19 December, My bedroom1
"Mum, I'm just going to do my homework!"2
That was so a lie. I mean, I'd rather spend time watching my dad play snakes on his mobile in the toilet than do my homework. (Like I'd ever do that either!) But anyway, I usually just write in my journal about how boring my life is. I mean, I'm a 14 year old girl, who lives in a 25 storey flat with my mum on the top floor with no boyfriend, while my bff is in a luxury villa, eating truffles served by waiters with about 5,000 guys asking her out. Yeah. My life’s a real rollercoaster. 3
So, basically my life has changed a LOT since my parents divorced. I mean, we used to have this lovely cottage with roses and lavender and a big garden right next to the sea with a tree swing and a pool with fish and frogs. When my parents divorced me and my mum had to move into this dump right in the middle of New York. I mean, New York is an awesome city, but trust me, not in the middle of the day it isn’t.4
Oh, my mum's calling. She says we're going to that Betty Burgers place down the road. Better get ready.5
***6
Now my life has changed. Again.7
My life changed completely when I opened my eyes. Right in front of me was a big garden, filled with blooming flowers and trees. At the bottom of the garden was a shallow river, tinged with silver. Surrounding the river, silver birch trees and a huge willow, its large branches dipping in the rippling waters. I turned around to see what my entrance was, but all I saw was the remnants of a mirror, smashed to a million pieces. It reminded me of something...8
I turned back around to see before me a snow white swan, its feathers floating on the surface of the water. Before my eyes it emerged into a young woman, her face pure and alive. She wore a silver dress, the end elegantly following her as she walked towards me. 9
“Who are you?” I asked, standing as still as possible. 10
“I am the goddess of the stars.”11
“Why were you a swan a second ago then?”12
“I can shape shift into whatever I like. Anyway, you must help me.”13
“Me? Can’t you get some of your ‘star friends’ to help you?”14
“You don’t understand.” said the goddess, “Twilight, you are the only one who can help me break the curse!”15
“Ok, are you making this up? Because I know that there is no such thing as curses or ‘Star Goddesses’. And how I know? Because I go to a place called SCHOOL! That’s right. Oh, and if you can’t spell, that’s s-c-h-o-o-l. School.”16
“I never lie.”17
“Oh, yeah? What am I wearing then?”18
“A silver dress.”19
“WRONG! I am wearing a white tank top and-WHAT? When on earth did I put this on?”20
“Since you are named after our world Twilight, you wear this dress."21
“Oh great. Now I have a ‘magical world’ named after me? What next? You have to ride a unicorn?”22
“Twilight, you must help us!”23
“Us? The only people here are me and you!”24
“Twilight, please!”25
“What if I don’t want to help you!” I exclaimed, “What if I just want to get back to my ordinary life, no matter how BORING it is!”26
“You just need to make one wish for the-”27
“Oh, yeah? I wish you would go away!” And the goddess disappeared before my eyes, which tells the first part of my tale.28
A contest entry
- Sci-Fi or Fantasy by Lithron.
175 points, ended December 28, 2008, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
PLEASE COMMENT! I know it might not be the best story ever, but still...
Comments
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I liked it very much, it was very interesting, and i didn't see any flaws. well done, hope you continue it.


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hi
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It's good. You put a lot of effort into it and it shows. In paragraph 3, story is still story, not storey. Still, good, and thanks for entering the contest and good luck!

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Well written
the end leaves you in suspense. However, the phrase "That was my last sentence in the human world. Now my life was about to change. Again." doesn't make sense. The tenses don't add up. Shouldn't it be "Now my life has changed. Again" ? Just a thought. Anyway, good work.language: 2, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.




