The Older Man

“So am I finally gonna get to see you tonight?”1

I anticipated that question the second I heard my cell phone ring and saw Joel’s name on the display screen, but it still caught me off-guard. I ducked out of the crowded foyer of the college and sat on a bench in an empty hallway. My book bag thunked down next to my feet.2

“I… uh, I… I don’t know. I might have plans with Tony later tonight.”3

“Oh, you’re gonna see that nice young boyfriend of yours, I get it,” he teased.4

“He’s not my boyfriend, we just… went out a few times.”5

“But he’s young. You want someone who’s your age instead of an old man like me, don’t you?”6

“You’re not old, shut up.”7

“I’m just old enough to know how to make a woman--”8

“Okay, I get it!” I blurted out, a blush instantly burning my face. My heart started to beat faster as I thought about what I’d cut him off from saying.9

“You’re thinking about it now,” he taunted, his tone warmed by laughter. 10

“So what if I am?” I asked, a coy edge strengthening my voice. “A lot of good that does me now, I’ve got two more classes.”11

“But you can stop by my place afterwards for extra credit.”12

I sighed playfully. “God, I thought older men knew better than to use those dumb lines.”13

“Girl, I’ll use anything you want me to…”14

“Okay, now you’re just being sleazy,” I laughed. “I’ll come over if you stop talking like that.”15

“I very much look forward to seeing you tonight and engaging in sexual intercourse.”16

“Oh my God!” I doubled over, laughing harder.17

“But you will come over?” he asked, brightly.18

“I’ll see what I can do,” I said, still giggling.19

“You know how to get here?”20

“Yeah, I know that area pretty well, actually.”21

“I can’t wait to see you tonight, Hannah,” he said, softly.22

“Me neither,” I whispered, then hung up.23

“Who was that?” my friend Marissa rounded the corner and looked at me, curiously.24

I paled, wondering how much she’d heard, before quickly saying Tony’s name.25

“Jesus, from the way you were talking about him earlier, it sounded like you were getting ready to tell him you just want to be friends. I could hear you laughing from the middle of the atrium.”26

“He just… he’s really funny and nice.”27

“And the fifth guy you’ve dated in two months. What happened to all that ‘I just can’t connect with guys our age’ shit?”28

“I dunno,” I shrugged, my mind wandering to Joel. “He’s … just different.”29

After my last class, I stopped by the home improvement store where I worked in the appliances department to get my check. I followed my supervisor, Lisa, into the vault to get the checks and stood by the door while she searched through drawers and cabinets. I saw Ian and Rob, two guys who worked in Lumber, the department Joel oversaw, walking down the hallway and heard them talking.30

“Dude, you should totally put in for supervisor.”31

“Why, is Joel leaving?”32

“No, he’s just old and can’t do shit. We were unloading a truck yesterday but he had to stop halfway through because he threw his back out or some shit. He just went and did paperwork. He pulls shit like that all the fucking time, it’s ridiculous. He should just take a position where his useless old ass doesn’t have to do anything.” 33

My brow furrowed and I bit my lip so I wouldn’t say anything to them. They walked into the break room and I couldn’t hear their voices anymore.34

“Hannah?” I turned and saw Lisa staring at me, one of her brows arched. I flushed, took my check and thanked her. 35

It was dark when I got to Joel’s place. I parked my car in the driveway of his small house and shakily walked to the front door. I rang the bell then heard him walking towards the door. He opened it and smiled at me. 36

“Hey you,” he greeted. He put his arm around my lower back when I walked inside, closed the door and kissed me deeply. “You’re shaking,” he remarked, concerned.37

“I’m just nervous.”38

“Sweetheart, when you’ve been around this world and done as many things as I have, nothing gets you nervous,” he chuckled. I laughed and kissed him back quickly before sitting in a nearby couch. I missed the warmth of his tall, solid frame but my heart was hammering.39

“Do you mind if I smoke?” I asked, taking a pack of Camels out of my purse. 40

“It’s a filthy habit,” he frowned and the lines in his face deepened. “And there’s no way I’ll be able to kiss you.” I smirked at him and put my cigarettes down. “Much better. Don’t go trying to act any older than you are.”41

