30 Days to Find Love

Prologue1

A nervous form is hunched by an open door, arms wrapped protectively around her knees.2

‘You can come in; it is your room too, ya know!’ a boy’s voice calls from within the doorway.3

‘Fine.’ The girl reluctantly uncurls and shuffles forward, planting herself down just inside the room.4

‘I’m circumcised.’ The remark comes out of the blue and the girl giggles uncertainly, relaxing, but still not yet sure what to make of her apparently crazy roommate. ’God, I’m don’t know why I just said that! My best friend back home doesn’t even know that.’5

‘I should hope not - what sort of friendships do you have?’ The girl can already feel her outwardly shy front disappearing to reveal the self only her closest friends see.6

‘Let me tell you they’re not usually like this. I have a feeling that  this is the start of a very open friendship! Are you cool with that?’ The girl laughs at this silly boy, who’s already winning her heart, and agrees readily. ‘What’s your biggest regret?’7

‘That’s a big one to start in with! No fair! I don’t even know my biggest regret myself, let alone want to tell you, who may I remind you, I only just met!’8

‘Does that even make sense?’9

The girl feigns hurt. ‘Shut up! It made sense in my head! And any ways, you know what I mean.’10

‘Okay, an easier one: what’s your greatest fear?’11

The girl thinks to herself that if he can blurt out his circumcision to someone he’s only just met then she can surely confess one tiny little secret. ‘Sometimes I fear that I’m bisexual and that my parents already know and that if I tell them they’ll say they knew all along.’12

‘What’s so bad about your parents knowing?’13

The girl is becoming defensive. ‘I dunno, I just don’t like them knowing stuff before me! Besides, it’s your turn to answer now!’14

He looks down, suddenly shy himself. ‘I’m afraid that I won’t ever make anything of myself, that I’ll end up stuck in a rut and forgotten.’15

‘How could you not make anything of yourself? I’ve only known you a day but already I can see that you love your music. This will sound corny, but just be determined to get noticed and try your best and you’ll stand out just for that and people will remember you.’16

‘Hmm, I’ll think on that later. Now, who’s your biggest girl crush?’ The voice is gently teasing, but eager.17

‘Man, I was wondering when you were gonna come back to that! Umm, Angelina Jolie. But even straight girls like her, so she doesn’t really count. Other then her, that blonde chick from Resident Evil, who’s name I can never remember or pronounce.’18

‘You’re going to love me!’ The boy rises from his chair and opens the bottom drawer of his wardrobe to reveal the latest Maxim.19

The girl grins. ‘I have the same issue! My friend Eve gave it to me before I left! Now, your biggest girl crush is…’20

The answer comes without pause. ‘Sienna Miller.’21

‘Okay, she is hot, but she’s married to Jude Law which rules her out in my book!’22

‘You’re such a girl.’23

‘Yeah, well… ummm…  you smell!’24

‘You gotta be quicker than that, babe! It’s not a comeback if it takes longer than 5 seconds.’25

The girl’s never been called a babe in such a casual way before and it’s refreshing and endearing. ‘Do you believe in soul mates and love at first sight?’ These are concepts that the girl scoffs at and she is going to make careful note of the boys reaction.26

‘Yeah, I guess. Soulmates, defiantly. Love at first site, maybe. Lust that could turn into love, at first sight, sure. You?’27

‘Haha, no way. I don’t believe in any of that stuff. I don’t ever want to get married, let alone date or look for love!’ The girl is gearing up for a rant: this is a topic she knows well.28

‘Why do you feel like that?’ There isn’t a note of mocking in his voice, the boy truly wants to know.29

