There’s this smile on my bed stand
When I wake up I put it on,
And go to school
My smile lasts me through the day
And I no longer worry that someone will detect my fake smile1
Once I get home
I go up to my room
Take one last look in the mirror
And then take my smile off
Wearing it can be so tiring
But once I take it off
I can be myself again2
Oh, how I wish that I could have that smile as a permanent one
But all I have that are permanent are scars, bruises, and tear streaks...
So how do the kids at school do it?
How can they be so happy,
And so pain-free?
I wish I had the same mental strength as them
Like a strong, thick wall is surrounding their heart
While mine has a small, weak one surrounding mine
That has been knocked down too many times
But, I guess, I only have myself to blame
I trust the wrong people,
Even when deep down I know that they will just screw me over3
Hopefully one day,
Somebody will see past my fake smile
And find me as somebody in need of love, and happiness
Maybe they’ll love me, and take me in
And mend my broken heart together,
Instead of ripping it apart more
I just need love, and compassion
I just want to be understood
So somebody, tell me, please…
Why is it so goddamn hard to be happy??
Author notes
I don't know how to edit it really.. i know it's not that good, so i'd appreaciate some help.. thanks xoxo
How did it go, guys?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Beautiful and deep. It doesn't need editing in my opinion, there's a rawness to it that is very moving and I'd hate to have it gone when you polish it and edit it. I can relate to this, it sounds like me sometimes. I loved the first three stanzas and the emotions in this. Sad yet strangely wonderful, C.
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Its really good The emotion is perfect and its really easy to relate to. Not to say i know how you feel because that would could be false. i just would like to say i can relate to this poem Great job
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I am not sure the line breaks in this one really did justice to the style of piece in which you wished to create...The punctuation was placed in spots that made it seem awkward, and the way you broke the lines up, it makes the read choppy because sentences are finished on the following line with no comma or anything...However, the topic of this one was not bad, and all together it wa a fairly well done piece, there are just some things that could use editing
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I like this poem. I have to fake a smile every day too.....Anyway, good job!
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i felt like this everyday i love it as a poem or a short story either way its beauitful yet sad but really teaching awesome job
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I don't understand the formatting. It comes off more as a poem than as a short story. I think that you have a story to tell and you should tell it! Maybe write about a specific moment at school when you feel like this. Show it by what is happening, rather than explicitly saying it. As is I think this should go on the sister site allpoetry.com.
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yea, i'm sorry about that.. actually, i kinda screwed up the paragraph thingy.. it's still lines instead of real paragraphs, but not they're split up.. lol
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I like the beginning but then it turned down to a bit cliche. Other then that it was great, and sometimes people go through situations like that, you just have to get past the hardship and keep moving forward!
Keep Writing
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Hmm the beginning was great, I love the first few lines but then its becomes just a tad cliche with the 'how could they be so happy' and ' a weak wall around my heart' there's a bunch of other ways u could interpret that. Just a little something to keep in mind. Very nicely done otherwise
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line 14 awkward same with line 30 Over all, not bad flow to this piece. I found lines 14 and 30 to be a bit awkward as I read it, they both throw off the meter and flow of an otherwise beautiful poem. I know how it is to feel that way, especially when I was in school, but if you have been through a lot, that would explain why you have trouble finding that strength you hope for. The love can also only come from within, much like your poem. I would suggest throwing the word "once" in front of more in like 30, and turning line 14 to "but the only things permanent for me are tears, bruises and scars". these are only suggestions, you can consider them if you would like. Good job with your poem!
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