*2
Lucy had never been out drinking before, her parents thought she was too young. But as they say these days, thirteen is the new eighteen. She had gone under the pretense of a movie-night with her friend Debbie, Debbie was seventeen, used to such parties. Now, Debbie was nowhere to be found, and Lucy was in a place she had never seen before, with a boy she had never seen before. She was too far gone in her own magical place to realize she was in a bedroom, being stripped down to her birthday-suit. The boy stripped down too. Lucy was oblivious to his intentions.3
*4
There was someone else in the big blue room, a boy. She knew she had seen him before, but couldn't quite place him. She was on the opposite side of the room from him, and just stood there watching him as he went to sit down in one of the chairs. As he sat down, straps immediately trapped him, but he seemed to enjoy it. His hands, feet, chest and forehead were bound to the chair by straps, but he never stopped smiling. Lucy wanted to feel what he felt, smile at what he smiled at. She went down towards the other chair, her step was unusually disoriented and hard to control. It must be the excitement, perhaps a bit of nervousness, she thought. She sat down in the chair, and was strapped in just like the boy. But unlike him, she didn't enjoy it. The straps were cold and way too tight, and the whole situation was very uncomfortable. As she looked around, she saw that the large pole between the chairs was now extending, growing it seemed, reaching for the roof. It hit the roof, touched it gently, then suddenly went into the roof itself, through it. It shattered the roof, and the roof bled. Dark red blood spilled from the wound and down the pole and down the walls. Sanguine drops licked the very essence of the room as the rainbow tainted it. In bare seconds the whole room was colored dark red. Lucy started to cry, realizing that she could never fix this.5
The room would never again be blue.
Author notes
Just something that came to mind...
I felt like trying to write a symbolic piece, but it ended up as spoon feeding the reader instead
But yeah, I changed it a bit so that it now is supposed to be quite obvious from the get-go, but I think it works that way too 
(When I was considering to make the story more symbolic and a lot more cryptic, I remembered past effort of the kind that many people just responded to by saying that it was bad because they didn't get what it was about
Hence the middle section and the phallus imagery in this one, hehe)
(The story is marked non-adult, but 'adult' always joins in for some reason, and I can't edit the tag out... I tried several times! This is not an adult story, adult themes perhaps, but the sex and virgin tag cover that... don't know why... if any "high ranking officer" on the site can change that, it would be greatly appreciated)
Comments
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this was awesome...kind of like the psychedelic colors that one sees when one is smokin somthin! but, really, this was well written and vivid...great job!
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Reads like a vivid dream, or as something maybe inspired by a dream. I don't think the middle paragraph is spoonfeeding; I think it balances out the surrealism quite nicely. One thing: you maybe need Lucy to have sampled something other than alcohol... my own memories of teenage drinking bouts are of a depressing mental mush, nothing like these extraordinary hallucinatory images.

beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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The symbolic nature was great. I didn't really understand the symbolism until the ending, and then it came to me. The spoon-fed paragraph was a nice gesture, though it took the fun out of interpretting it.
It was a nice read, good visualization.
All in all, it disturbed me. The situation she was in - her fault, yes, but still... That kind of story concept just always cuts into my mind. Maybe I have repressed memories, or something. lawl
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Nice writeup. Bringing the same feelings...Empathetic work.

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This... scares me a lot... But that's not your fault... :/
Great job. Really liked the imagery. <3

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Drac, I like it. Very symbolic. I like it.
LJ


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.