‘Love is for dopes! It’s like for people who can’t accomplish anything on their own. They have to have someone backing them up constantly, telling them how great they are! And getting married is like fading away. You’re not seen for who you are anymore, you’re suddenly just a wife. I can stand on my own two feet, thank you very much! Besides, I want to be happy for myself first, before even trying to inflict my messed up personality onto someone else. And this whole ‘loving someone despite their flaws’ business is just stupid. If someone has flaws that you can’t stand than why would you love them? I can put up with flaws in my friends, but if I was trying to find a significant other they’d have to be perfect for me so that I wouldn’t have to waste any time griping about them.’30

The boy swears that he has never met someone her age as ignorant to the concept of love. Of course he’s encountered those who think that lust is love, and who fall in ‘love’ at the drop of a hat, but never anyone who has got it so very, very wrong. ‘Hon, I‘m sorry but caring about someone in spite of their flaws is what love is. Don’t you ever think you’ll find someone that you always want to be around? That you’ll think about constantly?’31

‘Nope.’ She answers simply, quickly, not even considering the possibility, because, for her, there is no possibility. ‘Any ways, it’s your turn to ask and I want an easy question!’32

‘Do you believe in ghosts?’33

‘As if! When you die, you die, your brain stops sending neurons and eventually, after rigour mortis sets in, your muscles stop twitching and that’s it. Why do you ask any ways?’34

‘I’m just curious… I think I saw a ghost once. After my grandmother died a couple years ago I saw a figure walking around her house before we sold it and I even checked it out to make sure it wasn’t a robber and no one was in there. It was quiet and the floor was dusty with no sign of someone having walked across it.’35

‘Stop it, you’re freaking me out!‘ The girl shivers and quickly moves along to another scary (but in a different way) subject. ‘So, what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever done it?’36

‘Hey! I could be a virgin…’37

‘Come on, a 19 year old male who looks like you? I don’t think so!’38

‘You got me there.’ He pauses to slick back his hair. Just then, the appropriately titled ‘You’re So Vain’ song starts piping from the radio. You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht… The girl laughs her head off at the irony and the boy starts singing along.  When it finishes he finally confesses. ‘The band room at my old school.’39

‘The band room?? Oh my god! Weren’t you afraid of being caught?’40

‘In all seriousness, I was the best saxophonist at my school and the band teacher loved me, so I had a key to the room. We went in after school one day, when practice wasn’t on…’ He pauses to think and they slyly asks the girl, ‘Where’s the weirdest place you’d like to have sex?’41

‘What! Now you’re the one assuming stuff! I have done it...’ She falters briefly while trying to come up with a viable number. ‘3 and a  half times. The half is because we were drunk and he couldn‘t get it up.’42

This time it’s the boy’s turn to laugh his head off. ‘Okay, than darling, what’s the weirdest place?’43

‘The foot of the bed.’44

‘You stole that from Friends, you virgin quote stealer!’45

‘Oh, shut up! Fine. I’ve never done it, but I’d like to do it in a park on a summer day, after a picnic.’ The girl stares wistfully off into space for a moment.46

The boy smirks. ‘It sounds to me like you think about finding love more then you’d like to admit. But ya know, doing it in a park could be arranged. I’ve even got a picnic blanket…’47

The girl giggles and slaps him lightly. She’s suddenly aware of the flirting that has been taking place and decides to change the subject rather then face up to the possibility. ‘So, do you have any siblings?’48

----49

Chapter 150

4 months later.51

“Girl with rare liver defect dies after drinking champagne for New Years.”52

The boy is standing at an open grave, surrounded by a crowd of mourners, a sobbing girl in his arms. He strokes her hair awkwardly, trying to keep his own sobs in check. Thankfully, another girl is making a move towards him and he carefully transfers the sobbing girl to her. He steps out of the crowd to give his ex best friends eulogy.53

‘I only met Charlotte 4 months ago, when we found ourselves sharing a room at college. Despite this I already feel like I’ve known her my whole life. She was an amazing girl with a zest for life that surprised me when I first started talking to her. She seemed so shy on the outside, but once she got to talking her ability to see the bright side of life and her love of laughter shone. I can see why she had so many friends back home and I’m sure she’d  be very happy to see you all standing her today, celebrating her life and remembering her for who she was.’ He pauses and looks around, smiling briefly at her drove of old high school friends. One in particular, catches his eye and he stares, not quite believing it. She didn’t mention her twin…54

