Never talk to yourself.

~Lalalalalala1

Shutup I can't concentrate2

~You shutup, I'm singing here.3

You sing horribly, now let me work4

~Nope, don't think so LALALALAALALALALa5

Argh, come on please!6

~You're doing it wrong.7

No, I'm not.8

~Yes you are, that doesn't go there.9

Gah, just leave me alone ok.10

~Nope, I'm telling you if you connect that-11

Then the clock will set correctly, look, I've been doing this for years, I think I know what I'm doing.12

~Yeah and I've been here doing it with you each of those times and that's why I know you're doing it wrong.13

I'm Not doing it wrong!14

~Oooohhh… Don't get mad, that will just make you lose your place.15

Go away!16

~Hey, aren't you worried about all those people?17

No, now go away… The blue wire should go-18

~To the timer.19

What did I say? Now go.20

~You know I can't go anywhere. I'm inside your head. I'll be here forever. LaLaLaaaaaaa…21

Well then shut up and let me do my work. The blue wire....22

~Haven't you heard talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity?23

No, and I don't care.24

~Well, I suppose you wouldn't, I mean you'd have to be insane to do your job.25

I can't even do my job with you talking all the time.26

~Look, I just want to help and I see the green wire is where the yellow is supposed to be and-27

And it's perfectly fine. Now this blue wire-28

BOOM!29

Wow… Where am I? That bomb must have gone off by accident. The blue wire was going in the right place. Look at how beautiful it is up here. I told them all I'd go to heaven and those heathens didn't believe me. Now, for my reward and everlasting peace.30

~You think it's that peaceful here? I mean it's nice but it's a bit too blue. I mean doesn't blue remind you of the wire and-31

No! What are you doing in my head, go away!32

~But I'm you, you didn't expect to come all the way up here and not have a part of yourself did you?33

Yes, of course I did! You are evil! You are… Up here?34

~You feel that too? I mean I thought it was nice how the clouds were racing below us but now they seem to be going up.35

We're falling?36

~It would seem that way.37

To… That place?38

~Come on it won't be that bad you'll have me.39

Go to hell!40

~Well, that's the general idea and it looks like you're coming with me.41

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

Author notes

probably the most random thing I've ever written. (yeah I know, it's not that random )

written for contest; Why Are You Talking to Yourself? by Frozen Angel

hope this is what you're looking for, it just popped into my head when I saw the contest.

for contest; Whatever!!!! by Savage
SN: tonialoise (seems kind of pointless to put this here since they're now anomyzing the username on the entire page including notes )

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • ArcDeIrisxXxRainbow
    June 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    okay this was comp-letely awesome. i talk to myself but i've never actually had a conversation...thanks for entering my contest!

  • Kismet Krazy
    June 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    haha it made a little sense. But the fact that it was more crazy than sense making is awesome. I think everyone has a little insanity in them like this. haha. xD It's what makes life interesting. great job on this. and good luck with your contests.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Luci Ferraris
    June 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This was fun to read. I recognize things of myself in it when I'm at work. Am I getting insane or do we all talk to ourselves?

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


    • tonialoise
      June 7, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      nah, I think we all talk to ourselves.... and we're all a little insane.


  • Mr.Matrix
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Plenty

    Muy Comico...now he will forever think of that red wire...or the firey brimstony colored one


  • Savage
    February 27, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Oh man that's funny! I though he was a watchmaker, then I realised he fixed up bombs! Oh now that is crack-up worthy! I LOVED it!

    P.S And no, no sense at all.


  • SoulSociety silver member
    February 25, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, wow. That was the funniest thing ive read all day! He was talking to himself. He was part of a bomb squad, am i right? He was in Heaven but started falling to hell. Haha

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • catacombkittenz
    February 25, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome.

    Ha. This is me on a daily basis, sans bombs. It might help to keep things a bit more organized, offsetting one 'speaker' from another.
    But really, it's great as is. Good job.


  • Silver Dancer silver member
    January 18, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    wow i really liked this it made me crack up good luck


  • ziggy3650
    January 17, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    I talk to myself sometimes too!

    This story really speaks. I undrstand that I always don't listen to that voice in my head. But if I do maybe I won't end up like this guy. This is a very good topic which everyone can relate to. Keep up the good work!


  • Alenia
    January 17, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    It's interesting,

    But it could use some revision. Maybe a period or comma somewhere, maybe after an affirmation.

    I would love to hear about the past of this person. Because it's not completely decided they're in a bomb squad.

    Knowing the luck that I have, I'll be stuck in this situation sometime in my life, and I'll think to myself, "Well, I've been dealing with random bad situations for years! I know what I'm doing!" Then there will be that moment where my conscience is telling me not to cut that wire...

    Ahh, I ramble. Anyways! It's nice.


    • tonialoise
      January 17, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

      Yes, I made it purposely ambiguous whether he was setting the bomb or disarming it. I leave it up to the reader to decide if he got what he deserved.


  • nkkburk
    January 16, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    I TALK TO MYSELF!!!

    I just wanted to let you know that I don't really read others stories, and the fact that this one is about talking to yourself, I AM SO HAPPY!

    Someone finally made a story about us. YEAH! GO YOU!


    • tonialoise
      January 16, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      haha! Yep, talk to myself all the time, often aloud. I get strange looks from people that don't know me.

      Glad you enjoyed it.


  • Frozen Angel
    January 1, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    It did make sense, I can tell you that. And you're the second person to include "Did you know that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity?" in their contest piece. I give you props for that

    I also love how the character brushed off the mental comment after the bomb exploded.
    And I like how you added the twist of falling and going to hell at the end.

    Nice job.

    Thank you so much for entering and entertaining me for a few minutes.

    (Oh, and I like how the voice inside the head brought up the color "blue" again...)

    *Frozen Angel*

1 - 17 of 17