A Light in the Dark (Final Part)

1

That was the last time I saw her.2

As one could imagine, life was incredibly hard for me.  Yet, through this most difficult period of my life, I survived, and put on a fake smile for the world to hide the turmoil raging within me. 3

I have friends who know exactly what it feels like, and I find solace in their comfort, but sometimes, that is not enough - sometimes, I break down and cry after school, but never in front of my brother. I want to be strong like mom was in his presence - I want the best for him, and I want to be the mother that he has lost. 4

For now, I explain to him that mom has ascended to paradise, and is more at peace - that she doesn't feel pain anymore, and is still with us. That is what is best for him to hear - the more positive and optimistic side to death, and that is the kind of influence I will have on him.5

I will not make him go through the pain and suffering I have.6

I will be the best mother to him that I can be in her place, and the best sister as well. I will always be there for him, and so will mother.7

I almost fell into a deep depression, but for the sake of my mother, I could not. I knew what she wanted of me, and I would come through with it no matter what. She wanted a happy daughter who would shine in this dark time, and raise her son as if it were my own. That is what is best during times like these, and buried underneath all my despair is hope.8

The hope to move on and continue with life.9

The hope for the best.10

The hope for strength in dark moments.11

That is what I received.12

That is what I found within myself - the strength to move on.13

I continue to visit her grave every Sunday, and I take this time to remember what a lovely mother she was to us. We were indeed fortunate to have her as one, even though her life was unexpectedly cut short. We were fortunate to even have and know a mother. I am more than grateful for that.14

I have heard stories of teenagers like me who have lost their mothers before graduation, and I am deeply sorry for them. I know how difficult life is without a mother, but I will live on.15

Still...the past is the past, and although it is nice to have that nostalgic feeling, it is best to move on. 16

That is what I did.17

As I sit by her grave now, I read and cherish the script engraved in the stone:18

~To our lovely mother19

The one who will always remain in our hearts20

The one who continues to shine like the sun21

In our precious memories~22

~End23