‘Hey ya Simon!’ She sticks her tongue out at him. ‘That was a nice speech you gave and you’re right, I am happy to see everyone here, but it would be better if they could see me too!’ Charlotte pokes the sobbing girl Simon had been holding before and the girl doesn’t react in any way.55

‘Charlotte? What the fuck?!’56

As one the crowd turns to look at the spot Simon is focussed on. A man steps forward and gently guides Simon out of the circle of mourners.57

‘Come on son, I know you cared about my daughter very much, but I think you need to take a rest indoors and get away from all this.’58

Simon isn’t exactly lacking in common sense (although he doesn’t always listen to it) and he knows to keep quiet about what just happened. Instead, he makes up some words about how he must have missed her so much that it felt like she was right there watching. It is the next day, when Simon is finally alone and back at his now single person dorm, that he gets an explanation in the form of a creature jumping onto his bed.59

‘Siiimmooonnn!! Wake up!! I’m bored and I’ve been waiting to talk to you properly for ages!’60

‘Shove off Charlotte. What kind of stunt were you trying to pull at the funeral anyways? Haunt me all you want, but don’t do it around others when I’m likely to get incarcerated for seeing dead people.’61

‘Hah, now who’s the virgin quote stealer?’62

A sly smile. ‘May I remind you of who’s the virgin? Besides, I thought you were an atheist? How can atheists haunt people? Doesn’t that kind of go against the whole ‘not believing in God thing?’’63

‘Well, it turns out I was wrong and this is God’s idea of a joke! I’m not haunting you. Actually, I’m alive again, kind of, in the clichéd situation of having “some unfinished business.” You’re allowed to help me though, so yay for that! You’ve got to help me find a boyfriend or girlfriend.’64

‘Hah! You’re finally eating your words and you do want love after all!’65

‘No, I don’t want love, but I don’t exactly have a choice, do I? Apparently my atheism technically makes me a heretic, but God likes me so it was either go to hell or accept his jokey punishment. I’ve got another month left on this planet before it’s heaven or hell time again.’66

‘Well, not that I want to get rid of you so soon hon, but this could easily be solved. You can go back home and date Lyle. You told me how he was crazy about you and I think we both saw how upset he was at the funeral.’67

‘You know how much I hate him, you stupid git! Besides, it doesn’t work that way. I have to actually fall for the person and it has to be someone I’ve never met. As far as my old friends and family know, I’m still happily dead and resting in peace and all that jazz!’68

‘Okay, well, shall we start with one of those speed dating services?’69

‘I’m sure that won’t work. Only sad, desperate people go there.’70

‘Charlotte, hon, I think you’re kind of at that point.’71

‘I don’t want to go to hell, but I don‘t want to fall in love, either! This is never going to work and I’m scared, Simon.’ In the blink of an eye she is suddenly on the brink of tears.72

‘Oh, Char.’ Simon wraps his arms around his friend. ‘Look, you’ll be grand. Just let yourself fall in love, don’t hold back. You’ve nothing to lose at this point, anyways.’ Charlotte lets out a small sob. ‘I didn’t mean it that way. Come on, let’s make the most of this opportunity!’73

-----74

Chapter 275

‘Hi. Umm, my name’s Charlotte.’76

‘Yeah, uh, I know, your name tag.’ The man points at Charlotte’s chest.77

‘Oh, um, yeah. Hehe. And you’re Mark.’ Charlotte silently thinks to herself that she’s such an idiot.78

‘Yep. So, now that that’s been established… What’s your job?’79

‘Umm. I was a student. And you?’ Charlotte crosses her fingers that he won’t notice the ‘was.’80

