"There is a crack in everything" 1
Aimee had the perfect life; she was the perfect mother and the perfect wife. Though behind her smile and her flawless make-up she was screaming, wishing just one person would take the time to look closely and see the cracks. She knew that her life was a sham nothing within the 6 meter walls of her property was in any way perfect. 2
She prayed for death more often than she cared to admit, yet her friends told her how much they admired her strength. This world held no joy for her and she prayed for a moments rest. The smile on her face had been there so long she wondered if she would ever see her true face again. The face behind the mask.3
One day while sitting and entertaining yet another group of “friends”, Aimee became overwhelmed with anger. Why couldn’t they see her pain, why couldn’t they see that nothing in her life was perfect? Everything was flawed, cracked and tarnished. Did they not care or were they plain blind? Excusing herself politely, she ran out of the perfect house. In her car she cried in heaving sobs. Why did no one notice her pain? 4
Driving past a church she felt a need to lash out at someone, she needed to get this question out of her mind. Running up the steps she hoped that within these walls she would finally find the answer she was seeking. 5
“Father, could I please speak to you?” she asked seeing the priest in the front pew. 6
“Certainly my child,” he said rising to his feet.7
“Father, why is nothing perfect? Why is everything cracked?’ she asked, through the tears.8
“That's how the light gets in" came his simple reply.9
Author notes
I don't think this is what you were looking for but hay I tried.
I tried to change this to a story but then couldn't enter it under prewrite so it will remain in the poem catagory until I come up with a brilliant alternative. But this is a short story. Thanks
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I really, really enjoyed the story and could relate to Aimee's mind-set. The ending, the last sentence, I think is brilliantly put ove. Just one suggestion though; 2nd paragraph 3rd sentence - I think you meant a moment's rest.
Regards
Bernice
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Nice.....
... ending! Have to say, it's the kind of reply I would give,so it was great to see I'm not alone in my take on things.
Sometimes it's the unexpected that brings our lives into focus. This was clever, but not in the cliched way of a smart answer, just an answer to make our heroine think, take another view. I enjoyed this, thank you for sharing it. -
very cool
wow very inspirational....and true....thanks for sharing...you have such a way w/ words... -
THANK YOU!!! Much appreciated.
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I love cleverness and this has it for sure. Wow, was the ending unexpected. Sometimes, when we think we know people really well, they surprise us! Thanks for the surprise. This is excellent.
Paul -
10/10
that is a cool story! i love it! you made an excellent point! the message was so clear i love it! i like how you expressed real emotions within this it was amazing! i really enjoyed reading this! you have a great talent for that! i also liked the way you had Aimee's internal conflict within herself. trying to find the answers to her questions. that was good. I wish the story were longer so i could give a better review, but its great how it is! and the symbolism within the story was great also i loved it, keep up the good work!
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You forget I have read your work. Outmatched indeed
You must be joking at least you finished a BOOK. I can't even kinda finish a short story. 
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Well I've read this when you first posted it, but didn't comment (I know when talent outmatches mine)
Seeing as you posted it in Shameless tho
*cough*
I like it. It has that strange mysterious element to it, the idea of "hidden knowledge" passing down.
And ofcourse the idea that with every bit of bad comes a bit of good, the yin-yang argument
Thayla you've outdone yourself yet again,bravo! -
i have to say; the beginnign was really weak...very typical...however those last few lines were amazing. you pulled it togeter. kudos.
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Amazing write. i am left speechless i am so glad to have read this and been guided here by your commenting on my poem Blame Me. This is well worth the read thank you.
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Wow that's really cool. Did you totally make that up? It's really clever. Very well written... This would also make an excellent poem I think. Great write
Jon
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Beautifull Michelle Write more stuff like this ne
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I loved this. And the message at the end was awesome!This really touched me. I'm going to bookmark this. Simply amazing.
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Thank you soooooo very much. Nice to know my work is appreciated
Much luv
Me -
This is amazing. Finally a story. YAY!
Thank you so much for giving this contest some variety.
The message you convey in this story is totally awesome.
Maab -
Thank you for those wonderful words.
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Excellent!
Wow, absolutely beautiful ending!
Simply amazing work!
I'll be very surprised if you don't win the contest!
Your story is a definite bookmark! -
Thank you, once again you hit the nail on the head. I can't get into storywrite.com at the moment so I thought I'd change it later. Oh and thanks again for all the grammer help, I really need it! I only have grade 12 English and I got a D for sentance structure. I suppose all I can do is keep practising. Thanks
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I just read the prompt, and in my humble opinion, this seems like exactly what she's looking for! I mean, you use required line, and it's perfectly integrated into your story! It flowed so well that I didn't even know that you had to use that line. It's a really good punchline. Really! I have two things to say. First, in the sentence "Aimee had the perfect life she was the perfect mother and the perfect wife." there should be a semi-colon between "life" and "she". There are some other, less obvious punctuation errors... Secondly, the format of this poem seems more like a short story. I dunno if you want to change it or not, but that was my overall impression. Amazing write, though!!!
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Great Write!!!
wow I'm suprise too that not a lot of people comment this piece yet
I love this piece I love it a lot!!!Such an excellent write and good job in the contest hope you win cause you deserve it
-Mina
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I'm suprised no one has commented on this before! It certainly is a worthy write. I'm glad you promoted it! - joanne
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WOW....I love the message in this write. Yeah....without cracks in the hard shells we put on as protection, how would the light of God's love come through to heal us, guide us, and correct us?
Excellent write and I hope you win the contest. - joanne
Edited on May 14, 4:31 p.m. because ''.
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