The Sandman

He has woven himself through many an obscure legend. He stalks the lonely people in the dark corners of the earth, he is there when you lay, scared of the dark, a terrified child in your bed. He is the root of most prominent fears, the man who stands grinning maniacally as you make your way through a dark hallway. He is there when you drift off to sleep at night, waiting to step in as soon as you are lost to the world of the unconscious. He walks in our dreams.1

He has gone by many names, but he fancies himself as the Sandman.2

He stands at the end of the endless hallway. The cheerful light from the nearest window glints sinisterly off of his scythe. He smiles and runs a pale finger over the blunt edge of the blade. The scythe is his only companion.3

He peers down the shadowy length of the hallway. Even he cannot begin to guess at how long it is or how ancient it is—and he walks it forever. It is dark but for the dream-windows dotting it intermittently like will-o-the-wisps. Soon, many of those lights will be considerably dimmer. This revelation makes him happy, and his smile grows.4

He turns to the nearest window, the one from which his scythe’s glint emits. Looking in, he can see the unerringly perky dream of a little girl. It made him sick, the rainbows and unicorns. This would need to be changed greatly.5

From the depths of the flowing cloak he wears, he produces a small bag. Inside is a dark, sparkling substance which some would call fairy dust at first glimpse. But no, it is far from that—it is a stuff taken from the darkest, most terrible moments and places on Earth. It is a much more powerful and potent element than fairy dust. It is nightmare dust.6

He scoops a handful from the pouch. It sits in his hand like a black parasite as he angles it towards the window, trying to get it just right. When he is satisfied, he blows it softly into the girl’s dream. As the glittery stuff swirls through the air, a darkness comes over the dream like a cloud of plague. He smiles as the wave permeates every corner of the cheery dream. He smiles proudly at his work.7

This is his job. He sprinkles nightmares into our dreams, tainting them. He is condemned to do so for eternity. But he doesn’t think of himself as damned. He likes his work.8

He stalks down the hallway slowly, blowing puffs of nightmare into certain windows, skipping others. A nightmare every night will cause a person to become an insomniac, and then there would be no dreams for him to contaminate. He must be careful with his dust. He grasps his scythe the entire time; really, that is just for appearances, to add to his ominous ambiance.9

His bag is nearly empty by the time the windows begin to close up as their dreamers awaken. This troubles him. There is too much hope in these dreams; it’s his job to stamp out the idle hope. It means nothing; a child’s dream cannot change the world’s dire state. He has taken it upon himself to help them grow up and see that they were just another nobody. It takes a while, but soon their dreams are not riddled with happy-go-lucky features but the hard, cold truth.10

As the windows disperse, he smiles. He can almost hear the hard breathing and even screams that his work has brought about; though he cannot actually detect anything, for he lives here always and cannot enter into the waking world. He closes his eyes and basks in his imagination, listening to the reactions.11

But eventually they subside, and he is left standing alone in his hallway, now pitch black, the little dots that were dreams gone for the day. He is left there until they lay their heads on their pillows once more, ready to step in. Ready to help.12

His scythe glistens from some unknown source. It seems as though it is pleased by this notion. It, too, likes its job.13

The Sandman creeps back into the shadows he has made his home, smiling.14

A job well done.15

Author notes

Just a strange little something I wrote Very random. I actually got the idea from the background pic...but that's not how I imagine the Sandman. Still, it's a cool pic. Anyway I'll stop babbling now. Thanks for reading!

Background: http://flutterby727.deviantart.com/art/Dream-Reaper-42242993

~TwilightTimelord/Emma~

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • andhearts. ox
    July 9
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    Fantastic. Alot of adult stories in which I've read havn't been as good as this! :


  • Reaver Greeters member
    June 21
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    Very good, youre a finalist.


  • MJs-Angel
    May 25

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    I always heard of the sandman as a good guy...like the one everyone says visits you in their sleep. But you created a great image of something way different.

    Great job and congrats on the trophies!

    -Angel


  • sberendt gold member
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm,where's the phrase I asked people to have in their AN?

    I enjoyed this greatly! I've never heard of the sandman as a bad guy, a bringer of nightmares. VERY creative and original.

    Imagery? Tons and tons of it! Great job!

    Thank you for entering my contest!


  • His.Golden.Eyes
    March 16
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I would not want to meet the Sandman.


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    February 19
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    cool good story thanx for ur entry!

  • DeathByChocolate
    February 17
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    awesome, what more can I say? Oh yea, weird.

    beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • GuitarShank Moderators member
    February 6
    Edit | Reply
    Very cool. It's always interesting to see a new twist on something very old.

    You show a strong use of the language here, and I particularly like the line “He stands at the end of the endless hallway.” Paradoxes can be fun sometimes

    Thanks for entering


  • Dreama
    January 29

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    hmm nicely written and original descriptions. i've never heard of the sandman having a scythe before thanks for entering


  • MeKaBa
    January 21

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    Pretty good!

    I liked the story and premise of it. I do not think his work would come to an end though, as the world is rotating there are always people going to sleep!

    beginning: 2, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 1, characters: 2.