I cocked my head to the side, confused by his comment. He didn’t say anything, only sat down next to me, brushed my long brown hair to the side and started kissing my neck, running one hand along my side and bringing the other to the back of my head, roughly gathering a fistful of my hair. I gave a small whimper of pleasure. His hands moved over my chest and then under my shirt. I raised my arms over my head and he pulled my shirt off, then unhooked my bra. He pushed me onto my back and his hands and mouth went to my breasts. The skin of his fingers felt soft and papery and it reminded me of the hands of the elderly, touching them to take money when I was a cashier. It was an uncomfortable thought. When I looked down at Joel, I saw his liver-spotted scalp through his thinning dark hair.42

I grabbed his arms and shoved him. He looked up at me, confused.43

“What’s wrong?”44

“Your back,” I blurted out. “Didn’t you hurt your back? Are you… up to anything?”45

“What?”46

“I was at the store and I heard Rob and Ian saying you… threw your back out,” I admitted, regretting it when I saw him frown, angrily, his brow creasing. 47

“Yeah, they would be talking about that,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. He looked back at me and said “Well, I’m feeling fine, and I’m all up for showing you that I’m just as good if not better than any boy your age.”48

He stood up, then slid his arms under me and picked me up. I cried out, surprised, then started laughing, bouncing as he carried me down a hallway and into a dark room. I heard a light switch flicked on as the room brightened. He set me down on his bed.49

“Get your clothes off the rest of the way, I wanna look at you.” His gaze was hungry on me as I unzipped my jeans and slid them down my legs. “God, all that time I spent staring at you at work and you look even better than I thought you would.”50

He sat on the side of the bed and drew me into his lap so that my back was against his stomach. I looked forward and was staring at a full-length mirror on the wall next to the bed. I saw, as well as felt, his hands roaming over my breasts and between my legs, and his head lolling over my shoulder as he kissed my neck. 51

“How the hell did I get so lucky?” he asked. “You’re so beautiful, Hannah… so young and so perfect…”52

I closed my eyes. His breath was warm on my skin and his words caressed me. I only whimpered a response, my body awash in pleasure. 53

“They all think I’m too old, huh?” he asked, an aggressive edge to his voice. His hands gripped me harder, hot and slick with sweat. 54

“Don’t talk about that now,” I moaned. He pinched one of my nipples and sent a stinging pain through me. “Joel, please…”55

“An old man couldn’t make you feel like this, could he, baby,” he chuckled. “Christ, I’d forgotten what it was like to be young, to have smooth skin and strong muscles and thick hair…” 56

His hands and mouth felt like they were burning me with their fervor and my head was spinning. Dizziness was fighting to overtake me and I opened me eyes, feeling panic instead of arousal. He held me to him, his fingers just pressing my skin hard instead of teasing me.57

“Joel -- Joel, what--” 58

I noticed his hands first, then his arms. His skin was no longer creased or pale as it hard been merely seconds ago. His complexion was ruddy with more than just arousal. He was holding onto a body that was saggy, with veins showing blue through thin, wrinkled legs, a body that I realized from the corresponding touch was my own. I saw the thick, black hair that was brushing the side of my face and turned my head, which took much effort, as my bones suddenly felt stiff and brittle.59

“Joel, what…” the words could barely come. It was hard to draw a breath and my heart was beating furiously, like a weak and dying animal. 60

“Oh Hannah,” he whispered sweetly, smiling at me with a face that was unlined and smooth. “You’ve invigorated me in a way you never imagined. Your youth and perfection… it’s just what I needed.”61

He lifted me up then set me back on his bed, handling me like a china doll, every movement making my body protest in pain.62

“What … did you …” was all I managed to rasp. My head drooped to the side and I was looking at the mirror. An insubstantial, wizened creature started back at me, terrified and sad.63

“Oh, my dear girl, don’t you worry about anything. It’ll be over soon enough.”64

I watched him walk away, then turn to light off and shut the door behind him.