The Story I am about to tell you is not your typical "fairy tale." It does not start with, "once Upon a Time" and it doesn't end in, "and they all lived happily ever after." There are absolutley no talking animals, no magic spells, and not once will any of these characters burst into song. This is the real story, this is my story.
It all began when my mother and I were visited by a tax collector named Lucas. He was very tall and thin, with hollowed out cheeks and curly brunette hair. And the typical jerk of a tax collector. Lucas informed us that we owed the government three thousand dollars.
"I must inform you ladies that you owe the government three thousand dollars."
"WHAT?" mom shrilled, "we don't have that kind of money! Have you seen our house?" Everyone gave the house the up and down. The walls were revealing their insulaiton, the floor was grey and very cold on our feet, and there was no worthy furniture in sight. It was very apparent that our family had an inadequate amount of funds to pay the taxes we owed. Lucas then told us that he would give us precisely a week to send in the money or our house would be taken away.
"I will give you precisely a week to send in the money or your house will be taken away." We were devastated, what could we do without a house?
"I, for one, am appalled, we'd have to be a family of royalty to give that kind of money!"
"Olivia! that's just it!" Mom wailed.
"What's it?" I inquired, "I think your nuts.
"No, I'm not, if I could find a way to make you into a convincing enough "real" princess, and get the Prince of Madler to fall in love with you, we could have the money we need, and royalty to boot!"
"Stop dreaming, do you really think that I could pass for a "real" princes?" Mom started scaling me up and down,
"It'll take a lot of work, of course, but luckily I have some money saved that we coul spen on your makeover." I decided to overlook the fact that she'd just insulted me.
"How much exactly?"
"About three thousand, why?" O my God, I shook my head .
" Crazy thought, why don't we use that money to pay back the tax collector?"
"Because, my way is way more fun and profitable. We will be famous, pay off the debt, you will get a makeover, and a pretty dress!" as you can clearly see, mom was getting downright giddy about her psychotic notion, but that still didn't make it a good idea.
"I'm sorry mother, I can't go through with your plan. It's too risky, the prince might not fall in love with me, or worse, what if I never find the perfect dress!" I crossed my arms to display my disapproval to her.
"Olivia, you are eighteen years old, still young, you need to loosen up." the next thing she did I have regretted have regretted witnessing for my enitire life. She opened her eyes very wide, stared me directly in the eyes, and quivered her lip. The puppy dog look, it disgusted me.
"Fine," I gave in, throwing my arms in the air, "you win."
"Fantastic! we'll leave first thing in the morning!"1
First thing in the morning:
We hiked for ten minutes through the forest shortcut to get to the town of Fairham, it had the best selection of of store in the county. The shops were all lined up on one distinct street, Main Street, Fairham. It held a many unique stores from "Lumberjacks Etcetera" to "Pink and Frilly" to "Tacky Parent" the store for parents with the need for all things tacky. We figured the best place to start would be "Happily Ever After," the store that has a dress for every princess. It was a hard store to miss, it was painted neon pink and strung with lime-coloured Christmas lights. We walked in impetuously in hopes of finding the perfect dress.
Inside, the racks were filled with enough dress to clothe half of England. We grabbed every dress in my size that we encountered and carried them to the nearest changeroom, music blasting in our ears the whole way. Mom opened the big purple curtain, hung up my gowns, and took a seat on the oak bench outside. I took the first dress off the hook and tried it on, It was golden with a silvery trim. No doubt in my mind it was very pretty, but there was a picture of Sir Isaac Newton, barf. I threw that one in the 'no' pile immediatly. The snatched up the next one and read the tag, $3001.00, you have got to be kidding me, there was no reason to try it on so I moved on to the next one. It was golden yellow and made of a sheer material, it looked very... exquisite. Unfortunatly, again it was priced at something out of my range. Moving on, I thought, picking up the next garment on my pile. It was a ballroom design, the top being a tight corset and the bottom being ultra poofy with a metal frame underneath. "Just able to fit through the average doorway!" the tag read. This one was dazzling, I slipped into it it and stared into my reflection, Wow , I looked beautiful. I loved everything about it, especially the colour, a lovely pea green shade that brought out my chocolate brown eyes. I slowly opened the curtain and made the big reveal to my mom,
"YES!" She jumped up in excitement, "You look beautiful, the way it brings out your eyes... wow. And it's just so flattering, spin around!" This was why I could never go shopping with my mother. I slapped my forehead,
"MOM! your embarrasing me!"
