To Understand Need

Need is no longer just a feeling;1

It has been personified and released into my soul.2

Your face has been engraved into this being, making this situation is beyond all healing.3

This intensity is beyond my control and it has swallowed me whole.4

Are you trying to break me down or do you really not understand?5

Is there something that I’m doing; am I not being clear?6

How could you still not know that all I’ve ever wanted was for you to hold my hand?7

Just the thought of never being able to reach you encompasses me in fear.8

Despite all of my attempts to rid you of seeming indifference,9

You so ignorantly dismiss my pain.10

And yet you somehow manage to tell me that in your life I have made a difference.11

All of this confusion and your entire disregard on my happiness have left a stain.12

If it’s so apparent, even to me, the hopelessly in love13

That you don’t care a thing for me or how you make me feel14

Why can’t I kick you out of my life, just give you a nice shove?15

Because your ways have clouded my mind and sent my life spinning in a wheel.16

You know, I still wait for you all of the time17

And I try to imagine why you’re never there when I seem to need you most.18

The things you’ve made me feel have gotten out of control; I’ve even begun to rhyme.19

You’ve managed to drain me of life and leave nothing but a hopeless ghost.20

But the need that you have now become is driving me insane.21

There is so much I have to say to you but you’re never there to hear the words.22

If only you knew how I feel; you’d feel my pain pour onto you like rain.23

My words would be the saddest ones you’ve ever even heard.24

My only wish, however, possibly even now a yearning25

Is for you to become what you are to me.26

Then maybe you wouldn’t be so indifferent; maybe you’d feel that same sting.27

I need you to hurt, too, so you’ll know how it feels, knowing that you can never be free.