Henry St. James

With great sadness in her eyes she spoke, " You can not let one incident in your life determine your future." But, they had gone through this many times over the past twelve years and she knew the argument was futile. He would not turn back.1

The lecture hall was as usual packed. As a guest speaker Henry St. James was always worth the time, and often the money, to attend. Today's lecture on Motivation in the Underbelly of Corporate America was shocking, exciting, and would certainly be the major point of discussion in the campus pubs for at least a month. For the local papers who were covering the lecture, it would generate about three days worth of interest with the rebuttals but then Mr. St. James would be buried by a much bigger story. 2

After an hour of speaking Henry drew a calming sigh as he prepared for his conclusion. It was always the same, eight hours of information and only an hour to present. 3

"Ladies and gentlemen, you must always remember that failure is expected and it shoud never, I say again, NEVER interfere with your goals."4

He let this sink in for a moment before the applause began. He bowed slightly, picked up his water glass and note paper, which instead of holding his speech itinerary carried only a single local phone number, and graciously walked off stage. 5

The Vancouver seawall was very beautiful this night. The light dusting of snow on the Northshore mountians reflected the ski lights on Grouse Mountain. They walked hand-in-hand, silently listening to the gentle lap of the incoming tide, no longer any need for talk. Too many years they had argued and could never come to a different conclusion. At First Beach they sat at one of the benches and he began telling her the final part of his tale.6

"I was twelve and had attended one of those church camps. Kids were bowing to peer pressure and making little speeches about how God had touched them that week. I couldn't do it. There had been nothing. And then when I got home my mother expected me to be a changed boy. Still, I felt nothing. But to keep her happy I went to church and entered the confessional. Not really sure what to say I told of how I had cheated on a test by glancing at a paper beside me. Inside I didn't think I actually saw anything but it was the best I could do. The priest remained silent. I began digging deeper finding little things that he might find enough to forgive me but still he remained silent. This went on for almost an hour before someone in the church became worried. Turned out the old preist had had a heart attack and I'd been confessing to a dead man."7

She sat listening with tears in her eyes. 8

He continued, "Rational or not I began thinking that God would not listen to my asking for forgiveness. Like Dorien Gray I was condemed to reflect my sins forever. There would be no deathbed forgiveness to cleanse me of this worlds mistakes. No last minute reprieve."9

"Suzanne, my soul is full and there is only one place for me to wipe the slate clean. I'm not asking you to understand, just to remember our time together as happy. And it doesn't matter if I fail, just that I tried." 10

Without a sound Suzanne leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek. Gathering up her purse she walked away without looking back.  11

Leaving his shoes at the edge of the incoming tide Henry walked out into the cold ocean water. Before long the gentle waters had washed the sands of any footprints and the tide had pulled away Henry's shoes until no trace remained. 12

"U2: The Ocean13

A picture in grey14

Dorian Gray15

Just me by the sea16

And I felt like a star17

I felt the world could go far18

If they listened19

To what I said20

(Anyway)21

Washes my feet22

Splashes the soul of my shoes"23