Dreaming of You (Chapter Twenty Two: As Cold as a Dish Can Get)

1

We spent the entire night in each others arms. We probably would have spent the entire day that way if not for the tentative knock on the door that sent us scrambling for cover. Belle managed to pull a bathrobe over herself and I dove under the blankets as the door began to open. 2

"It's just me." Mikey whispered through the crack in the door. "I know it's early but I wanted to talk to you guys." 3

"Can it wait till we’re ummh decent?" Belle asked, not bothering to whisper.4

"Decent? You two? Man, I don't think that will ever happen." Mikey laughed. "But it can wait till you're dressed. Meet me in the kitchen, and try not to get too distracted. I want to talk to you guys before everyone else is up." 5

Mikey eased the door shut. 6

"I wonder what that was all about." Belle said gathering clothes from her dresser. 7

"I haven't the faintest idea." I said, shrugging. 8

I slid out from under the blankets and snuck up behind Belle, wrapping her in a hug from behind. She leaned back against me sighing softly. I held her until she started giggling.9

"What's so funny?" I asked, turning her around to face me.10

"You need a shower." She giggled. "You smell like sex." 11

I nibbled on her neck, making her squeal. "I wonder how that happened." 12

"I don't know," She sounded breathless. "But, me thinks you've been up to no good." 13

She tried to step away from me but I pulled her close. 14

"I think I've been up to a whole lot of good, if all that moaning coming from you last night was any indication." I watched the blush spread over her cheeks. "A whole lot of good, just as I thought."15

She tugged away from me. "Shower time, Mr. Way." I gave her a lascivious grin. "Oh no, I know what you're thinking. The answer's no. We need to go see what your little brother wants."16

I pouted at her and she laughed, dragging me into the bathroom.17

Much refreshed from our shower, I headed downstairs, Gerard following right behind me. 18

We made sure to be as quiet as possible when we passed the living room where everyone else was still sleeping. 19

Mikey was waiting at the kitchen table, coffee in hand. He smiled at us as we entered. I helped myself to a cup of coffee from the pot on the counter. 20

"So what was so important that you had to...wake us up?" 21

Mikey rolled his eyes. "Wake you up? Yeah right."22

"Get to the point, Mikes." Gerard mumbled sounding slightly embarrassed. 23

"I wanted to congratulate you guys." I could feel my eyes widen in shock. "On the engagement, Bells. I don't think I want to know what you thought I was congratulating you on."24

"How did you know?" I asked amazed that he knew.25

"Gerard showed me the ring last night at the club before you went on. I assumed that he wasn't going to waste anytime asking, and the squeals I heard that had nothing to do with sex." Gerard punched him on the shoulder. "OUCH, well I figured that he had asked and I wanted to be the first to congratulate you guys."26

I looked at him, slightly confused. "Ring? What ring?"27

"Oh, shit." Gerard yelped. "I forgot all about it. I hadn't planned on asking you like I did last night. I had this plan, you see. After the show I was going to take you out under the stars, talk a bunch of romantic crap, you know the usual. But you were plastered, and I decided to wait, after all the stuff with the house, I just asked." He jumped up from his seat and left through the door to the living room. 28

"So, you're going to be my sister." Mikey said, pushing a napkin idly across the table top. 29

"Mikes, my dear, I've been your sister since you walked through the front door. Not much changes after this, except that in time, we'll have the same last name."30

Suddenly, I could feel the anxiety washing over me, tightening my chest, stealing my breath from me. I was going to get married, again. And to a famous rock star who spent most of his time touring. I'd have to give up my entire life, or never see my husband. Was I ready to do that? Did I even want to? The thought of sitting around all the time with nothing to do made me think of those disgusting trophy wives that were plastered all over the tabloids and gossip shows. Is that what I'd become? Useless and empty headed? Or worse, maybe I'd end up lonely and miserable. Becoming spiteful as Gerard missed one important date or event after another. All those questions swam through my head making me feel nauseous. 31

Warm arms wrapped themselves around me and I leaned into the embrace. 32

"Take it easy, sis. Breath, relax. You're going to be okay. Everything's going to work out." 33

I was literally shaking now, tears streaming down my cheeks. 34

"But what if..." I couldn't finish the question too many of them flooded my mind each fighting to be asked.35

"It'll only get better from here." 36

"And you'll always be my big brother right? Nothing changes between us?"37

He hugged me tighter.38

"I love you, Annabelle Lee Cullen formerly O'Connell soon to be Way. Nothing can ever change that."39

Neither of us heard the door open or Gerard reenter the room until he cleared his throat.40

"I love you, Annabelle Lee Cullen formerly O'Connell soon to be Way. Nothing can ever change that."41

Jealousy and white hot rage spread through my brain when I heard him say that. Belle was MINE. What the hell was wrong with him that he thought he could move in on my Belle, and just minutes after congratulating us on our engagement? 42