‘I’m in insurance.’81

‘Oh, that sounds… interesting. I suppose you make loads of money, though.’82

‘No, it’s really not, and no, I don’t.’83

‘Okay, than. Well…’84

*bing*85

‘Bye. Nice to meet you, I guess.’ Charlotte smiles politely and walks away. That one’s a definite ‘no‘, then. Charlotte moves over to the next table, where a charming looking guy is waiting.86

‘Heya, um, Tom.’87

‘Hi, Charlotte. Nice name! I loved Charlotte’s Web when I was a child.’88

‘But wasn’t it so sad when the spider dies at the end? I’m afraid of spiders, sure, but I don’t want them to die in books!’ Charlotte felt herself loosening up. She liked a guy who could put her at ease instantly.89

‘Oh no, I’m an entomologist! I have 5 pet spiders living in my apartment. Would that be a problem for you?’90

‘Yes! Sorry… You seem really nice, but I am just so afraid of them…’ Charlotte knows she shouldn’t feel this way, but she’s happy to have an excuse to dump the first nice guy she’s met that night.91

*bing*92

----93

Chapter 394

‘How’d it go, babe?’95

‘It was desperate! There was this one guy who spent the whole 3 minutes setting up a magic trick, but never got to the actual trick. And this other one who was a real freak. He was acting like some sort of spy, asking all these weird questions, and ducking under the table whenever someone ‘looked at him funny.’’96

‘That bad, huh?’97

‘Yeah, but I still think you should have come, though! There was the perfect closeted gay boy for you…’ The girl smiles evilly.98

‘I told you! I’m not gay! Why does everyone think that??!! I like girls!!’ Simon is exasperated, but not really annoyed. He gets the gay thing a lot and he’s learning to put up with it. It must be his feminine features and the fact that he can‘t for the life of him grow a beard.99

‘Chill. I’m just teasing. So, the few bi girls there were a lot better than the guys. Cuter and cooler. But one was 30 and the other was looking for a long term relationship only.’100

‘30’s not too bad…’101

‘Simon! I’m only 19! Maybe if I was 25 or something! Eww, no, not 25. That’s old! So never mind about that!’102

‘Hey ya, I’m 20 here, don’t talk to me about old!’103

‘How am I going to find someone my own age, any ways? If I went to uni, maybe, but I can’t exactly go back to my old one…’104

‘Now there’s a thought… Why don’t we just crash a lecture at another school?  We’ll go to a geography class and you’re bound to find someone you like.’105

Charlotte gives Simon a look that shows how stupid she thinks he is at that particular moment. ‘Don’t you think the prof ill notice that I’m not a usual member of his class?’106

‘Oh come on. It’s uni, there’s hundreds of people in each class and half of them never show up any ways. You can pretend you were away partying and you only just recovered from a semester long hangover.’107

‘Partying and drinking enough to induce a hangover? Me? I don’t think so! Look what happened the last time I tried that…’ Charlotte’s views of Simon are rapidly going downhill. It’s like since she’s been dead he’s forgotten her basic personality traits: avoidance of parties and alcohol at all costs.108

‘How about you were sick with a mono?’ 109

‘That sounds fine. I can ask any smart seeming cuties for help catching up…’110

‘You do that babe. Can I come too? Maybe they’ll be a cute geography chick who can teach me about stalactites and stalagmites. I can never remember the difference between those two.’111

‘The fact that you can make anything sound sexy, even geography terms, continues to amaze me. Any ways, that’s easy. Stalactites have a ‘C’ in them for ‘ceiling’ and stalagmites having a ‘G’ in them for ‘ground.’ Voila. And no, you can not come. You didn’t go along to the speed dating thing when I wanted you to and this is my revenge.’112

‘Yeah well, then I’m going to stay here and  play video games.’113

‘You wouldn’t…’114

‘Like maybe DDR..’115

‘You bitch!’116

‘Why am I always the bitch? You whore!’117

---118

The end for now.119