The Colonial Kid--Chapter 2

Taylor looked down on William's exhausted figure. "Do you go to our school?" Taylor asked, "The high school on 3rd street? You don't look familiar."William took a deep breath. "No I do not," he said, wearily, "I am a blacksmith's apprentice. I do not attend regular school classes."

Taylor and Brooke turned towards each other. "Blacksmith's apprentice?" asked Brooke.

"Yes," replied William. He let out a large groan.

"What's wrong?" Brooke asked.

"My side," William grunted. He turned to reveal a large gash under his ribs.

Brooke and Taylor winced in fright.

"Can we help you?" Taylor asked.

"I need...ugh...medicine, or... or... ugh."

"Ok," Taylor said, "Um, we'll bring you to my house and get some Neosporin and Band Aids."

"Neosporin and Band Aids?" Brooke asked. She pulled Taylor aside, "that cut is like, the size of a football!"

"I don't know," Taylor hissed, "it's the best we can do."

Brooke returned to William's side, "OK, we'll bring you to his house. It's right through those trees and down the road. Taylor, you grab his arms, I'll get his feet."

"Thank you," William whispered groggily.

As Taylor picked him up, he noticed that William seemed to be a lot lighter than he should have been. Brooke noticed it as well, and she shot him an expression that said, "what does this guy eat?" Clearly he wasn't bulking up on meats or protein. Where did he live anyway?

Taylor and Brooke's minds both raced with questions as they lugged William through the woods. Finally, they broke through the trees and made it to Taylor's house.

Brooke almost laughed as she saw William's expression. He was looking at the house with wonder, horror, excitement, and bewilderment. He also looked extremely panicked and confused.

"Where have you taken me?" he demanded, almost wriggling free of Brooke's grasp.

"My house?" Taylor half asked, and half said.

William did not calm down, but did not erase the fear in his eyes as Brooke and Taylor carried him through the chain link fence, up the front walk, and to the door. William's eyes darted from the street, to the house, back to the street, to the fire hydrant, then the cars, the street lights, and then back at Taylor and Brooke.

"Who are you?" William shouted. A neighbor walking their dog looked over, and continued staring as William struggled to break free, then winced again as the pain overtook him.

"Look buddy," Taylor said, as he and Brooke placed him on the grass, and he got out his house key, "I don't know what your deal is. Honestly, you're pretty beaten up and we just want to make you feel better. Then you can run along and never talk to us again. I promise."

Brooke shot Taylor a nasty glance, and he knew what it meant. Brooke was a naturally curious person, and wanted to know more about William. Taylor shrugged and stuffed the key into the lock. He pushed the door open and propped it that way, then he and Brooke took William inside.

They had barely gotten Will through the door when Taylor turned on the hall light. That was a big mistake. Will kicked Taylor hard in the stomach and Taylor dropped to the ground. Brooke shrieked and let go of Will. Will, clutching his leg, ran as fast as he could out the door and disappeared around the fence.

"Oh my god Taylor are you okay?" Brooke asked, rushing to his side.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Taylor said, pushing on the wall and standing up, "where's Will?"

"He took off. I don't know what's wrong with that kid." Brooke shook her head, and helped Taylor into the kitchen.

"What should we do now?" Taylor asked, sitting on the counter.

"I don't know. I don't want to go look for him, but it's the right thing to do to help him," Brooke answered.

"I don't think we should help him. He's some strange kid we found lying in the woods, that nailed me in the stomach whan we tried to help him."

"Yeah, but Taylor, he's obviously hurt, confused, and scared."

"Fine, but it's getting dark now, so we're going tomorrow," Taylor said.

Author notes

So Far, William has no clue what's going on, since he IS from 1774. Taylor and Brooke don't know what's wrong with him.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • stardust3492
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good! Sorry it's taking me forever to read this I'm a really slow reader =]

    Anyway, I'll tell you all the spelling mistakes that you need to fix but for some reason no paragraph numbers are showing up so I'm sorry but you're going to have to find where they are in the story.

    He turned to reviel a large gash under his ribs. (reveal?)

    Brooke and Taylor winced in frieght. (fright)

    "Um, we'll bring you to my house and get some neosporin and Band Aids." (Neosporin should be capitalized)

    "Neosprin and Band Aids?" Brooke asked. (Neosporin not Neosprin)

    He was looking at the house with wonder, horror, excitment, and bewilderedness. (excitement)

    A neighbor walking their dog looked over, and continued staring as William sturggled to break free, then winced again as the pain overtook him. (struggled)

    Will, clutching his leg, ran as fast as he could out the door and dissapeared around the fence. (disappeared)

    He's some strange kid we found lying in the woods, that nailed me in the stomach whan we tried to help him." (when)

    Anyway, this is really good! I think you could add a little bit more about the confusion Will is facing with being in a totally unknown time, because you could write so much about his feelings. There is a lot more you could have said about that. But that isn't really a big deal. Its good as it is. All you need to do is fix the spelling mistakes. One suggestion: after you finish writing/typing up a story, wopy and paste it into a word document and spellcheck. Then you don't have to use any brainpower that you would use proofreading. Or you can just let me correct the mistakes =]
    <3 Carrie


    • AJishere
      January 30
      Edit | Reply
      Hi Carrie Cakes, I'm on AJ's account right now don't freak out. AJ's freaking out because he thinks that you're going to think that he called you Carrie Cakes. Well he didn't. It's KT.

      Anyway, thanks for the comment. I don't think we need to "wopy and paste" (lol ) into a document to spell check b/c we just have you to correct us But we'll think about it.

      And I don't know if we'll do it in this chapter, but I think putting more feeling into Will's journey would be a good idea.

      Hope your foot gets better! The bus is so boring w/o you!


  • checkmate-
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    Good job again The plot seems really good.... and I'm useless at commenting and have no suggestions Oh, except in one of the paragraphs, 'freight' should be 'fright.'

    Off to read the next chapter

    -Paradox


  • AJishere
    January 17
    Edit | Reply
    KT, nice job on that last part. I will continue it ASAP.


  • TwilightWolf
    January 9
    Edit | Reply
    I like this lots


  • SayNope2Dopex14
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    AHH THIS HURTS MY EEYESSS SWITCH THE COLORS KT!!!!!!!!!!!

1 - 7 of 7