He stays in the shadow, watching as she brings the razorblade up to her wrist, where it hesitates for a moment. In that short moment, he looks into her mind. He sees the hurt she has faced; see how unwanted she is to her class, to her parents. The unwanted child abandoned in favour of her much capable younger brother.1
This is not the first time he has seen her.2
So many years pass in the blinking of an eye, and with each second he finds himself staring at yet another unwanted child, yet another depressed soul trying to leave the world in the hopes that they would find a better life in the next.3
But they never do. He has seen the world they go to, and he knows the pain that will face them. He knows the past will return to haunt them… He used to be one of them.4
His eyes fill with tears. Now, another soul is going to join them… and he cannot do anything to stop her. This is the curse he was given – to watch them die over and over again –5
“Who are you?”6
He looks up, surprised.7
She now looks at him, the razorblade on her wrist, forgotten. “Who are you?” Her voice is steady, but he sees her wavering confidence in her eyes and in her mind.8
He opens his mouth and speaks, his voice hoarse after a long period of silence. “I am someone you wouldn’t want to name.”9
“No one wants to know my name either,” she murmurs softly.10
He looks at her, and then gives a small smile. “I know that feeling.”11
She looks shocked, but smiles in return. A bright, true smile that warms his heart… “My name is Loris. It is a pleasure to meet you.”12
“I’m…” He looks down, trying to remember. “Eimin. It is an honour to meet you, Loris.”13
She laughs, and catches him off-guard. Catching his curious look, she explains, “No one… no one ever said it before.” Her face falls. “They all call me names. No one ever calls me by Loris before. They all call me Dolores, ugly Dolores like her ugly father. Her father murdered someone, you know. Her mother was raped. No one cares for Dolores… So we shouldn’t either. No one calls Dolores by Loris.”14
He shakes his head. “I fault you not. If you wish for me to call you Loris, I will do so…”15
For a while, there was silence, and he notices that the razorblade is on the floor.16
“Why do you want to kill yourself?”17
Her voice is bitter for the first time. “Does anyone care for Loris? No, no one does. Maybe Dolores seeks a better world for Loris. A place Dolores won’t be sad, and a place Loris can be happy.”18
“Loris,” he says gently, “have you tried?”19
She shakes her head. “No point, Dolores says. They hate Loris anyway.”20
He tries to probe her mind, but what he sees scares him. There is no more light. There is only darkness.21
“And they don’t care anyway…”22
He closes his eyes. Too far gone…23
“And there’s too much pain. Loris hates pain.”24
I can’t touch her soul anymore.25
He is unable to take it anymore. He wants to disappear, but his eyes stay fixed on her even as he fades back once more into the shadows.26
He tries not to watch, but he cannot. This is his curse. This is how he will live.27
This will not be the last time he sees her.28
Author notes
Watcher [02]: storywrite.com/Story/1274649
Based on a Gundam Wing quote: "How many more times must I watch her die?"
Dolores and Loris -> Loris is actually a different or shorter form of Dolores. The girl might have hated her name because everyone teases her with it, and wanted adopt Loris as her name instead.
Eimin -> Japanese, actually. It means "death". Fitting.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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great job with this very original piece. i like the way you didn't just create names you created whole charectors and developed them in the short length of this story... great job with the imagery and the feelings that flow through this piece
~Will -
wow...i got chill bumps all over my back reading this...it is very sad, only thing i must ask is why is Eimin cursed like this? I have an idea..but i'd like the actually answer...this is a good story...great vocabulary choices and i love the quote that was the inspiration...keep it up
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this is awesome. It sucked me into it immediately. Such a dark, sad, powerful story. I want more! This was very very good. You captured the intensity and emotion of this story very well.
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This is a very good piece..i like it powerful and sad but great. keep it up
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This is a very well written and powerful story that really makes you think about what you've written and about your life. I enjoyed this immensley and I can see that you have enormous talent. Keep writing, it's excellent.
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Very powerful story. Nicely told and well formed. There are a few grammatical errors, but that could be due to your primary language. This was very much worth the read. Thank you for sharing.
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Nice piece- though one little error. I think 'is' in the first line is supposed to be 'it'? Other than that it's a good piece- very sad.
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Thumbs up
Wow, gave me the shivers. Powerfully written, and some great lines. I especially liked: He tries to probe her mind, but what he sees scares him. There is no more light. There is only darkness.
Leaves questions with the reader. Thanks.
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