Facing The Darkness

Toshio was an ordinary 16 year old boy black hair that made spikes in the back, brown eyes, and slightly pale skin. Toshio was skinny and very frail, even though he liked to practice fighting techniques in his spare time. He always thought less of himself, never bothering to cheer himself up. In his time of solitude or what he calls “Private Sanctuary” he would imagine himself in his fantasy world. A world where there were simple laws and rules, where truth, justice, and virtue ruled over vices. This world of his was perfect, he always tells himself it could even be real if he wanted it to be so. Toshio laughed in his head, he knew he could never go there, even though his heart wished it were so. He awakened from the sound of his alarm clock. The feel of Wednesday morning slightly touched him inside, the sound of his radio playing classical music filled his ears softly. He got up and prepared to leave for school.  Toshio finished his breakfast, grabbed his messenger bag and meekly walked to school. He had a mixed feeling about school, he liked it knowing it was better than just staying at home and doing nothing, he could meet new friends, keep the friends he has always had and he just liked the feel of writing. Toshio did not like school because he would sometimes forget important things, it was right after the weekend, and the worst thing of all, homework.  On his way the thought of meeting his friends in the same place as they always meet and having a good laugh before his usual day of work and boredom. 1

The halls of Toshio’s school were filled with students chatting and laughing as if they don’t have a care in the world. Inside he cried at the sight of the bliss of the other students they seemed so happy. The students began to cry and wail in despair. Their cries were music to his ears, he always liked sadness, to him happiness wasn’t for him, he lived alone with his dad, so he walked alone in sadness. He walked to his locker and began to get his books for the day. 2

“Hey, Toshio!” a familiar voice greeted him. It was his friend Pre, a boy of small stature but a smart one. He loves fantasies as much as Toshio does, both of them love to talk about their fantasy writings. Toshio smiled, and greeted his friend. 3

“Hey, Pre, how is it going? Where is everybody else?” asked Toshio putting the last of his books in his messenger bag. 4

“They are waiting for us in your homeroom as usual. May doesn’t seem to be here today.” declared Pre as he looked around. Toshio got up and entered his homeroom. All of his friends were there. They talked and laughed about episodes of their favorite shows, then the school bell rang it was time for school to begin. The first two of Toshio’s classes went very well. Until he entered his history class, in his history class his teacher was very mean and always in a bad mood. He yelled at Toshio, making Toshio want to die, Toshio felt his mind crack into five different pieces. A cold feeling clutched him, a shadow soon appeared to him, its bright silver eyes shined in his. The shadow seemed compassionate in its movements and hugged him. Sadness swelled up in his heart, it was so great that he broke into tears.  Sounds of shouting of anger began to fade in the sound of his crying. His crying stopped soon, he opened his eyes to see his teacher sitting in his chair, with a calm expression on his face, an expression never seen by human eyes. After school Toshio saw another one of his friends Lukri, a girl of high spirits and extreme energy.  She was standing by Pre and talking to him. She asked Toshio if he saw what happened to his history teacher, Toshio replied that he was asleep and he didn’t hear anything. Lukri looked at him closely, as if seeing something in his eyes, she noticed he didn’t have that empty stare anymore, but a little excitement in his eyes.  5

“Is there something in my eye?” Toshio asked, almost jokingly. Lukri shook her head “No”.  Toshio’s head rushed with confusion, in all of the months he has known Lukri she rarely stares like that at anyone, when she does it usually means something wrong. Toshio’s heart quickened, was something wrong with him? Did he have a sickness? Was someone going to die? Toshio couldn’t imagine what would happen. 6

Everything became black around him suddenly, a cold feeling that swelled up in him. The darkness faded revealing a world none like Toshio has ever seen. Actually he had seen this world before, it was his own creation. He didn’t think about anything at all, his mind was clear. It was the exact city he had created, in his dreams. He walked through the streets, no one even stared at him. He would do anything, shout at everyone and still no one would hear him. It was like he was being a ghost in his own mind, he thought.  The people, their clothes, their speech, the environment everything he had imagined was perfect. 7

Toshio stared at the ceiling of his room, painted black and white. The cold air from the vents raised the hairs on his arms. Toshio’s black eyes shined in the light of his ceiling fan. In his head he was contemplating the world he lived in. The things that go on, the kind of people that infest it. White and black feathers began to cover his room, falling from the ceiling, so softly and light that calmed Toshio’s heart. He felt two feelings inside his heart, his head felt as if it were being torn apart. He kept thinking if his pain was going to be lifted. One side said “yes”. However the other said “no”.  Toshio’s head began to spin out of control, his heart felt torn. 8

The next day he arrived at school as usual, but inside he felt different. His heart felt heavier, as if he was carrying the fate of the world on his hands. Toshio saw his friends in the hallway, instead of his heart remaining normal, his heart jumped for joy when he saw his friends. He felt a smile form on his face, in his heart he was finally happy. The darkness came over him again. He was in his fantasy world, this time he was fighting something, a black shadowy figure. Toshio turned to see his friends fighting other shadow figures. Just like in he had created. Toshio could not control his body, fighting was out of pure instinct, he kept fighting on and on. He didn’t know why he was doing this, he just fought on. The person that looked like Pre, looked at him. 9

“What took you so long to get here?” he said. Toshio became confused, by this.  “Hey, don’t fall asleep again…” Pre’s  voice began to fade as the darkness began to swell again. 10

Toshio sat silently in his final class for the day, it was English class. A boring class for some, but for Toshio it was fun for him. That day he had to read a story for the class, he wrote it on his fantasy world. The “popular” people laughed at it and said rude remarks. However Toshio’s true friends laughed and cheered at his story. Their encouragement really made him happy. Toshio finally reached his time of relaxation, the weekend. This weekend was going to be different because he invited all of his friends to his house. As they were laughing and talking, Toshio began to drift back into his fantasy world, slowly and silently he left his ordinary world. Toshio wished this was his last time to fight, the heat of battle was too much for him, but inside a feeling of justice and courage began to flow inside, and now Toshio was ready to fight. As usual he entered right in the middle of a battle. Shadows surrounded him from all over the place, one by one they fell, even his friends where there to help him. Suddenly a person with black angel wings appeared to him. What was very striking about the person was that he looked exactly like Toshio. The two dueled around amid a horde of shadows. Toshio’s back began to hurt again, then he felt wings come out of him, and an array of white feathers began to fall around him. The other him said something but he couldn’t hear him well. On and on the battle raged, Toshio became weak and distraught and yet he fought on, not even knowing his own reason. Thinking back on all of the fighting, he remembered that during all of the shadows he killed his heart became lighter and lighter.  The dark angel version of Toshio, pushed him and pinned him down. The black eyes of the dark angel Toshio struck fear in the real Toshio. The dark angel laughed, an evil cry that made Toshio want to cover his ears, a laugh that will be imprinted in his memories. Silence suddenly crawled its way into the battlefield. Toshio stared into the eyes of the dark angel. 11

“Who are you?” he asked the dark angel. Still the dark angel was silent, then the dark angel spoke. 12

“I am you, I am your dark side…”13