Lithium

My old friend Sorrow came by to visit me again. I could feel his dark, piercing brown eyes as I made myself a sandwich in the cramped, postage stamp little kitchen of my apartment. You see, it's hard to look away from a man like Sorrow, for his face is like carved ivory, his hair impossibly thick, silky, and black as raven wings. It was Sorrow's dusky, angelic features that pulled me in from the start. He was the beautiful white horse that followed me wherever I went, holding my hand or whispering things that would make any girl blush. Even when I touched myself Sorrow was there, his perfect skin glowing in the moonlight, those smooth masculine hands tracing feathery circles all over my body. It wasn't until people started to notice that my special friend was evil that I went to the Doctor. He gave me Lithium, little pink pills enclosed in an envelope, and told me to swallow them with a glass of water. Over time the pills started to kick in, and for months I no longer saw Sorrow at the park, in my apartment, or at work. The depression lifted from my aching soul and I once again was able to enjoy myself. Everyone was thrilled that Lithium had given my life back; it let me be happy again, and it felt as if someone had slipped a key into the lock and released me from my iron cage. Of course, the warm feelings didn't last...and in no less than a year I was searching for Sorrow again. He was an addiction, like Coke or chewing gum, the more I denied my love for him the stronger it grew. 1

One day, when I was dressing up to go to a friend's birthday party, Sorrow cradled me in his arms and, gazing at my reflection in the mirror, whispered that I looked ugly in the dress and everyone would be embarrassed to see me at the party. He knew how to make me cry, especially when he aimed a comment about my weight (which I was extremley sensitive about already). Walking into the bathroom, he said "I have a gift for you, Maria" and held out the shaving razor I kept in the medicine cabinet. The sharp, cool blade felt good against my pale skin, slicing it open so crimson blood bubbled up. Sorrow always kissed the scars when I finished, and the next day he gave me the razor again to cut fresh ones. By now I was wearing long-sleeved sweaters so people wouldn't see my arms, and I didn't want to go outside of my house anymore because Sorrow didn't like the way they stared. He kept me locked up inside myself, assuring me that I needed nothing but his soft, tender kisses and the poetry I wrote in a blue journal I kept under my bed next to some old photographs. Nobody else read the dark, desperate shit I scribbled down, but Sorrow told me that what I was writing was beautiful and he wanted me to write about him, nothing else. 2

"Are you alright, Miss?" A gentleman asked me on the bus. Nodding weakly, I wiped some tears from my face and held the diary to my chest with a shaky sigh. Sorrow, dressed in his usual black jacket and jeans, took a seat beside me, his arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders. "See what I mean? People notice us, they don't want us together." He whispered this in my ear, and I couldn't keep the tears from falling again. "It's better off in your apartment where it's quiet and safe, nobody can bother us there. I love you, Maria."3

"I love you, too", I said, gazing back into those dark gold-flecked eyes of his. 4

Another three years passed and I found myself slowly drowning, my eyes looking up through the smooth glassy surface, hair swirling. The answering machine in the kitchen had 0 messages, no friends bothered to call anymore, my flowers were shrivelled up and dead by the windowsill, and the entire bottle of Lithium pills were flushed down the toilet along with my vomit and tears. Sorrow lay naked and flawless as a fallen angel above me, his lips brushing against the angry pink scars all over my wrists. Sniffling, I tried to look away but he grabbed my face, threatening to crush it in his strong hand. 5

"There's nothing but emptiness", he purred, his velvety voice haunting as a lullaby. "Don't you want to just fall asleep, Maria? Close your eyes and never wake up? Death can be beautiful as anything else. It can be like a caress or pretty like the dewdrops on flower petals...there is much poetry in dying." 6

"I'm too young to die", I argued, but Sorrow scooped me up in his powerful arms and carried me off to the bathtub. It was full of lukewarm, soapy water and bubblebath that smelled like candy. He placed me in the tub. 7

"Now, all you have to do is close your eyes and slip under the water."8

"There must be a way to heal these scars", I cried, glaring up at him. "I can't let you control me anymore!"9

"No, I have already controlled you a long time ago", Sorrow retorted, glaring back at me with obsidian eyes. "Just go to sleep. Remember when you were a child and daddy wasn't there to tuck you in?"10

"Yes", I breathed. 11

"Now you're old enough to do it yourself", he turned around so I caught a glimpse of long, magnificient black wings that looked as if there were chiseled from stained glass. It wasn't until then that I noticed Sorrow was Lucifer. Dunking my head under the water, I opened my eyes and stared up at him, stared at those eerily beautiful wings that were growing larger and larger, suffocating me like the water popping my brain cells. Slowly darkness engulfed my body, and a smile graced Sorrow's face as I slipped into a deep, eternal sleep...

Author notes

"Purple pigs fly in Texas."

This story was inspired by the songs "Sound of Silence" and "Lithium."

