There was no looking back. Mother was gone, and Mari would never see her or their simple little home again, but she couldn’t look back, not now. She felt a sudden rush of cold wind that quickly passed. Strange, for such a warm day. After all, it was the end of April; cold winds were not expected. It sent a chill down Mari’s spine. She closed her eyes and said quietly, “Mother, if your spirit is still lingering here too see me off, please guide me in the right direction.”1
No answer. Then, suddenly, the wind seemed to say, “Mencaen ny,” which Mari vaguely knew meant “guide me” in the ancient tounge. She repeated the words, wondering if it was really her mother who had spoken to her. “Mencaen ny.”2
“Ouch!” She squealed as she was tugged by an invisible force to the right. She realized the force had been on the back of her neck, and she looked back, just in case someone was there. No looking back…except one time.3
Wondering if it was pure coincidence or the magical words that had moved the force, she said them again. And again, she was forced to the right, but this time she felt it was only a thin line on the back of her neck being pressured. Her neaklace was moving her.4
She looked down to see the golden rose. “Ah, so it is you!” She said as if it were an old friend. “I suppose you will lead me to the Blue Rose? This will be easier then I had expected.”5
And so Mari, her neaklace, and her hidden excitement of an adventure, mixed with a bit of curiosity, stomped through the woods like an invisible army. Mari had been through these woods a million times and had an urge to run, but knew she could only go as fast as the necklace bid her to.6
When she could see the sun high in the sky between the branches and leaves, Mari decided to sit down and eat some bread and cheese that she had packed. She had herself a little picnic; there was no need to rush. After she was rested, she set out again and walked through the endless woods until sundown.7
The next morning, Mari woke up stiff and sore, but the morning itself was uneventful. In the middle of the day, Mari noted that the air smelled differently…like salt. Salt water. Her spirits lifted, she started to walk faster. The ocean! She was near the ocean!8
Finally, the woods ended and she looked down from a hill onto a busy port town. Smiling, she turned around to go down the hill on a trail that wasn’t so steep. When she finally got into the town, her heart thumped with excitement. Never having been outside her little village, she had never seen so many people together at once, nor ever knew that people speaking to each other could make so much noise.9
She could see, off in the distance, a ship coming into the port and if she strained her ears, she could hear the waves, humming in the background of the city noise. “ ‘Scuse me, miss?” Someone said behind her.10
“Oh!” With a start, Mari turned around. “Yes?”11
“I’m sure a pretty lass such as yerself would like a hand-carved jewelry box t’ put that neaklace of yers in.”12
“No, thank you,” Mari said, moving away from the man, who was already pestering someone else. More people came up to her, and she wondered why anyone would simply go up to a person they had never seen before and start speaking to them.13
She slipped into a nearby tavern to rest her feet a little while. She didn’t order any food—she still had a few pieces of bread left and she wanted to save her coins. Sitting down felt wonderful. She had grown up in a small village where she didn’t have to walk very far distances. And though she used to run around the woods when she was a child, for the past few years all her time had been consumed by being an apprentice to her mother.14
When she decided to keep going, the neaklace lead her right to the end of a dock. “Stop!” She told it. “I can’t go any further, lest you want me to swim across this ocean.” She looked around, to see if there were any ships open for passengers. She walks up and down the port. By this time, the sun was setting, and she didn’t have the money to pay for a night at an inn AND fare for a ship.15
She nearly tripped over an open barrel. Looking around to make sure no one noticed her—and she was assured that no one did, because everyone was so wrapped up in their work. She opened the lid and slipped into it. Realizing there was a hole in it, she peered through there to see if anyone would claim her.16
This is foolish, she thought. I should just end this before it goes too far. Oh, this is humiliating, I feel as if everyone is watching me! She yawned.17
She almost gasped loudly when the barrel moved, but put her hand over her mouth. She looked outside to see a large hand partly covering her hole; someone had taken the barrel. She was on her way to…where? She yawned again.18
* * *19
Mari woke up and the first thing she noticed was that her neck hurt horribly—the next thing, of course, was that she was in a barrel, and the bottom was moving. She had never been on the sea before, and prayed she didn’t get seasick.20
She sighed, wondering what to do now that she was awake. Her stomach grumbled, so she ate her last piece of bread. She prayed the ship right wouldn’t last long. How would she get food now?21
Boredom and the movement of the ship lulled her back to sleep.22
* * *23
“What’re ye doin’ ‘here?” Mari woke up, jumping at the noise. She squinted from the bright sun, and looked up to see who was talking to her. It was a boy, no older than twelve. “Are ye a stowaway?”24
“Um…” Mari’s voice shook, and she realized she was trying not to cry. “Please don’t tell,” She whispered, begging the boy.25
“Nay, I won’t,” He said. “I was a stowaway once, afore th’ captain ‘ere took me in t’ be a sailor boy. I dun think he’d do th’ same fer a lass, though.”26
She shook her head, rubbing her sore neck. “I don’t want to become a sailor, I just need to get, eh, wherever this ship is going.”27
He nodded. “I’ll get ye food along th’ way. It’ll be ‘bout three days afore we land at another port.”28
“Aye. Thank you.”29
And so it went, and Mari slept most of the voyage. She finally managed to get off the cursed ship (and gave the kind lad a coin). She stretched, looking about her. A new town, a new adventure to come.30
Author notes
I know it's long. Sorry about that.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
-
WEll I liked it LaBelle it was interesting enough for me to read on.
Kathy -
Thanks for the comment...you didn't like that paragraph and told me to redo it, but what is it you didn't like about it. You said it took away from the mood...how? I'm just trying to understand what you're trying to say a little better.
-
ok great story.Ii loved the beginning but i didn't like the rest of it very much. I think i just read to much XD lol. My fault, not yours!
This REALLY took away from the mood in the beginning:
Ouch!” She squealed as she was tugged by an invisible force to the right. She realized the force had been on the back of her neck, and she looked back, just in case someone was there. No looking back…except one time.
just....redo the paragraph and your story will be perfect!
-Holly Hoo Hoo

