Emily

Chris walks towards me in a quick pace, I know exactly what he wants to ask, and my heart aches.1

"Sari, can you do me a favor?" he asks with hopeful eyes.2

"Of course, anything!" I say quickly, there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. Even if I end up hating it, in which this case I do.3

"Great! Can you give this card to Emily? Its for asking her to the dance this Friday, I'm too damn shy to ask her face to face." He hand me a pink envelope with her name written on it. I grab it with shaking fingers.4

"Okay!" I say weakly and turn and head for the stairs, trying to hold my sobs back.5

Three minutes later I see her, Emily. Ever since Chris began talking to her, about her, and with me, I hated the name. Mostly I hated her. More than anything I want to throw the envelope into the garbage bin beside me and run away, but my devotion to Chris is stronger so I begin to walk in her direction, wishing my legs would break so I could stop. She see's me with the envelope and smiles, not at me, no, she doesn't even know who I am. She only knows Chris, my best friend since third grade and the boy I love more than life itself.6

"Oh hi, umm..." she says in her pathetic whiny voice.7

"Sari, this is from Chris." I hand over the envelope and begin to call her every dirty word in my head, I would like nothing better than to say them all to her face.8

"Oh! Thank you so much, I have been waiting for this since they announced the dance two weeks ago!" and she runs in the direction of all her pink wearing friends. 9

"God! Not one word about forgetting my name, again! Oh, I really hope she gets hit by lightning and turns to dust!" I scream in my head as I walk away steaming.10

Everyone in the hall steps out of my path in fear of making the goth girl angry. And they better, I am in the mood to snap at anyone! Well, except Chris. I turn to pudding the moment he comes into my view. I sigh, I need to get away from all this so I walk out the entrance and walk in the direction of home. If that is what it even is.11

I sneak through my window, my dad is drunk and if he finds out I skipped again he'd beat me like last night, when he lost his day pay at gambling. Mom, well she's screaming at him, high on her drugs, again.12

I realize as I begin playing "Corner of you Heart" on my Ipod that my life is just a huge replay of everything else that has happened in my screwed up life. My dad's gambling and drinking problems, and his boxing sessions with me to top. My mom snorting cocaine every three minutes, using my grad money to pay for the shit. And Chris, who will always see me as nothing but a friend. 13

I begin to cry and fall into darkness as my song sings me to sleep. I happily obey.14

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I haven't gone to school in three days and its Friday, well 7:00pm to be exact. One more dreaded hour until the dance. Out of pain and curiousity, I put on my old white sandals, and a summer dress given to me from my older sister three weeks before. I never took the thing out since I covered it with my boots.16

Before I know it I am headed toward the school. I really have no idea why I am doing this, I guess I am hoping to at least get a dance with him, as friends. But,how much i want it to be more than that. Much more, I ma seventeen and haven't had a single boyfriend.17

Of course I've gotten asked out before but I deniedthem all in small hope Chris would turn his blue eyes to me and feel the same way I do.18

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"God will you move!" scream at the slow girl in front of me. She jumps out of my way and I preceed to the dance floor. It is hard to find two people in a crowd of 300. Great, now I am thinking about the movie.20

I see Justin, one of Chris's friends with his hand wandering about on a girl whose dress is way too short. I charge up to him.21

"You! Where is Chris and and E-Emily?" Even her name is hard to say aloud.22

"I dunn... Oh! Thoses two are outside in the garden!" he says when he sees me. Even the idiot knows not to piss me off.23

I head towards to the garden. They will be easier to find now.I am by a huge hedge and begin to hear his voice entwined with Emily's. They are talking about me.24

"...After all, she is so weird, whatever her name is. You shouldn't hang around with her. Her mom's a crackhead and her dad is a drunk. She could be those things too you know?" I heard Emily say with a mocking tone. I would have jumped onto the other side and punched her if I hadn't been waiting for Chris to come to my defense.25

I heard him beginning to speak.26

"Well, would it jeapordize our relationship if I stay her friend?" I was shocked at his anwser. I froze.27

"Yes, I am top cheerleader and having a boyfriend who is friends with goths is no exception. Me or her Chris!"28

"You, a million times you! I'll just ignore her, she'll get the message!" I heard him say seconds later, without thought.29

I couldn't take it anymore, my heart had smashed into tiny little bits. I ran to the other side and stood in front of them. Tears were streaming down my face like waterfalls. They both looked and saw me, both had their mouths in perfect O's.30

"Oh-oh ummm..." Emily whispered31

"It's Sari you idiot! I have been in your same damn class for three years, God! You are such a freaking idiot! Die!" I screamed at her face. I didn't care if she was crying.32

I just stared at Chris. He stared back. Just before he was about to say something I ran towards the school. He called my name, but I didn't stop untilI reached a pay phone. I had plan, I was going to go through with it.33

"Chris, I've loved you since the first moment you spilled your Coke all over me in third grade. Even after what you said, I love you! I've kept silent all these years, hoping and praying you would say those words. But it's too late. I have no future, you were my everything. Now I lost you. Sorry, but I have to leave, I love you..."34

I hanged up the phone, and ran for the cliff not far from here. I couln't get the words out my mouth. I thought every word, just couldn't speak them. I guess I'm taking this secret to my grave after all...