Lost Forever

Cesily slowly managed to walk between the two strangers, staring at her every move. Where was she? Why was she here? All these thoughts intertwined throughout her mind. Lanken appeared out of nowhere, as if by magic in front of her.1

Cesily took a few deep breaths and then spoke. “I know what you are,” she said softly. Lanken smiled, showing a clean row of sharp teeth.2

For lack of a better reaction, Cesily screamed.3

***4

“It’s fading away,” Cesily muttered at the breakfast table. Her sister ignored her, being used to her younger sibling’s strange quirk and the consequences thereof, but her mother stared intently at her. Though Cesily had been gifted with the power of precognitive dreams over two years ago, her mother never ceased to be amazed when Cesily had a vision.5

“They don’t usually, though do they?” Cesily’s mother asked raptly.6

“No.” Cesily’s brow furrowed. It was actually a little disturbing, this dream’s fading. She knew it had been important, and wondered if somehow, somebody had found a way to tamper with her gift. Was that possible? She wondered. Could be. How should she know? She wasn’t even sure why she had the power.7

“So what’s happening?” her mother sounded close to panicking.8

“I don’t know,” Cesily replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm and barely contained exasperation. Her mother didn’t notice her daughter’s tone.9

Cesily returned to her pondering, ignoring the curious stares her mother was providing her with and the malevolent glances she was picking up from her sister. The topic of why it was slipping was beginning to make her head hurt, so she turned to the subject of trying to remember the dream. There had been…strangers. Dark, foreboding, towering strangers. She had got past them quietly, because…there was something she had wanted to do. Someone she needed to see on the other side…who was it? She racked her brains helplessly, but could find nothing but a pair of very, very sharp teeth.10

***11

He was late again. Cesily picked at her nails nervously, forcing her thoughts to turn away from her mysterious dream to why he was late once again. It hadn’t always been like this, oh no—he had once been on time every time. Sometimes even early. But not anymore.12

Something had happened to him. He had changed. Cesily didn’t know why or how, but he was much darker and more pessimistic than he used to be. She didn’t really like being around him much anymore, but she stuck around in hopes that he might change back. However, those hopes were slowly fading as time progressed.13

She could see him in the distance now. Instinct told her to run and greet him, but she ignored the instinct and stayed sitting on her bench indifferently. She watched him getting slowly closer, saw how his now-dank black hair hung over his eyes, as it had never used to. She saw the expression in his eyes, the look of pure boredom and even subtle hatred. She always tried to ignore the hatred, but sometimes it was so strong that it refused to be ignored.14

He had changed, not for the better.15

He came up to her bench, observing her scornfully. Cesily immediately hopped up, not wanting to be examined from such a short height. She surveyed him carefully, making note of every detail.16

“Hello, Lanken,” she greeted him at long last, a little hesitantly.17

He grunted in response. His eyes left her, and he sank down onto the bench which she had vacated just a moment ago. It seemed that he took up the entire seat on purpose, just to leave her standing. Something the old Lanken would never have done. But he was gone now.18

She stood with her arms crossed firmly over her chest, trying to copy his stance. He observed her efforts with a hint of amusement hidden somewhere deep in his dark eyes, but the hint was not obvious. Cesily could hardly see it.19

“So,” he began, scratching patterns in the moldy bench with one fingernail.20

Cesily could think of nothing plausible to say, so she covered up the silence by asking, “How was your night?”21

He grinned as if he was enjoying some sort of inside joke. “Restless,” he replied. As an afterthought, he added, “Yours?”22

“Eventful,” she told him. No doubt it had been; she just couldn’t remember it.23

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh yes? What happened?”24

She looked away, not wanting to admit to Lanken that she couldn’t remember. He knew about her power, of course; they were best friends, he knew everything about her. She would have had no problem confiding in the old Lanken; he would have helped her puzzle it through. But the new Lanken seemed more likely to tease her and ridicule her on her bad memory. Also, there was a small voice somewhere in her head that was warning her strongly against telling him, not because of her pride, but because, deep down, she thought he might use the information against her somehow.25

He chuckled darkly. There was no humor in the laugh; it was like someone was mocking her friend’s laugh. It made her want to cry for some reason.26

