Traverse of the whim

In my room of sandpaper walls1

You can get too close to nothing2

Faceless, nameless creatures spend time3

Framing windows of vacuuming chaos4

Keeping me from the truth and past5

The past that the emptiness took from me6

Along with my future. So on the floor I stay,7

Oozing puddles of imaginary soul8

A pretend game of personality9

That stains the moldy wood a silvery fantasy.10

Mother will be angry,11

Such pretense that I could live in color12

My limbs fold up unto themselves13

I stare in wonderment at the wall14

The wall that keeps for me my sanity15

It reminds me of the world 16

That I have long been taught to leave behind…17

There is a cerulean blue dinosaur18

My little friend smiles at me19

and sparkles with a distinction saved for dinosaurs20

I like to talk to him, my best friend21

We have a certain special bond together22

Though he has long been gone from the world,23

They still carry him along with them24

He is a symbol for the dangerous past25

And though I am still tugged along with the dregs26

The world has proclaimed my extinction.27

I am a metaphor for darkness28

I am the innocence darkness, 29

I am the innocence of darkness that cries out in the night30

Because she is barred from the world, 31

And utterly petrified of herself.32

But there might still be hope for me, 33

for I still have my little blue dinosaur.34

Author notes

I just finished reading an excellent yet slightly depressing book and must own up to the tone it put on the poem. Perhaps this is too literal take on the picture yet maybe that is just a bit of me showing through.

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Comments


  • trekkergirl
    December 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    interesting. Yes, depressing that is okay though. I had expected some depressing tales too. You wrote this well. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • Keirii
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow that was really good!!!
    You captured the envirement and your creativity was awesome!!!
    I really enjoyed reading this. My poetry is slightly similar, and it was nice to get a good look at yours. I really enjoyed it!!!

    The beginning is very creative and captured my emotions. I didn't know what to expect when you were talking about the "Faceless, nameless creatures". Then I found out what it was and was surprised. I'd expected something frightening almost, and instead I was met with intensity. Although, everyone see's things differently. I saw a person who had lost themself, and was depending on another person to find their identity. Hopefully I got it right!!!

    Great job!!!

    Oh, and what was the name of the book you read???

    ~Keirii

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

    • epleen
      December 24, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for taking the time to do such a great analysis. You saw what I saw in the poem along with a bit of your own. I will have to take a look at your poetry too.
      P.S. The book I read was 'Burned' by Ellen Hopkins.
      ~Epleen