I wrote this because I have depression and it sucks. The song "Lithium" by Evanescence is hauntingly beautiful and the lyrics mean a lot to me. Using "sorrow" as a poetic metaphor that takes the form of a handsome lover seemed like a pretty original idea so I went through with it. At first we see depression as something beautiful, something we hate but at the same time can't live without. This is a story about a woman who becomes obsessed with Sorrow, therefore her depression is starting to consume her life. Personally, I feel just like Maria right now and I hope that one day I can overcome my sadness instead of meeting her fate. Also, the line "I want to stay in love with my sorrow" is my favorite lyric from the song, so I used this to create my story.

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • May Kingston
    May 29

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    This was actually a very god read, and it DID make me feel very deeply. The character Sorrow is very vivid in my mind, attractive yet strange and creepy at the same time. But the part at the end where she realizes that Sorrow is really Satan was a little too quick. Maybe you should draw out the part where she realizes what Sorrow really is. Still, this was a really good story. The description was great! Thanks for entering.


    • Whispers silver member
      May 29
      Edit | Reply
      Hey Ph34master04!

      Thanks for reading and the kind review. Yes, I got a little carried away with Sorrow turning into Lucifer in the end, but I'll fix that up when I get the chance.


  • maiohmai
    May 27

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    It was a very quick read. Beautiful descriptions!! I had a personal connection with this especially because a friend of mines went through depression and suicide as well..
    Keep on writing!


    • Whispers silver member
      May 27
      Edit | Reply
      Hey Maiohmai!

      Thanks so much for the positive feedback . I'm glad that you enjoyed my story.


  • GrimDeath
    March 9

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    Very strong flow and details. Sorrow is a deep raw metaphor to you, and you used it very well. Great job! Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
    -Grim

  • VariousSingularity
    January 25

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    Very, very good. But, I'll never read it again. Really hit a nerve. I was nauseous throughout the entire thing.

    A true testament to your writing skills. It's hard to make a guy like me nauseous.

    Anyway, great write.

    • Whispers silver member
      January 25
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much I'm sorry it made you upset, Various, but I do tend to write from the heart and personal experience, which has been a rough time with suicidal thoughts and the like. I appreciate the feedback.


  • So Strange Greeters member
    January 23

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    Yeah. This was really sad. I usually don't like sad stories because they're... sad, but this was still very well written and the emotion was definitely there, Kris. I look forward to many more stories of yours... though I don't really prefer sad stories at most times, because like I said, they're sad. I hope you continue writing until your fingers subconsciously stop writing... which I hope doesn't happen.

    Keep up the great work. I look forward to many more stories of yours such as this one and the others I've read... they're all great in their own way, so you know.


  • Other Side
    January 15

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    Deep

    I thought it was really amazingly well written. It goes so deep and makes a good short story. I like the the way it made sense to me. You are a really really great writer. Sorry 'bout the depression, though. I know how tough it is. Believe me I know. Just hang on.

    • Whispers silver member
      January 16
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      Thank you so much for the kind, inspiring words I really appreciate them. Yeah, depression is awful...it just feels like it will never go away.

  • Whispers silver member
    January 12
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    Thanks a lot Comatose Yeah I hope it wasn't lame how I said Sorrow had wings and everything but Lucifer has wings, right? I'm so pleased you enjoyed it, even thought it was depressing


  • LivingDeadGirl56
    January 11

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    Breathtakingly beautiful. It's funny because I was writing a story about a boy with black wings, but he was a good guy haha. I loved this soo much. The metaphor is so apt and true and geez this is just wow.


  • Confused-girl
    January 10
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    Tghat is a wonderful short story you are amazing at writting!


  • ManualLoveLetter
    January 10

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    Wow

    That was amazingm,A real feel to it.
    I Love the way you have created 'Sorrow' Into A Character it's Amazing!
    I Loves it.
    I Was really depressed for a while, I was really suicidal.
    but i Held On, And Tried to Be As Optimistic as i could.
    I Worked hard, for everything, and in the End all the pieces were put back together, not fully, but It did feel much better.
    xooxo


  • TNTrouble
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    I twas thinking of the song "Lithium" by Nirvana as I twas reading this so now that I know tis by another group I am thoroughly confused...lol. However...tis very good and I often feel as if Sorrow tis a very good friend of mine indeed.


  • Just Breathe.
    January 8
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    Um..you also didn't put your SN name in your A/N. Can you do that please? Or I'll have to DQ you.

  • Just Breathe.
    January 8

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    This is beautiful! I also love the double meaning of Sorrow, and I could feel all of the emotions. This is well writting. Great job and good luck in my contest. Oh, and I love Evanescence and the song Lithium.


  • Friesian
    January 7

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    awww!

    This is beautiful so far! Excellent use of metaphors! I LOVE the double meaning to 'Sorrow.' Great emotions portrayed, too! I really love the gorgeous imagery, the gallant white horse, the perfect man, the depression, the want. Very deep and powerful writing! Excellent job! I absolutely adore this story! Oh, and I LOVE the song 'Lithium' by Evanescence! Great work!

    -Lissy

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