They were silent for a little while longer. Cesily couldn’t begin to guess at what was going through Lanken’s mind; she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.27

She was trying to figure out Lanken’s change once more. It could be, of course, that he was simply growing up, but she doubted that. This seemed to go deep—when she looked into his eyes she could see no trace of the old Lanken; nothing. If his childishness was leaving there would be at least a hint of the real person somewhere deep inside. But there was not even a spark.28

Cesily looked at Lanken—or, rather, the thing that had taken him over. This thing was cold-hearted, demonic, and mean-spirited; not the boy he used to be. Even his features were different—his jaw was more firmly set, his cheekbones more prominent, and his mouth seemed permanently set in a hard line. She didn’t think any amount of humor could make it turn up—not in the mocking way it had earlier, in a real, genuine, Lanken way.29

“Why do we do this anymore?” she inquired out of the blue. She had been wondering for a very long time, but just now got up the courage to ask.30

His head snapped up. “Do what?” he asked, appearing clueless. Cesily knew better.31

“Meet each other. I mean, it’s clear you don’t enjoy it.” She shook her head, her eyes down. “You’ve changed, Lanken.”32

He snorted. “For the better.”33

She stared at him. So he knew he had changed—but why? “No, Lanken,” she told him, “not for the better. Nobody knows what’s going on with you, and I don’t like it.”34

He gave another humorless laugh. “You know nothing about me.”35

She ignored this perplexing declaration, and continued, “You know who I saw yesterday? Ashton. Do you remember him? He was one of your best friends. Us three were inseparable a few years back. I hadn’t seen him since then, but apparently you have. He noticed the change too. He’s scared of you now.” She was too, but she wasn’t going to add that.36

“I don’t care,” he scoffed.37

“What is happening to you?” Cesily demanded. “Something is, don’t try to deny it. I just want to know. I’m worried about you.”38

He gave another mirthless laugh, this time laced with a maniacal edge. “Why should I tell you? You don’t really care, do you? No, all you people only care about one thing—yourselves. I’m making you uncomfortable, so you want me to change back to my old self so you won’t feel like that anymore. Well, I’m sorry, Cesily—I can never change back, even if I wanted to…which I don’t. I’ve changed, and it’s opened my eyes to the real world. It’s harsh, it’s hard, it takes you by surprise. It won’t wait around for people like you, and neither will I.”39

She gaped at him.40

He shook his head, standing up. “Goodbye, Cesily. I’d say I’ll miss you, but I don’t really like to lie.” He started to walk away, but turned back at the last moment. “You know, I think if you dig deep enough, you may find that you already know what happened to me.” He smiled. “Not that you can do anything about it.” Then he was gone.41

Unconsciously, she sank down onto the bench which her friend had just vacated. She tried to play back the scene which had just occurred in her mind, but found that it hadn’t yet processed it through. She sat back and gave it time.42

An hour later, it had only made sense of one thing, and that was Lanken’s last advice: if you look deep enough, you will find the answer. She decided to ignore the last ominous lines for the time being, and settled with scouring her mind furiously.43

Cesily closed her eyes and searched for a tranquil state of mind. However, her thoughts refused to calm themselves—they were used to working in overtime. The most calm thought she could conjure up was that of Lanken walking slowly away. It was a slightly unnerving image, so she pushed it away and called up two memories to replace it: one of Lanken, the real Lanken, smiling and happy. The second was the new Lanken, looking like a parody of the boy she knew, his dark eyes glaring at her with a hateful anger deep within them. She flinched at that picture, but did not let it leave her focus. Mentally, she set the two beside each other to compare them.44

At the same moment, her dream came flooding back to her.45

***46

Cesily let the door slam, ignoring her mother’s berating as she did so. She had more important things to do than listening to a chide. She hurried up to her room before her mother could do anything about it.47

Though she really had no idea what she was doing, but she knew she had to avoid the two strangers that had also starred in her dream. They had been shadowy, but their hulking figures had been enough to tell her that they were not people she wanted to cross.48

