Three Passive Fluxes

John "Old" Gorkings1

1970-20032

A sound like a seal.3

You'll remember my morning radio show- Old Gorkings! How could you not know me. "The man drinking next to you." Everyone knew me. Everyone is reading this. I've one last story.4

Where am I?5

I was sitting down for my show. The radio show. This is one of the strangest things that has ever happened to me. As I was sitting down, I heard a deep throaty noise.6

Like a seal.7

It went on throughout my whole show. I did a bit on Yo-Yo Ma that day- you know, the cellist. I did a little thing on Dick Johnson. Oh no, the best part is, he's a pianist. Yeah, I know. Very music-oriented, the show I did that day. But through the entire show, this strange sound, like a dog trying to be a tuba.8

I remember putting on a long cello song just to go see. It was killing me at this point- I had no clue. 9

Now the radio station I worked at had a hallway with four adjoining rooms. This hallway was long, with three benches in it, and we used to get all sorts of people who came in, sat down, hoping to get a glimpse of what wasn't actually so glamorous. 10

So the thing making the noise, the kid, was laying on a bench just outside my door. Just sitting there, looking at the ceiling, skinny limbs sprawling all over the place. If he hadn't been making any noise, been sitting upright, unmoving, I still would have seen the insanity in him. One of those kids- he couldn't have been older than 16- that just haven't made it through life. Tried to reach too far out and fell off. They used to lobotomize those kids.11

"What are you doing?" I asked him.12

He looked through me with these eyes that were almost two pictures of his life. Then, so suddenly that I jumped in surprise- "Teasing on a line!" Then he threw his head back and cackled. Completely and utterly insane at sixteen years old. I laughed; there was nothing else to do.13

He thought I was laughing with him, and his beady eyes brightened, a huge smile spreading across his face.14

"Would you like to know what my place is like? I'm Me! I'm all me!"15

Another cackle.16

"That's all there is to it!"17

I was reminded of the song that was still playing. "I have to go. I'll see you later." 18

I don't remember what he said then but when I came back, he was gone.19

I saw him one more time in the deli, down the road from where I live. He recognized me, smiled, told me his mother was dead, and left.20

Everyone knows it's the heroin that weakened me, and the alcohol that finished me off. But here I'll be. The worms won't touch me.21