love

It is invisible, yet you can feel it very vividly. As it might arouse the lust and sexual desires, it is painted in red; the color of sex. It ignites flames of passion in you, as well as flames of anger. Sweet, nay the sweetest of all sweet things that ever existed. It present euphoria, allow you to float in air, and stop or slow the time. It is a renewable fuel to sustain life, apart from oxygen and organic matters. It is all you need,as the Beetles said. With it, others will merely be necessity. Without it, everything seems to be never enough.1

If one of its thorns pricks you, the sting and pain will be unimaginable. Slowly, the sting turns to agony, and eats you from the inside, slowly. Many humans have died from this 'thing'. It can possess you, playing you like puppets, performing illogical tasks. Its crystalline nature makes it too vulnerable to almost everything.2

It may be the sweetest thing ever, yet it can be your worst nightmare. With this knowledge about this object, people still do spend their lifetime,searching and obtaining this object. As CS Lewis once says "...It makes us feel we are not alone."

Author notes

A big thanks to Andy Stephenson for helping me up.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • boxOFjuice
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    Walao! This is fantastic, Farah! I don't think you need my help at all haha. Spread the LOVE. Lol. Love ain't that bad~ xD


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    April 28

    Edit | Reply

    Hi Fierra!

    These are good descriptive paragraphs. I wish you well in the contests.

    p1 things [that] ever

    p1 I'm not certain here, it could be two ways: "Its present euphoria allows you to float in air and stop or slow the time." or "It presents euphoria, allows you to float in air, and stops or slows the time."

    p2 humans [have] died

    These are all the grammatical suggestions I have.

    You point out that love can be euphoric and can cause crazy behavior. You bring out its weaknesses, but you don't touch much on its strengths. In your conclusion, it seems that love is not a good thing.

    Andy



    • fierra
      April 28

      Edit | Reply
      Ah! I see. Well, I never really saw the good side of love. that and I never really know what love feels like. Thank you for your time,Andy. I'll correct it now.


  • VelvetWings
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed reading this, although the excess punctuation and some spacial errors kind of made me cringe. I do suggest you give it another read-over to pick out these errors; there are so many that to list them would be to ruin my comment.

    Errors aside, your description was wonderful. A bit too deep at times; "Unimaginable as heaven or hell" and a bit too biased; "Beware!!" but altogether I think it was a good writing that shows both the up sides and down sides of a complicated feeling called love.

    Thank for entering my contest, and good luck!
    ~Sparrow


  • Rose Hathaway
    January 13

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    Very well written. I love how you paid attention to detail and the FANTASTIC imagery you worked into the stoy. This is of a very high standard and I would even go so far as to say it deserves to be published. This really connected to me and I could feel the escense of the story, to be able to write that way is truly amazing! You should be very proud.


    • fierra
      January 21
      Edit | Reply
      Really? You think?? thank you for the kind words!


  • Reaver Greeters member
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    Couple of grammar things here and there, but otherwise a very detailed description! I got the feeling you were actually describing 'love' and not the actual book though.

    Good job.
    Thanks for entering.
    Rian

1 - 9 of 9