leap of faith

Standing on the balcony,
looking into the eyes of the one i love.
My dad yells in the background,
telling me to ignore the angel below me.
Jump, he says, and I will catch you.
Nothing will hurt you as long as I am here.
I am sitting on the railing now,
his voice slowly seeping
into my brain and hypnotizing me.
Just jump, he says, you're safe,
my arms will break your fall.
His voice, so soft and smooth,
lures me to him. I am falling,
over the edge of the balcony.
The ground rushes up to meet me,
at a breakneck speed. He can't catch me,
I think, I'm falling to fast.
I screw my eyes shut,
waiting for the sudden pain and then nothingness.
My impact is soft, and there is a warm breath on my face.
Is this what heaven feels like?
I open my eyes and smile up at the one I love.
I told you I'd catch you, he says as he kisses me.
It really is heaven.

Author notes

book: wicked lovely
song: nobody's home by avril lavigne

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • mememe6
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    Not bad! I twas a good poem, but in my contest I wanted more a story, and to really feel for what is going on in the characters' lives. This was just a brief moment in someone's life, and I just wanted more than that.


  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    September 25
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done. Thanks for entering and best of luck!


  • seasonsoflove
    September 24

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Great job on this!

    Plot: 4
    Language: 3
    Theme: 3
    Brownie Points: 3 (So sweet! Can't stop smiling!!)

    Total: 13

    Great work here. Keep it up, and thank you so much for entering!!


  • NiteShayde silver member
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    too much of a happy ending for my liking..but ANYway, good. easy to imagine, yet complicat4ed at the same time, if that makes any sense. I dont know. this is good, sounds alot like your writing. (which is a good thing)


  • CinnaAgent11
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    Aww!! So sweet and thank-you for placing your favorite book in there. Very enjoyable. For a moment I thought that it was going to be a hallucination and she was going to die, and then... Wow, I love double-meaing stories, it makes you think. Thank-you for this piece. And thank-you for entering my contest. Keep writing, this was awesome.


  • lavanya
    August 9

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poem dear, so emotional , soft and touchy. you did marvoulus job . keep writing and good luck.
    p.s..i enjoyed its' each and every word.

  • leolord5235
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    Aw!


  • Le Masquerade silver member
    June 27
    Edit | Reply
    awwwww! so sweet
    Thanx for entering my competion!


  • trekkergirl
    May 30
    Edit | Reply
    wow I don't know if he is a lost love but a dead one is what he sounds like to me. I mean really jumping off into an angels arms... hummm... wonder if it was the angel of death. Thanks for sharing this with us. It was very well written. Thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • Neolittlefish
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    That was lovely, I'm a big fan of poetry so you got me reading instantly. Although you didn't write too much you could instantly get an idea of the intamcy between the character's you'd created. Thanks for entering

    • Neolittlefish
      April 3
      Edit | Reply
      Oh, can you please put your favourite film in your author's notes, it was my rule number six (to check everyone read the rules)


  • Rose Hathaway
    March 14

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful.....

    This is beautiful. In such a short space of time you have captured me with the trust and love your characters hold for ech other. I am at a loss for words other than, thankyou for entering!

  • trekkergirl
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    This is very nicely written... I too think that when you are in the arms of a lover it must be heaven because it sure doesn't feel like Hell... know what I mean. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into this contest.


  • Jennywinnie
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is kind like poetry, or a metaphor of some kind...

    Great imagery!

    Good luck in my contest


  • Tyipt
    February 13
    Edit | Reply
    I love it is very good


  • SweeneyTodd-girl
    February 6
    Edit | Reply

    awww...

    who's the special guy...


  • Kyndal Laran
    January 31
    Edit | Reply
    it was amazing!


  • crazy.hott.salsa
    January 21

    Edit | Reply

    It was good

    Emotion filled and nice to read. It kind of reminded me of Love Story by Taylor Swift.

    GOOD LUCK
    -salsa


  • Bethany
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    awww this is cute =]
    i love the flow of it
    you did a really good job with the emotions =]
    good luck in you contests!!!


  • inluvwithawerewolf
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    omg i REALLY liked tihs one
    great emotion!


  • Adelaine
    January 12
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful.

    Faith and trust--they go together.

    Wonderful write!

    - Adelaine


  • Windsong1041
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Great Job


  • P H Savage
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    Your few words gave me a very vivid picture and my stomach was turning circles as I waited to see if her angel caught her! Very well written! I loved it. Hope to read more from you soon! Write On!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Just Breathe.
    January 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. It's well written and I love the emotions. Great job and good luck in my contest!

    Oh and thank you for putting your SN in your A/N.

1 - 24 of 24