Grains of Sand

1

The moment I pulled into the parkway, the exhilarating smell of the sea calmed my mind after an intense day at work.  The humid air attempted to wash my skin of the negative vibes I have been carrying a few hours ago.  I must admit, taking ten minutes to lie on the hood of my car taking in the fresh air was gods send.  The breeze swayed my hair back and forth, giving my body a slight chill around my arms.  2

3

With the sun to my back settling to the east, I jumped off my car and walked down a flight of steps to the beach.  Once past the rocks and into the loose sand, I kicked my socks and shoes off to let my bare feet touch the rich earth.  I took a few steps closer.  The sand gave way to my steps, making room for me and keeping me stable at the same time.  I felt like I was walking on air with every step that I took closer to the water.  4

5

By now, the waves crashed against the shoreline, replacing the sounds of the city with the constant awe of the sea.  They say that if you pick up a seashell you can hear the ocean in it.  Well for one I can tell you that the seashell has nothing compared to being here, watching the seagulls dance across the waves, and hearing the sounds of the world of an ocean yet explored. 6

7

I felt tiny legs crawling across my left foot when I looked down and a tiny crab was scurrying about, trying to get to his destination.  I bent over and laid my hand on the ground anticipating he will go across it and when he did, I raised him up letting him across my arm.  Fear of getting him upset I sat him back down on the sand.  With one knee, I looked across the water, enjoying the view, taking in the sea.8

Author notes

I am very weak in Description. But here you go, enjoy!

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

  • Brian Balzer
    February 25

    Edit | Reply

    Cool

    Makes me wish I could be there. I liked the image you presented. There were a few things that stood out to me. Here they are:

    First: the fresh air was gods send. As a general rule God is capitolized because it is His name and it is capitolize in all reference to Him. I think He likes it that way. I also think it would be - the fresh air was [a] God['s] send.

    Next line was this: I kicked my socks and shoes off to let my bare feet touch the rich earth. I'm not sure that it's a rule but you might use - I kicked off my shoes and pulled of my socks - as you can't really kick off socks that I know of. Also the rich earth is a term used to describe dirt. When it is rich it is full of minerals and such. You might consider this: I kicked my socks and shoes off to let my feet touch the hot golden grains of sand. It is a better description as the sand is usually burning if it is warm out. It would also tie in your title even better.

    Then: Fear of getting him upset I sat him... - the wording made this seem like an incomplete thought to me. I'm not sure if you meant - Because of a fear of getting him upset... or - With a fear of getting him upset... maybe - Fear of getting him upset caused me to set him... Does that make sense?

    Last: With one knee, I looked across the water, This confused me. I don't understand what you were saying bye - With one knee, I'm imaging that you had knelt to pick up the crab and you are - On one knee, If that is the case you might say I knelt down on one knee instead of - I bent over. Then say - Still on one knee, I looked across...

    Now these are just my humble opinions. After all, you won a Silver trophy. That is pretty cool. Congrats!