Im sure you know i miss you
i would tell you everyday
But then again i never see you
and ill never have my way1
One day is not enough
to tell you all my thoughts
and trust me when i say,
i have lots and lots2
Your like an imaginary figure
i make up inside my head
it almost like you were never there
maybe you are dead3
I do not want to share you
and i know you think it too
so listen to me carefully
and always keep this true4
Love is not a wish
but it naturally come along
its like a solid figure,
its like a magic song5
So fill your heart with laughter
and fill my heart with care
even though i cannot hold you
i know your always there
Author notes
Dedication poem
i want a BIG critque
A contest entry
- Deep Waters Part two by InksterMoxy.
395 points, ended February 14, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Pictures by Olinda.
300 points, ended January 29, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Very good write Could inprove the flow (Yeah, I am huge on flow) but it was a very good write, with great emotion
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Very nice. But you did not tell me what picture you used so that deducts some points.
But your rythm is astounding, and so are your rhymes. You just have to capitalize your I because that was getting on my nerves. But you did an amazing job with this.
Thank you
Oli
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Sorry, this contest was for you to critique another members work.
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interesting. i understand how you feel abou this person. You want them close to you but they're gone. My question is about the title. When you say "missing" do you mean that they are missing from your life or that you're missing them? I was a little confused about that i i reread your poem just to make sure I didn't skip over something. I'm a little stumped. But that was good thnx for entering my contests
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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i mean its like the person is here with me still and physically on earth, but so far away that it feels as if he was never there.
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This was really cute and sweet. I like the rhyme scheme that you used through out the poem. Keep up the great work!
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Awww, Dawn. That was really cute. And even though I exclaimed it in the middle of class to you while you were sitting like less than ten feet from me, I felt the need to say it again! Awesome job!
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and its fluffy
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Awe
Awe this poem is cute
I know what it feels like
your typing gets better when you try
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Awe
Awe this poem is cute
I know what it feels like
your typing gets better when you try
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