"Oh hush, honey your being silly." I led her over to the register so we could pay and get this over with.
"Umm..." the cashier said, curious as to why I was still wearing my purchase.
"Just ring it through!" I snapped.
"Okay, okay" she replied defensively, "don't have a cow." She picked up the scanner and scanned the tag at my hemline. As we exitted, I tore the tag- with much difficulty I might add- from my dress. 2
Our next destination was the hair salon. The stylist- whose identification tag read "Clode"- washed , coloured, cut and styled my hair in less than one hour's time. Then handed me the small, golden mirror.
"Vut do you sink?" he asked in a funny accent. My long, brunette hair had been curled and braided, then piled on top of my head to form an interesting crown-like shape, fastened with a silver floral clip.
"I love it," I whispered, awestruck.
"I am uhh... ow you say, appy that you like my work."
"I do too!" My mom shrilled, handing him her visa, "give yourself a tip."
"Merci," he replied blowing silly-looking air kisses.
"Well goodbye then," I grabbed my mother by the arm and raced outside, eager for our next stop.
We walked on through the town until we reached "Pages," the town bookstore. We made a quick trip inside to grab what we needed a copy of, " How to Be A 'Real' Princess For dummies" paid and left. We then had, everything we needed, the dress, the hair, and the know how. It finally time to execute our scheme.
According to the guide, the first thing on the agenda was get stuck in the middle of a rain storm, then go to the castle, wet and alone seeking some hospitality. The prince would be forced to follow the rules of chivalry and get me cleaned, fed, and warm.
"Goodbye, mother," I cried as she embraced me in a hug.
"Bye Olivia, good luck. No pressure or anything, just don't screw up." I sighed, I hadn't even thought about what was on the line here.3
I didn't know what I was going to say when I did get to the castle. Sure I was soaking wet, but it certainly wasn't raining. Previously on my journey I came upon a hose and I poured water on my head. I was hoping that it would rain later and I'd look like I had been out in the rain for a very long time. But, alas, I was standing here without a plan, hoping that the prince was a very unobservant fellow. I decided to wing it and apporached the front door and knocked on it with great force, in hopes of busting my nerves.
"Greetings," A tall, bald, english man with a rounded belly answered the door. I assumed he was the butler, I cursed under my breath. The Prince was supposed to answer the door. I cleared my throat, "AHEM! I was... uh, I was uhh, sent, by the... the guy. The uh, town hall, its on FIRE!" Then I began waving my arms hysterically and running around in circles. In short, I was never very good at lying.
"Dooh, not again!" He snapped,losing his accent, "thank-you young lady!" With that, he stripped himself of his tuxedo to reveal a very becoming set of green superhero tights and flew away.
Really? you ask? No, he just waddled over to his Porsche and sped away. Whoo Hoo.
Now I waited, I waited for my Prince to come, I waited for my future to be changed.
"Hello?" I called impatiently, listening to the sound of my voice echoing and singsonging through the castle walls. Then, finally, finally, I saw him. The tall, muscular, brown-eyed, Prince I dreampt of. He flashed me a genuine smile, revealing a perfect set of white, shining teeth.
"Hi!" he said. His whispy brown hair bordered his face in the most beautiful way, I lost my ability to speak.
"Ummm... uhh.." I breathed, trying to get the words out. I could have fainted right there on the spot if I didn't have a detailed plan to execute. I cleared my throat
Adding your comment:
great job.
