Bree

Does she know How I feel staring into her Eyes?
At first my Heart jumped, Why couldn't I realize...
What I felt was more than I knew...
My Heart didn't Jump, It ran, It flew.
Landed in her hands, Held with care,
Now All I can do is Hope and Stare.
I see her lips-Long to Kiss,
How much longer must I do this?
I know she won't thrust Cold Steel in my Back,
Impossible, She'd not expose me to attack.
She stole my heart, Despite the Hurt,
Stopped from being dropped in the Dirt.
She's changed my life, I shan't let her down,
Lost in Drugs, in booze Once did I drown.
She is my love, my savior from the Pain,
The only person left to Keep me Sane.

Author notes

Bah... She meant a Lot to me, Cheated on me, Dumped me... Just like every other one.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Kaos wolf
    February 21
    Edit | Reply

    Over.

    Meh... No More Bree and I...


  • beezy92
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    The capitalization is weird. There shouldn't be random capitalization in the middle of lines. There should be capitalization at the beginning of each line and for proper nouns. The funky format put me off, but I like the sentiment. Some of the wording is weird too..."shan't." That's an Old English word. I'm pretty befuddled by this piece, but I did like a lot of the description. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!


  • FantasyWorld65
    January 7

    Edit | Reply

    I THINK. . . .

    THIS IS MY FAV POEM lol. No seriously it really is awesome. And it's wonderuflly written. You are by far the best poet I know.


  • lizisliz
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    its really good and your right your a great poet


    • Kaos wolf
      January 4
      Edit | Reply
      When I said that stuff I didn't mean that, I was just saying I can help Josh.


      • joshisjosh
        January 5
        Edit | Reply

        yea...

        i understand bro i can take things way to serious bro ima change...

        • Kaos wolf
          January 5
          Edit | Reply

          Don't fret lil bro

          It's all good, You're a hell of a lot better than I was starting off. It's all just your Rhythm (Flow) and your Rhyme that need work. Nothing too Serious, and they don't have to Rhyme, that's just my preference.


  • joshisjosh
    January 2
    Edit | Reply

    phenominal

    awesome writing scheme rythim absolutley wonderful great job big bro

1 - 8 of 8