C|audia

In My Sky at Twilight1

In my sky at twilight you are like a cloud2

and your form and colour are the way I love them.3

You are mine, mine, woman with sweet lips4

and in your life my infinite dreams live.5

The lamp of my soul dyes your feet,6

the sour wine is sweeter on your lips,7

oh reaper of my evening song,8

how solitary dreams believe you to be mine!9

You are mine, mine, I go shouting it to the afternoon's10

wind, and the wind hauls on my widowed voice.11

Huntress of the depth of my eyes, your plunder12

stills your nocturnal regard as though it were water.13

You are taken in the net of my music, my love,14

and my nets of music are wide as the sky.15

My soul is born on the shore of your eyes of mourning.16

In your eyes of mourning the land of dreams begin. 17

- Pablo Neruda18

Velvet wings flutter in rhyme to a naked breeze .. to a naked breeze they flutter,.19

I remember the first moment that I saw you.  I was instantly drawn to your beauty .. a helpless moth drawn to a flame.  Only it was a butterfly with the shimmer of diamonds that held a gaze that spun a silver thread to my heart .. suspended by the moment.  It was then, that I knew we were meant to be, that exact moment .. when I first saw you.  You were dancing upon the stage, illuminated by white flowing light .. dainty ballerina .. you danced with an heir of grace that could only be described as exquisite, like the delicate flutter of gossamer wings.   I wasn't supposed to attend the ballet that evening .. it was fate .. fate and destiny that drew us together. 20

After the ballet, I offered a guy in the third row $300 for a bunch of flowers that he had brought for his girlfriend .. of course he accepted and handed over the flowers with a smirk on his face .. he was unaware that to me it was like handing him some tiny spare change from my pocket.  I made my way to the stage and handed them to you.  You were even more divine up close.21

You had pale skin dusted of golden glitter, perhaps to make up for the fact that your skin had never been exposed to the gold rays of sunshine, yet you had fine sun-spun hair, that mocked the light of day.  Your pale pink lips were in the shape of a petal and you had the innocence of a porcelain doll .. Your sapphire eyes were framed of long black curled lashes and sparkled .. they sparkled, because you instantly recognised me.  You saw me as a stepping stone in your dancing career .. this mattered not to me, because I knew that in time you would grow to love me .. your essence lingered for days after our initial meeting.22

The next few months we became very close friends.  You would come to my estate in secret,  because we didn't want any nasty rumours leaking to the press, I was afterall, very well known in the media and I was a recluse, which threw me further into the camera's spotlight .. but you came regardless, almost every day after ballet practice.  You would sneak through the back gates of the estate, and I would be waiting for you in the glasshouse as I tended to the orchids .. I named one after you .. Claudia .. and I promised you the world, even though you never accepted my gifts.  The diamonds that I bought you could never out sparkle your shine anyway.  I placed them away for the special day that you would declare your love for me .. I knew that it would be soon and I never told you how I loved you, for fear that it would make you retreat into a shell .. we treated each other as friends .. nothing more, although we both knew our relationship was so much deeper, I knew it by the way you looked at me, as we told each other stories, sipping iced tea under the old oak tree.  23

You would call me eccentric for living in a big house all alone, and would giggle like a fragile child when I brushed it off.  I told you I was a lonely old man, who enjoyed being a loner and only enjoyed the company of one Angel, I didn't need to be pandered to by servants and gardeners .. and I would race over to the grand piano and play Mozart and you used to look at me from under those lashes and start to dance and twirl .. a silhouette of butterflies.24

In my sky at twilight you are like a cloud25

and your form and colour are the way I love them.26

You are mine, mine, woman with sweet lips27

and in your life my infinite dreams live.28

The petal falls and fire melts intricate snowflakes .. intricate snowflakes are burned,.29

I'll never forget the day you came to me with an intense fire melting your eyes.  You were in love and your pale skin glowed and all the roses in my garden wilted and died when you told me his name was Sebastian and he was your ballet teacher.  You were to marry in the Spring.  I knew that it was then that I had to tell you of my love for you, or lose you to this younger man .. I was certain that my love would be returned upon you learning of this .. 30

The look in your eyes returned my answer.  You told me that we were friends and friends only and that I had promised you a career as a ballerina in my productions .. I did no such thing my dear.  I promised you the world on my shoulders .. on my shoulders i would carry you into the light of our love.31

And thats what I did .. I struck you as you were walking out the door.  You promised never to return .. you were going to walk away from a love eternal .. I had to make you believe.  I carried you up to your room, that I had especially decorated for you .. and I locked you in .. I locked you in there.  But I didn't want you to leave, and I knew that you were angry with me and would try and escape if I opened the door, but I knew with time you would learn that it was for the best, because we were meant to be together.  So each day, I would sit by the keyhole and peer in at you.. You never left your bed, and I prayed for the day that you would stop crying and screaming so I could bring you some food.  And that day did come .. 32

The lamp of my soul dyes your feet,33

the sour wine is sweeter on your lips,34

oh reaper of my evening song,35

how solitary dreams believe you to be mine!36

Cracked sapphire stars, burn so bright .. burn so bright in hollow skies,.37

but when I opened the door I was shocked to see that your skin was pulled taut over your dancer bones and your eyes, your eyes that once sparkled of sapphire flame were hollow and dull and sunken in your pretty face and your hair had no shine or gloss.  And you refused to eat, and eventually you wouldn't even raise your head when I entered the room .. but I knew, I knew it wouldn't be long before you declared your love for me. ..38

And then came the evening where I whispered I love you for the final time .. and I bathed you in a milk bath filled with floating blossoms .. and dressed you in a wedding gown and decorated you in all the diamonds that i had bought for you .. and you were so fragile and frail .. I carried you down the steps and to the piano room and arranged you on the chair and I played Mozart for you as your flickering soul listened .. 39

and my heart was so happy...40

You are mine, mine, I go shouting it to the afternoon's41

wind, and the wind hauls on my widowed voice.42

Huntress of the depth of my eyes, your plunder43

stills your nocturnal regard as though it were water.44

Below raven fields the diamonds crushed ..  crushed to earth and ashes,.45

The following day I carried you into the golden threads of the sun and I seated you below the oak tree, not far from where I was working  and I placed a blanket over your legs and you watched as I dug your grave.  I wanted to sit and hold you in the afternoon light, but you would yelp in pain every time I touched you, so instead, every now and then I would stop and kiss your cheek, and I would sip on iced tea, as I sat across from you, I got lost gazing into those sapphire eyes, before resuming my work .. and I was incredibly happy, because I knew very soon you would be mine forever ..46

And now ..  when I think about you ..  i open the terrace doors, and I play the piano, and the air is filled with Mozart, so you can hear my love ... and your orchid sways Claudia .. it sways below the oak tree dancing in rhyme to the music, my love.47

You are taken in the net of my music, my love,48

and my nets of music are wide as the sky.49

My soul is born on the shore of your eyes of mourning.50

In your eyes of mourning the land of dreams begin.51

Velvet wings flutter in rhyme to a naked breeze .. to a naked breeze they flutter,.52

© Aimee Lee 200553

f a e r i e54