Moving On Ch.10.-He Still Cares

I didn't look back to see if Chris got up. I just stormed away quite content with what I'd just don't. You see, Mrs. Junior used to be his nickname for me because I used to call him Junior, as in Dale Jr., to whom I thought was hot. It was always our game to play and I couldn't believe he thought he could still call me that! The dead leaves rustled under my footsteps and I was so furious I didn't feel myself get knocked to the ground!1

"What the hell was that for? God dang you, Lindsey! Just haul off and punch me right in the face." Chris was up and he was pissed, but not anymore pissed than I was. Furiously shaking beneath him I fought to get out from under him.2

"How dare you call me that you jerk! That was reserved for a man I loved, not you whatever you are! Get off of me!" I tried to knee him, but he was quick with his reaction and blocked the planned blow.3

"Oh, so that just gives you the right to nail me?" He said forcing me back onto the cool forest ground.4

"You betcha! After all the pain you've caused me, after all the tears I've shed and you try to pull me back in!" He pins both my wrists above my head and sternly says,5

"I did nothing like that! I have another girlfriend, why would I want you back?" I laugh at the thought of the bug,6

"I saw her car when I came into town. What change your mind on your opposition of Bugs?"7

"Maybe, but what does that have anything to do with this?" I stop fighting and lay beneath him, pinned and unable to do a thing about it.8

"Just let me up."9

"No, you'll probably hit me again for restraining you!" And then those dark eyes looked into mine and I caught sight of my Chris, the Chris I'd been with. I could see him in his own eyes, people say you can't hide what's on the inside and I guess they were right. I don't think either of us moved, we just laid there eyes locked, both us of unable to move. The trees blew in the background sending a chilling wind through my jacket. 10

"You remember the first time we came here?" Chris asked ever so softly.11

I nod in response, not protecting, but not carefree. "You told me the tree house was corny, but that you loved it." I let a slight smile caress my lips,12

"That wasn't the first time we came here, Chris." He shrugged.13

"First time I remember."14

"Well your memory sucks, you've always known that."15

"It doesn't suck, you just have a memory that is more detailed than mine." I nod, agreeing, 16

"True, true, cause I think I can still remember what we were both wearing...." I laugh at how innocent we both sounded.17

"Those were good times, Lindsey."18

"Yes, they were." Silence grasps us again before I ask, "So, do you love her?" He gives he a puzzled look and then thinks harder about the question before answering,19

"Oh, you're talking about, Rachel.." He looks up into the tops of the green trees for a moment and then back down at me. "No, Lindsey, I don't think I do." At that moment I can see he is opening his heart to me, letting me in once again. "What about you? Who's in your life now?" I don't think I expected him to ask because I was shocked.20

"No one really. There is this one guy, his name is Justin, but we're just friends." The look on his face told me he didn't believe me. "What?! I'm serious. I don't want a relationship." This time he cocked his eyebrows. 21

"Why not? You still want me?" The question came from completely out of no where and my guard was completely not ready. I opened my mouth to say something smart ass back, but nothing came. I could only get,22

"Of course not." Out, which sounded completely pathetic, but it was all I could manage. Silence once again wove around us and I felt really awkward, I mean, here I was back home away from my new life, in a forest with my first love, yeah I felt pretty weird. "Can you let me up now? I'm not going to murder you." I felt the pressure from my arms being released and I sat up. My muscles were cramped from being restricted and I stretched trying to relax them. Chris got up from the ground and began to walk away. Relief flooded me and I felt I could breath normally, but then he stopped and turned around.23

"I wish things hadn't worked out this way. You know, the whole time we were together I never wanted you to leave?" Did this guy have any more surprises he wanted to pull on me? "And just because I know you, I know you think I'm all okay and fine and that there is nothing still there for you, but..." At this point I believe my heart really did stop. "I still love you." My jaw must have dropped right to the ground and I sat locked on him unable to look away or do anything. He had just dropped an atomic bomb on me! What the heck was I supposed to say, did he really think I expected him to say that to me? After months of imagining a moment like this, of thinking a million times about what I would do or say on a situation like this. I did the exact opposite and said nothing, I did what Chris would have done if this was reversed. I got up from the ground, brushed off the dead leaves, and walked away.24