Seven Days

Day 7. Seven days I've been in this hell hole. Seven days since I killed 10 kids. I took the game of my dreams and brought it to life.1


And I still didn't win.2


Actually, I lost pretty badly. I was supposed to go in, kill the popular kids other than Josie, and then kill myself. It's a simple plan, and I still managed to mess it up. I think I killed only two of those kids; Courtney and Matt. I injured all the rest, at the very least. All those other kids were unnecessary; they simply got in my way. I feel sort of bad for them, they really didn't need to die. They didn't deserve it; they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.3

My mother hired a lawyer the day of the shooting; his name is Jordan McAfee. He's my only visitor so far, and he keeps asking me all these questions about my childhood, looking for a reason to get me acquitted. If I get acquitted, then I won't have to spend the rest of my life in prison.4


As if I'm ever going to get out of here.5


I was supposed to die. I shouldn't be here right now. I had guns in my goddamn room for ages now. My father, a devoted hunter, has had rifles in the safe in our basement for as long as I can remember- and I had the key to it. I could've shot my self sooner at school, or when that detective found me.6


Josie should've shot me.7


She was going to. She had taken one of my guns out of my backpack. She was even aiming at me, for the devil's sake~ I thought it was finally over. If Josie, the only person who ever stuck up for me, was going to shoot me, then I wasn't going to fight back. My life would be nothing without her, and I'd never hurt her.8


She shot Matt instead.9


I still can't believe it. The idiot should have shot me! She should have shot me and then she'd be the town hero. No one could ever taunt her for our once friendship, and she could finally be herself again. She would live a long happy life with Matt, the love of her life. Instead, she shot her boyfriend in the stomach. When that didn't kill him, she tried to shoot him again, but it jammed. I finished the job for her.10

Of course, no one knows. I told Josie not to tell anyone; that it wasn't worth ruining her life too. Besides, even if she did want to turn herself in, I would still be the one who got in trouble for it. She may have shot him first, but I was the one who killed him. I brought that bullet to his head, not Josie.11

Seven days has passed. I've been counting the markings on the wall, because they won't let me do anything else. They won't let me go out to the yard to exercise or read magazines. They're too afraid I'm going to commit suicide before the trail. Ironic, isn't it? I killed 10 kids, the town wants me dead anyway, and they won't let me kill myself.12


Why don't they understand that all I want is to die?13

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