She sat on her bed and thought for a moment. Lanken was a vampire. How did you kill a vampire? She racked her brain for the knowledge that had long ago been buried under more useful thoughts. She dragged it out now, and found that things including holy water, garlic, wooden stakes, and Bibles could come in handy when facing a bloodsucker. Garlic would be easily attainable; her mother cooked with it all the time. She could probably snap a few wooden stakes off of the fence outside as she was leaving. She wouldn’t be surprised if there was a Bible lying around somewhere, too. And she could most certainly find a cross, or she could make one. Simple.49

As she got up to search for her weapons, she paused as something occurred to her. She looked at the clock sitting on her desk. It was midday. How could he have gone out in the daytime? That was impossible. Maybe she was just overreacting about the vampire factor.50

She had nearly convinced herself to stay in when her subconscious presented her with a picture of the new Lanken. He was sitting on the bench, as he had that morning—it was just that memory. At the time, she hadn’t noticed that he was clothed in a long-sleeved shirt and long pants, and his head was adorned with a cap that shaded his face. Above him, the sky was a cloudy, stormy gray, letting hardly any sunlight through, another fact she had failed to register. His maniacal smile was in place, masking the uncomfortable look that was behind it.51

She smiled sadly. There was no way she could delude herself into believing Lanken was not lost now. She would have to go after him, she had no choice. However, she would wait until nighttime. At this time of day, he was probably hiding in some dark corner, and it would be much easier to find him in the open. She hoped.52

***53

Everything was quiet as Cesily pried her door open. She breathed a sigh of relief as it opened silently, and she stepped out into the hallway. On her back was a pack of her compiled arsenal: a dusty Bible that she had discovered on the bottom shelf of the bookcase in her mother’s room, a cross constructed of a piece of twine and a broken pair of kitchen tongs, and several cloves of garlic. When she got outside, she would snap the tops off the a few of the fence posts for stakes.54

She tiptoed past her mother’s and her sister’s respective rooms, wondering idly if she would ever see them again. The chances that immediately popped into her head saddened her. They were not good.55

Outside in the night air, things seemed clearer—if scarier—than they had been inside. The moon shone down on her, seeming to wish her luck on her quest. She looked up at it, surveying the world from its high perch, and envied it greatly.56

With each snap of the wooden fence posts, Cesily jumped, expecting them to wake her mother and sister. However, the house stayed completely dark.57

Once the stakes were safely stowed away in her bag, Cesily closed her eyes and called back the memories of her dream. They had been in a dark alleyway…but the graying sky had told her that that was much later than it was now; dawn would not come for hours. Maybe she could even miss the hulking strangers.58

Her dreams were precognitive, yes. But the future can be changed.59

She started off, wandering aimlessly through the suburbia in which she resided, trying to decide where to look first. She wondered how she had thought it would be easier to look for him at night, with all the unseen crannies in which a vampire could hide. It would have been much simpler to conduct her search during the day, when she could easily escape by just walking out into the sunlight.60

A lot of good that revelation did her now.61

For lack of a better solution, she settled to check their meeting spot—the old moldy bench. She would figure out the rest once she checked there. Somehow, she could feel that he would be there—it was her power, which was subtle but active nonetheless during her waking hours.62

Trying her best to ignore the butterflies that were dominating her stomach, she headed in the direction of their meeting place, hoping desperately for the best.63

He was there, of course, lounging on the bench. His eyes were closed, but they snapped open as she approached. He smiled his mocking smile again. “I thought you would come.”64

She nodded to him. “Lanken.”65

A streetlight was positioned beside the bench, and by its feeble, flickering light she could see what had once been her friend. Now that she knew what he really was, she could see that his teeth were more pointed than humans’, and his skin shone a more pale shade. There was no doubt in her mind now. He was a vampire.66

But could there be something of the real Lanken somewhere deep inside his new, callous exterior? She would make it her goal to find out. She had to give him a chance.67

“So, you’ve figured it out?” he guessed.68

“You’re a vampire,” she stated.69

He grinned once more. “What are you going to do about it?”70

“Nothing,” she replied.71

“You could become my next meal,” he suggested, licking his lips. “You look tasty.”72

Cesily suppressed both the shudder and the scream that rose in her, and changed the subject. “How did you become a vampire?”73

“I may be a ruthless monster now, but that is one story you are not going to hear.”74

