thankyou so much ^.^ I'm so glad you liked it - and thankyou for taking the time to review XD that scene between Nariko and Kakashi you mentioned was my favourite
I just had to put it in there XD
Thankyou again; you've honestly made my day! ^.^ -
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You're very welcome! ^^
Yeah, I liked that scene as well. I could just see it happening to poor ole' Kakashi XD
Glad it made you happy
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