  • Vanilla King
    January 2

    Edit | Reply
    This was a great story! I like how you took the general idea of The Sandman and turned it into this ominous being that's only there to ruin our dreams! Awesome!

    So the idea is great and original, but the writing itself didn't feel too fluent. Here are a few things I didn't like:

    Too many sentences and paragraphs start with "He...". Try changing some, such as this line in P3: "A pale finger runs over the blunt edge of his blade as he smiles."

    P6: I'm personally not a big fan of the word "stuff".. I feel it's not very professional and it's a word that's used in everyday language when you just don't know what to say anymore. Perhaps "powder" or "dust" is better?

    P7: The ending of this paragraph is repetitive; "He smiles as the wave.." "He smiles proudly".

    All in all a great idea with a not so great implementation. Try reading the story out loud to yourself, that usually helps with me. You can also ask others to proofread it for you and give you grammatical and linguistical suggestions.

    Keep up the good work! If you get to revising or editing, let me know when you're done and I'll read it again.

    Good luck!


  • LiveLoveJabberwocky
    December 30, 2008
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    CREEPY, BUT COOL

    IT WAS VERY THOUGHT PROVOKING. IT IS SOOOOOO AWESOMEU SHOULD MAKE ANOTHER ONE EXPLAINING WHY THE SANDMAN LOVES TO TAINT THEIR DREAMS. MAYBE GO INTO THE PAST TO SEE THE SANDMAN AS A HUMAN CHILD, BEING PLAGUED BY NIGHTMARES OR SOMETHING.

    P.S. THIS ISN'T TWILIGHT TIMELORD, ITS JUST HER FRIEND ON HER ACCOUNT.


  • Silent Hunter
    December 30, 2008

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    AWESOME

    I love this! This is the type of works I want to write myself. I still need to improve though...I would love though if you make a chain of series to this one. You could explain the dreams and how the Sandman turned them into nightmares. It's just an idea but I be the first to read them. Once again, awesome job!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • wolfgirl1
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmm.creepy and scary.I love it!
    I wish he actually did something with the scythe though, like persecuting those the nightmares don't affect as much or whatever. I don't know, it just seems like a lot of work to carry around something big and heavy for show.
    I still like it though!Good job!


  • tree4yew
    December 29, 2008

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    Writing style is straightforward, casual, easy to understand. Concept is original, and well excecuted.
    Amazingly good story for not going into the nightmares hardly at all! It might be a little scarier and real if there were some actual nightmares/fears written into this. You mention "the rainbows and unicorns" in stanza 5, what are the specifics/details of the nightmares themselves?
    I enjoyed reading this one! Thank you!


  • Much-Dipstick
    December 29, 2008

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    Really really good and very well written. You expression yourself clearly and fluently, which aided you with the more complex ideas. I particularly liked how unique this story is; unlike many things I've read. There were no cliches. One thing I might suggest, as a personal preference, a slightly more subtle name than 'Nightmare dust' although I suppose in contrast to 'fairy dust', which is far from subtle, it works well, so that would be your choice. I certainly liked your ideas of where it might come from, and how you used it. Very good piece of work, extremely well thought out and explained. Exceptionally good read and I think you have real talent.
    ~luck~


  • chikarita2
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ok that was a little strange, but I knew it would be before I began. /In a good way./ I was really in the mood for something like that. You did a great job at explaining his goals and emotions without using speech. The one part I would fix would be near the end where it says his scythe likes the job also. If I had written it, I would change it to something more practical that wouldn't disrupt the flow of the piece.
    Great work and keep writing!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, characters: 4.


  • Renvek
    December 29, 2008

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    I think this is a very intersting concept, however I think you missed a chance to view nightmares in a positive light. Most intelligent beings want to believe that their work is benificial and neccesary. The nightmares that this guy/being is giving out are not benificial and neither does he see them as benificial. He is not seeking revenge for some terrible wrong. With that in mind, I say his personality seemed artificial.
    Otherwise this was a well concieved story, and a good start.

    Hope this helps when you go back to revise this

  • Moo5
    December 29, 2008
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    I liked it. That was super original.


  • Sput-Nik
    December 28, 2008

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    Very Good!

    I liked it alot. Clever idea, clever premise. I always imagined the sand man as wrinkled little elf man, with a sack of sleeping dust over his back, giving people dreams, and putting people to sleep. In this he is much more like a Grim Reaper. Very clever


  • gocubsgo25 silver member
    December 28, 2008

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    I really, really liked it, short as it is. The descriptions and narrations were spot on, and now this will make me think differently of the Sandman when ever he somehow randomly comes up in my thinking. I pictured an almost Grim Reaper-type person, with a skeleton for a body and a black hole for a heart. Interesting premise and idea, making a usually beloved (sort of) kindly character into something much more sinister and darker. Good job.


  • Midnightgaze
    December 23, 2008
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    Wow! I am amazed! You're a great writer!!!!!!

    oh and........... 1st COMMENT !!!

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