“Oh,” she whispered. It must have been awful.75

“Why are you here?” he inquired.76

“I…I wanted to see if there was any of Lanken’s real self still in there. Any humanity.” She stared intently at him. “Is there?”77

He averted his eyes, and replied, “No. There’s nothing.” His eyes rose to meet hers, and they were filled with an emotion that Cesily couldn’t place. “I see the world much clearer than I used to. When I was simply a human, I only saw what was best for me, only saw my suffering, my pain. Now I can see the entire world’s dire predicament, the pain, the loss. But I’m immune to it. It’s like I’m not part of the world anymore, I’m in my own sphere, here to observe…and eat. And kill.”78

“You can’t feel anything?” Cesily questioned in disbelief.79

“Nothing except malice, and rage. But mostly just hunger.” He began pacing restlessly. “All these useless humans around me, they don’t mean anything. I see them all as nothing but potential meals. That’s all they are to me. That’s all you are to me, now. All those years we spent together, they mean nothing to me now. I can hear your heart beating, you blood flowing through your veins. It’s all I can do not to kill you.”80

She ignored the last statement, and went on. “But don’t you feel terrible, killing all those innocent people? Don’t you hate to hear them scream as they…die? As you kill them?”81

He shook his head. “When my humanity died, so did my conscious. It was just one of my weaknesses.”82

“But you could stop, couldn’t you?”83

“I could, yes,” he agreed. “I could steal from a blood drive.” His maniacal leer was back. “But killing is too much fun.”84

It was at that moment that she realized her friend was gone forever. Lanken was dead, to be replaced by this callous, unfeeling thing. She stared into his eyes and saw that what he had claimed just a moment prior was true: to him now, she was nothing but a potential meal. She was no longer his dear friend, she was just another human with sweet blood that would soon be his.85

But her blood wouldn’t belong to him. Not if she had a say in the matter.86

Cesily walked slowly toward him. He watched her come hungrily, but she ignored that. When she stood about a foot from him, she reached out a shaky hand to place on his cold cheek. It took most of her willpower not to flinch at its frosty state. It sent goosebumps playing up her arms.87

His eyes closed, and she could tell that he was trying very hard not to bite her neck. If she had needed any more assurance that her friend was gone forever, this would have cinched it. A silent tear snaked down her cheek at what she was about to do, and she was glad that he could not see it.88

“He’s really gone,” she whispered.89

The vampire said nothing, but clenched his jaw in his tremendous effort.90

She reached up so that she could lay her cheek to his, so that her mouth was next to his ear, and putting her neck into jeopardy. Give him one last test. “I wish I could give you a chance,” she murmured to him.91

He took a sharp intake of breath, then her words sank in. “What?” his voice was confused.92

“I’m sorry.” She was crying in earnest now, but she didn’t care.93

“Wha—”94

“Goodbye, Lanken.” She whipped out the stake that had been waiting in her back pocket, raised it, and shoved it into his heart.95

“Oh.” He had one moment of utter shock. She stepped away, tears pouring from her eyes. “Good one.”96

His last scream was something that would haunt Cesily for the remainder of her life.97

Cesily sank to the ground, emitting screams of internal agony. She did not care if she woke up the residents of the surrounding houses; they could not begin to fathom the pain she was going through.98

She looked at the stake in her hand, which was covered in a sticky, silver substance. It was sharp enough to impale her. What reason was there to live, anyway? Her best friend was dead. She was nothing but a freak show to her family. They wouldn’t miss her. No one would. She was a nobody.99

But then an image popped into her shocked mind. It depicted Lanken, the real Lanken; happy, content, a contagious smile on his face. Despite her bubble of pain, she smiled at the memory. Even as a mere thought, he was delightful. She closed her eyes. She had just killed him.100

No, her mind contradicted. She hadn’t killed him. Someone else had, some unknown vampire. That parasite had killed her friend and replaced him with some monster that mocked his carefree and amazing nature. She had saved him. Saved him from a life of killing.101

Next, her mind presented her with what Lanken would say on her plan of killing herself. He would be shocked, but when he got over that he would scold her for even thinking that. She had a whole life ahead of her. A beautiful, shining life. A life that not even she could predict.102

Somehow, through her tears she smiled.103