Daddy said he loved me. He would always love me forever and ever. He said I was his little girl. Daddy said I was his princess. Daddy said a lot of things to me. Daddy also said he'd stop fighting with my Momma. And that he'd stop drinking those drinks that make his breath smell bad. Daddy said he'd stop hitting me and Momma. That he'd never lay another finger on his again. Daddy said a lot of things. Bubba said not to believe him. Bubba hated Daddy. Daddy hated Bubba. That's why Daddy shot Bubba. I watched him shoot Bubba. Daddy laughed. So did I. I don't know why it was funny.
Daddy shot me too. He shot me in the head. Momma cried a bunch at my funeral. Daddy was in jail.
Now I'm in Heaven with Bubba. He says Daddy's not coming to Heaven. That he's going somewhere else. We're never going to see Daddy again.
I'm happy now. Cause Daddy lied to me and people who lie aren't very nice.
Something off the top of my head...../:
Comments
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I...this is sad...sorta sweet tho, at the same time. I like it.
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:(
Oh my gosh...that's terrible.:[
I really do not see haw a parent could be so cruel to their own children...
My dad was abusive for a while but never shot anyone.
He left so that's good.
Good job.. -
Very good, nice flow and kind of bitter but innocent at the same time. Very sad though... I wasn't clear on who 'Bubba' was... You need to work on paragraphing a little, but in general, spelling, punctuation and grammar were very good. Perhaps a little more description of place and feeling and people would be nice. However, for such a short piece you did very well Great job, and keep writing.
~luck~
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