I cleared my throat to get their attention. 43

"I'll let you take over from here, Gee." Mikey said as he let go of Belle. That's when I noticed that she was crying. 44

I took her in my arms and smoothed her hair.45

"What's wrong, love?" I asked, trying hard not to let any of the baser emotions I felt show in my words.46

"Just a little freak out, I guess. I'm okay now though, I think." 47

"Getting cold feet on me already?" I joked. 48

"A little I guess. It's just that I didn't think of all the changes it would mean." 49

It, she'd called our engagement, our plans to make a life together, it. 50

"For both of us." She nodded against my chest. "But I think it's worth it."51

She looked up at me and smiled. 52

"You're right it is worth it. I was just being silly."53

I kissed her forehead.54

"Not silly, just a little overwhelmed." Her ring felt too cold and too heavy in my hand. I wanted to toss it away from me. Instead I pushed those feelings aside. I knew I was overreacting, but part of my brain just wouldn't let it go. 55

I heard the kitchen door open and feet shuffling into the room. My foray into the land of the comatose must have awakened them. 56

I dropped down to one knee.57

"Belle, marry me?" I winked at her and she giggled.58

"Of course, I'll marry you." 59

I slid the ring onto her finger amid a myriad of cat calls, clapping and squeals. Our friends flooded us, and Belle was taken from me. We were passed around from person to person being hugged and kissed and congratulated. When everyone settled down again it got oddly quiet. There was a strange tension in the air. It was like there was a pink elephant in the room that was disgustingly obvious but no one wanted to mention it even though it was all they could think of. 60

"So you're going to be moving away or something?" It was Charlie that spoke first. 61

"I guess, eventually. We haven't really discussed anything yet." Belle's voice was strained and she sounded like she might start crying again. Through our connection I could feel that she was a bundle of unasked, unanswered questions. Even if she had asked them, I wasn't certain that I'd have all the answers she was looking for. "I'll tell you what I know for certain. I have to be in LA in about a month to work on the album, I'm going to be working with Jen Jen at the same time. I should be back around here in about six months."62

"We finish touring by then. Why don't you guys get married then?" Frankie chimed in.63

Gerard and I looked at each other and nodded.64

"Great idea, we'll get married in six months, in New Jersey."65

"New Jersey?" I asked, a little shocked. "Why New Jersey?"66

"It's where we're from, duh." Ray laughed. "It's where Gerard's parents still live."67

"No, I know that, but I wanted to do it here. Where all my friends and family are."68

"Yeah, like your family's even going to show up." Gerard said in snide tones.69

"You are a fucking douche bag, Gerard." I ran from the room trying hard not to cry or lose my temper, though I desperately wanted to do both.70

I cringed when the front door slammed hard against its frame. I don't know what made me say that. If I'd been thinking, I'd have known how much that would hurt her. The problem was I wasn't thinking. Looking around the table showed me a sea of shocked and angry faces. Everyone was glaring at me.71

"That was very uncool. What the hell is wrong with you, Gerard?" Mikey said as he got up from the table and left the room.72

"In case you forgot, Way, I'm her family, and I'd show up if I could." Charlie shoved himself from his chair so hard the chair hit the wall behind him and bounced off.73

Ray and Bob either decided that I'd been chastised enough or that my act of douche baggery was so far beyond the pale that I wasn't worth speaking to, because they were silent as they too left the room.74

That left Jen Jen and Frankie. Frankie, I knew would go the easiest on me. He too was prone to moments of utter asshole-ish-ness. Jen Jen, I had the feeling, was about to attack me like a rabid wolverine. 75

And that she did, literally. I'd expected to be put in my place with the soundest tongue lashing of my life. What I did not expect was to be knocked to the floor and savagely beaten by the flying fists of a hundred pound slip of a girl who was intent on fucking me up as much as she could before Frankie could get her off of me. 76

She managed to give me both a black eye and a split lip before Frankie overpowered her and shoved her out the kitchen door. I could still hear her screaming and swearing as she stomped up the stairs. 77

I ran the back of my hand over the cut on my lip, wiping away the blood that flowed so freely down my chin. 78

"Quite the little spit-fire, ain't she?"79

"I wouldn't say anything against, Jen if I were you. She only did what we were all longing to do."80

"What's so different about her that she tried to kick my ass when you guys held back?" Genuine curiosity fueled the question.81

“Loyalty. She is and always will be on Anna's side. That's where her loyalty lies. With us, we've been your friends for years. Our loyalties lie with you."82

"Some loyalty. You guys totally took her side."83

"You were wrong. What you said was beyond even your own worst asshole-ish worst. However we didn't kick your ass for it, even though Anna's our friend. Would you have rather it were Bob I had to pull off of you? Because I honestly don't think I could do it. He'd have mauled you like a cat toying with a fly." 84

"Yeah, you're right, about all of it. I don't know why I said that. I don't know what's wrong with me today. Something happened last night, I think." I stood up and brushed the nonexistent dust from my jeans. "I almost attacked Mikey this morning." I couldn't look at Frankie when I said this. I just stared down at my jeans. 85

