Teen Memories: The Life Before The Death

Christmas. 1

I never really celebrated it. I had no reason to. I was just a little girl in a never ending spiral of deaths and pain. Snow made me smile, heat made me cry. Boys made me shiver, girls made me scowl. I really didn't know what was going on with me. I was changing more and more, and everyone knew it. By now, I was dating Mark Davis, aka my band brother. He was pretty funny. I made fun of him a lot, as he was a cliche German child. 2

I stared at the snow in front of me. I picked some up and threw it at Kathy. She turned to look at me and a big 'Oh no you didn't' look appeared on her face. I darted, snowballs plummeting through the air. She missed every time and it made me feel bad. I loved being tall and black. Short Asians in the snow didn't really mix. 3

"Ok, break..." I called out, bending down. Ow. My chest hurt suddenly. I looked up and I saw Jesse. Wait, what? "Jes?" I questioned, breathing loud and fast. Kathy's footsteps were fading in and I knew she was coming closer. "You okay?" She called out, Jes smiling at me. "Stop being stupid, you. You wouldn't want to hurt yourself, eh?" And he was gone. That's all he said. He disappeared, leaving me to Kathy. Kat stared at me for a few minutes. "Kayla..." She asked again.4

I fainted in the snow. When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed. I was really sick again. Maybe that's what he meant. 'Stop being stupid.' Okay, so I would try. But why would his spirit warn me? Why was it Jesse still loved me even after all the things I'd done to him? I had abused the boy, and he still wanted me to be careful? Awkward. I waited days for results. Then it turns to weeks. I stayed sick for a couple of months. I didn't get out of the hospital until about marching band season. I decided I would still play but I had to be in Pit. Who said I couldn't be useful?5

It was around this time I met a girl. I think her name was Tess. She was a really great person, as far sincerity and friendliness went. Tess never put me down, and I liked that about her. She was one year younger than me. Mark and I treated her with more respect than the other sophomores and juniors did. I also can recall she told me she liked Jesse. I was very sad about that. Jesse had more than just me that loved him. He had her too. Now he was gone, and she was just as heartbroken as I. 6

But how do you tell your new friend...7

That you're the one that killed him?