"You what? Why? You and Mikey never fight."86

"I don't know, man. I left the kitchen, when I came back he was holding Belle, and I heard him say he loved her and nothing would change between them. Part of me just went ballistic. I wanted to hit him. I've never wanted to really hit him before. It shocked me out of doing anything."87

Frankie's look of mingled shock and horror only made me feel worse. 88

"I know you've really been out of it lately, but surely you've noticed how close those two are?" The rage in me flared again. "Not like that. They're like brother and sister, really." The fingernails of my right hand dug into my palm so hard, they drew blood. "Relax, Gerard. You're just about all they talk about." My hand relaxed a bit. “You’ve got to calm down. Mikey would never do anything to hurt you. Despite all you've done to him." 89

That barb struck deep, drew a kind of blood of its own. 90

"Don't tell me that you forgot about Misty?" Frankie's voice taunted me.91

"I could never forget about that stupid cunt." I growled. 92

"Well, I wouldn't blame it all on her. You may have been drinking that night, but you knew what you were up to, and as they say, it takes two to tango."93

The memory came back with such force that I thought for a moment that I'd been dragged back to The House, having my worst memories appear before me in Technicolor.94

~~~~~~~~~~~~~* 95

The gossamer haze of vodka and Xanax cloaked my brain. I was slumped on the couch, it was late. How late I didn't know, but it was late enough that I felt certain that no one would see me this far gone. Some cartoon or other played quietly on the TV and held my interest. 96

I was so engrossed in the stupid cartoon that I didn’t hear the door open or the tread of high heel clad shoes traipse across the floor. 97

“Hiya, GeeGee. What’ya doin’?” 98

If I’d been a little less intoxicated, I’d have jumped a mile. 99

“Missy!” I could feel the slobbery drunk’s grin spread over my face. “I’m watching toons. What’ya up to? Ish late, Missy.”100

She sat down next to me on the couch, too close. 101

“I came to see Mikey, but it looks like he’s out for the night.” Her too warm hand slithered up my arm. “I guess you’ll just have to keep me company.” 102

“You wanna watch toons with me?” The drunken part of my brain thought this was a great idea. The tiny portion of my brain that was sober screamed that this was a bad idea that something was up. Unfortunately the sober voice was much too tiny to be heard over the booze and drugs. 103

“I hate cartoons.” She slid her thigh over mine, straddling my lap. “But I’m sure you can find other ways to entertain me.”104

As fucked up as I was, I knew exactly what she meant.105

“But, that’s what Mikey’s for. He should be entertaining you.” 106

Some how she’d taken off my shirt and was working on the button of my jeans in the time it had taken me to say those words.107

“Mikey won’t entertain me, says he wants to wait.” She laughed the,a hideous cackling laugh. “I don’t want to wait, GeeGee. I want it now.”108

I didn’t protest further. 109

I’d like to think that if I hadn’t been drunk nothing would have happened between Misty and I. Part of me wishes that I’d at least heard the front door open. All I heard was the dull thud of a glass bottle hitting the floor and Mikey yelling.110

“Gerard! Misty! What the Fuck?!” 111

I shoved her from me, but it was too late. 112

“I’ll just be going.” She tittered with out remorse.113

Mikey didn’t say another word. He just stomped his way into the kitchen. I heard his fist connect with the wall a couple of times on the way.114

Again I was alone in the living room. I knew I had to face him. He was my brother after all and I’d hurt him badly. But what do you say to someone you love that you’ve injured so cruelly? I’m sorry seemed to small compared to my betrayal. 115

I made sure my clothes were all properly fastened, no need to add insult to injury, before I entered the kitchen. Mikey was sitting at the kitchen table, his head in his hands. 116

“Listen, Mikey, I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t mean much, but I really am sorry.” Mikey didn’t react at all. “You can hit me if you want.” I half joked.117

Mikey’s head shot up from his hands. “I’m not going to hit you, Gerard. I’m going to do a lot worse.” He moved close to me. I could see the hard coldness in his eyes. “Someday, you’re going to fall in love. That’s when you’ll pay.” He shoved passed me and stomped his way upstairs.118

The next day it was like nothing had happened. I would have thought it was all a drunken hallucination, except for the new coldness in Mikey’s eyes. 119

~~~~~~~~~~~~~120

“I think that’s it.” I yelled out suddenly.121

“What’s it?” Frankie asked confused.122

“Misty. That night he threatened me, he said I’d pay when I fell in love. Besides being an empath, he’s my brother. He knows me better than anyone. He knows I’ve never loved anyone but Belle since that thing happened with Misty. I guess I keep expecting him to take his revenge, to try and steal her away from me.” It all made sense now.123

“Dude, you guys were teenagers then. I’m sure he’s long forgotten about that.”124

“Forgotten, right, sure.” 125